I always look forward to my annual sorority beach party. The food is always delicious and the festivities always leave me in high spirits. This year I bought a friend with me to experience the fabulosity (love you Kimora! NH) that is the beach party. We planned to meet at noonish and head to the fest. My morning preparations could not have gone more smoothly. I planned to wear my favorite halter top swimsuit (as if I was going to get my freshly coiffed bob wet. ::scoff:: ) and over the suit I wore a great sand colored dress. In my Barbados Souvenir beach bag I packed:
-Sunscreen (Mary Kay has the best. second only to
Avon but I’m biased lol)
-SSS bug spray (to keep the beach mosquitoes away)
- Anne Rice novel (I have to read this for book club)
- Uno Cards (for a mean game of drunken uno)
- Candy land beach towel (Very Retro-Sheik)
- Blue print Maxi Dress- Ladies if you don’t have at least 3 in your closet you really need to step your game up
http://www.bluefly.com/ or
http://www.victoriasecret.com/ or
http://www.newportnews.com/ ) Maxis are the easiest dresses to rock with a pair of old Golden girls sun glasses and a pair of chancletas (sp??). Chancletas is
onomatopoeia for flip flops or any noisy flat shoe. Named for the noise they make when you walk Chan-Cleta Chan-Cleta Chan-Cleta LOL
-
Neutrogena Moisture Shine Glimmer 15 with SPF 20 (this lip gloss is popping! Stay tuned for my top lip gloss under $20 list)
I also brought with me six bags of ice and two large bottles of Arbor Mist to add to the festivities (didn’t have time to make my famous Strawberry Fruit Punch Margaritas).
So I get to the beach fashionably late as only I can do (4 hours late to be exact) and to my utter surprise all of the parking fields are closed except for Field #1. The party was closest to Field #5.
“Oh Dear..” I exclaimed. I didn’t want to alarm my guest so I added “Oh well Field 1 can’t be that far from Field 5. Up for a quick work out before we get there?”
“Not a problem.” He says. (What a great person I thought).
We drive to field 1 and low and behold. I couldn’t be any more wrong! We drove for a good 10 minutes with quite a few other cars to finally arrive at field 1.
My guest looked the way I felt…WORRIED. We get up to the parking attendant and ask “How long is the walk?”
The attendant simply replies “I wouldn’t do it.”
So with an awkward silence in the air I park the car closest to the direction of Field 5. I slowly turned to my guest with a classic damsel in distress look (and very genuine might I add) on my face and asked “What do you think we should do?”
He responded “Let’s sell the ice for a ride.” After we chucked about that he said “we can make it”
To that I said “
Yes, we can.”
As I opened up the trunk to display the luggage that needed to come with us, I felt despair creeping up behind me. My friend and I divided the bags of ice the best we could. Being an absolute gentleman he insisted on carrying the extra bag with the two bottles of Arbor Mist. Being the perfect lady…I let him LOL
Optimistically, we journeyed off with heavy bags of ice on our shoulders and the blazing sun above us.
The journey began playfully. I mean, what could you do but laugh and poke fun at the situation? It didn’t seem like we would be walking for THAT long and it beat walking in the sand (alternate route that was quickly dismissed). So we made small talk and poked fun at our seemingly hopeless situation.
SIDE BAR: Before you think that the two of us were complete fools. We tried calling for help FIRST to no avail. Only I had service (thank you
AT &T).
So we’re walking. And 5 minutes later we are still walking. 10 minutes later we reach a milestone. Oh hey look its Field 2! We’re making progress. My guest turns to me and smiles and says “
Your dress is wet.”“Huh?..Oh WOOOOW!” I replied and looked down at the hem of my dress. The ice was beginning to melt and seep through the bag. I then felt a shockingly cold stream run down my leg on to my foot. My face must have said it all…my guest starts laughing. As he laughs I notice that what he thinks might just be the cold of the ice on his pant leg is actually a pool of water gathering on his pants and shirt. I pointed…. “Look at your pants!” We began to laugh hysterically and managed to keep walking. We’ll be there soon enough.
Well 10 minutes turned into 20 minutes and all of a sudden we spot a
deer crossing the road toward us!
“WTH?! Yo! Is that a deer? Wait don’t move.” He says.
A deer peeked out of the tall grass and came walking towards us from the other side of the road.
The deer crossed the street (safely thank God) and literally came within two feet of us. And I swear to you that for a quick instant I thought the deer was laughing at us on its way through to the other side of the beach.
“Was that deer laughing at us?” I asked.
“Hush you’re hallucinating.”
We pressed on.
Another ten minutes goes by (Yes people we’ve been walking for 30 mins) We get to Field 3. We saw a bus parked just a few steps ahead.
“Hey maybe we can catch the bus to Field 5!” I exclaimed and walked briskly to the bus.
When I got there I asked in the sweetest voice I could muster and asked the bus driver “Sir, do you go past field 5 by any chance…Can you take us?”
The bus driver looked at me as if it was the 50’s and said “I don’t go that way!” and shut the door. This was quite interesting because the driver was of Hispanic descent.
“Hey how long is it to Field 5?” we asked another field attendant.
“Another 2 ½ miles” he said then added “I wouldn’t lie to you” after he saw the look of shock on our faces.
We pressed on.
“My arms hurt” said my guest.
“Let me hold something else.” I offered. I took one of the bottles of Arbor mist and placed it on top of the melting ice. Both my right leg and his left were wet from melted ice.
Then out of no where the sidewalk disappeared. We walked in single file in silence as cars drove past us at 40-50mph. Again, my friend, being the gentlemen that he is kept a watchful eye as my gait kept leading towards walking in the middle of the road.
“Be careful, I don’t want you to get hit.” He said.
“I don’t care! Maybe if they hit me…we’ll get a ride to Field 5.” I whined as I staggered along. I was starting to lose hope
but never thought to stop.
Finally I said “Let’s try someone else at the party.” I dropped the bag on the sand/grass and found my cell phone.
Ring Ring. “Hello? Sweetie is that you??? Why are you ditching the party? We’re having fun!”
“HELLLLP ME!!” I screamed “I’m AT THE damn party…been here for the last half hour or so I’m at Field 4 SEND HELP!”
“We’ll be right there!”
I let out a sigh. Help is coming. All I have to do is sit right here and they will come get us in their shiny car with the A/C blasting…OHHH YEAA (in my best Kool-Aid voice. Never drink that stuff it’s poison…just kidding… but no really stay off it people. because I still see the commercials so someone is still buying the stuff).
10 minutes later. Help arrives. But there is just one problem. WHERE IS THE CAR? What’s this? Why no car? Did you really come to save me on foot?
“Oh dear. Are you there God? It’s me…Sholly.”My help came and they relieved my guest and me of the bags…for which I was COMPLETELY grateful. I didn’t realize how much easier it was to walk without bags of ice strapped to my back.
Finally we made it to Field 5 and low and behold….THEY REOPENED PARKING IN FIELD 5! I think I let out a dirty word or two under my breath and tossed my hair and continued on to the party. I pasted on a smile and helloed and how are you’d my way to the spread of BBQ goods and had a great time.
AND the rest is history. (I got a ride back to the car after the party)
Dear Summer…we always have memorable times!Special shout out to:
My Angels You two know who you are.
The other half of the dynamic duo. You are the best.
The people on the road who passed us smiling waaaay to hard.
Shout out to the beach staff that opened up the parking at FIELD 5 WHEN WE FINALLY got there. You LINT LICKERS!
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