SUPERMARKET SHUFFLE

So I went running one morning in my favorite park. After a great work out I was starved beyond belief. I decided to make my way to the grocery store to pick some fresh items for a Strawberry Smoothie/Shake. I was looking for what I thought were ordinary ingredients that could be found in any supermarket.

Now, my favorite supermarket is Pathmark followed by Waldbaums (heard they bought out Pathmark…whoopee) and trailing in third, Stop & Shop (they claim to have great prices…still waiting, but I love their organic section).

That being said, Pathmark is about 2-3 miles from my abode and Waldbaums and Stop & Shop were equally far. In my effort to save gas and time, I decided to go to another Supermarket by the name of Associated. Now, usually I wouldn’t even pay attention to this place (I am very loyal to my Pathmark) but it was positioned well between the park and my house so I decided “what the hey?” how bad can it be? It appeared pretty clean from the outside, no block huggers in sight so I parked my car and marched in….

THE ABSOLUTE HORROR!

“What’s that smell?” I say “Has something died in here?” Ohhh nevermind, it was just the smell of fish on ice wafting from the back. I calm down and remind myself that I am only in here for three things: frozen strawberries, frozen (fat-free) yogurt, and some low-cal fruit punch/lemonade.

I walk directly towards the freezers to find the strawberries….What’s this? Where is the frozen fruit? I saw everything from popsicles (not so bad) to frozen quarter waters (thanks mom for never letting me imbibe such a concoction of sugar, water, and food coloring no matter how much I begged). I searched high and low and was beginning to get quite annoyed as I didn’t want to be late to work on account of a smoothie craving.

Letting out an exasperating sigh…I gave up the search for frozen strawberries remembering that I had a small amount left in my own freezer and moved on to frozen yogurt. They have to have frozen yogurt with low sugar/low-cal.

After searching for 3 minutes (mind you the freezer section is not even a full aisle) I was able to find something that resembled low-cal ice cream. Keep in mind there was a plethora of unhealthy choices of ice-cream. There was: Caramel Ice Cream, Chunky Monkey, Neapolitan, Double Chocolate, Rocky Road, etc. Nothing that resembled a …I dunno...Healthy because I want to live to see my grandkids go to college flavor. Okay that was harsh. I love Cookie Dough Ice Cream as much as the next person but I’ve learned that good ol’ Tanqueray motto “Everything in Moderation”. So I save it for my occasional visit to Friendly’s or Cold Stone.

Okay I feel like I’m losing you here…Let me travel back to the story (got to love my tangential excursions).
Fine. So I settle on the bootleg low-cal ice cream and start up the search for low-cal juice. This can’t be too hard I tell myself. Everyone has low-cal juice. Even 7-Eleven has this.

Folks, my dear, dear readers….THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE STORE THEY DO NOT HAVE LOW CAL JUICE.

Are you FRICKING KIDDING ME???????????

I’m not overreacting I tell myself. You are not throwing a Bougie- fit. Okay maybe you ARE throwing a fit but this one is well deserved. How do you call yourself a supermarket without a selection? There is nothing SUPER about you…you IMPOSTER you! You are merely a mini-mart on steroids. I could have saved more time and money for that matter (the ice cream was like $5) by taking the drive to PATHMARK…simply selecting what I wanted and sauntering over to the SELF CHECK OUT and leaving shortly thereafter.

Then it dawned on me…my gripe wasn’t a personal preference issue…what about the people who need sugarless choices. Did no one have Diabetes or high blood pressure in this neighborhood? (Although I wish that were the truth…I know better) Did this supermarket do a census and conclude that they didn’t need to provide healthier options for the people that ventured into this particular store?

And as I continued to wonder…I became angry. How dare you charge people higher prices and offer a very limited selection of food?

I was no longer in a smoothie mood. I put everything back that I picked up and immediately left the store. The neighborhood that the store is in is truly mixed neighborhood both culturally and economically. However, my most educated guess would lead me to believe that (due to its central location) the store is targeted to the economically disadvantaged population in the village. Those that do not read/study labels or do comparison shopping. Those that do not have the leisure of jumping in their car and driving 10 minutes to a better choice. Those who are not focusing on whether or not a food is organic…

Please do not misinterpret me or my intent. I am not asserting that if you don’t have money you’re not smart, or choosy about what you eat. However, I don’t think that those who are watching every dime will take the bus ($4) or cab ($10) to lug groceries back from a not so close market to save 50-100 calories or to forgo trans-fats. Although the benefits are clear to you and I (quality of life, longer life, better health), to those that are less fortunate quantity is better than quality.

I went to work that day silently fuming. I felt like they were slowly poisoning people “in the hood.” However, technically it was not “the hood” but the most central part of town.

Hey man, your diabetes acting up? Have some more Kool-Aid! (Sorry Chris Rock must have possessed me for a moment)

On the way to my office, I usually take the back streets. I counted at least three “Quickie-Marts.” I scoffed. Surely they sold fresh fruit and vegetables in there…yea right.

I knew that this could not be my discovery all alone. For some time I have known that those who are less fortunate and less educated were often given inferior choices. I searched the internet for studies done on the subject and found the following article from the Department of City Planning site.

http://www.nyc.gov/html/dcp/html/supermarket/index.shtml

After reading this article I had a feeling of vindication. So you do know about it Mister Man!

My favorite excerpts from the article are as follows:

“Diabetes now affects over 700,000 people in New York City (type two I’d bet), over 1.1 million New Yorkers are obese, and another 2 million are overweight… Food dollars are likely being spent by residents in high need areas at discount convenience stores whose line of food products is limited, of poor quality, and generally more expensive than the same products sold at supermarkets…”

Overall this leads to “greater incidences of diet related diseases including diabetes and obesity, low consumption of fresh fruits and vegetables by area residents, lost business opportunities, and a diminished quality of life in neighborhoods.”

Now that my assertion was validated by the Department of City Planning….what am I to do create change? My options can include: writing a letter to the store’s HQ, writing a letter to the mayor, starting a petition, boycotting mini-marts that don’t offer healthy choices.

The article suggested that this is a city problem. But what about us suburbanites? We are affected by this too.

One thing is for sure. I will write a proposal to my sorority alumnae chapter to do a community service event that is based on teaching better eating habits. But in the mean time what else can I do…

Ideas? Thoughts?

IT'S A SAVINGS PASS!!

Happy Shopping means I got a discount.

I am guilty of so many things…

1.As of late cheating on my diet with a tortilla chip (it was just one…It shouldn’t count).
2.Watching the entire season of Miss Rap Supreme (see previous post)
3.Sometimes not signaling when I change lanes in BK (but heck no one else does. I know. I know two wrongs...but when in Rome…)
4.Forgetting department store coupons at home!

Now one of these things can be easily rectified….

1.Can’t take that back and I don’t want to!
2.Can’t take that back even though "Chiba" should have won the competition.
3.People drive crazy in the city…and if I need to get the heck out of the way I will. I make no promises.
4.Ding! Ding! Ding! I see B.OnA B. solution coming!

And with that I bring you B.On A B does SHOPPING!

I absolutely hate it when I get into Bed Bath & Beyond and realize I left that 20% coupon at home. I mean how could I? They send dozens of them every week and they never expire (ignore the expiration date…the lovely people at BBB do!).

So what’s a B.onAB to do? Saving is a must…Squandering money went out with chain belts and cat suits at the club or heck anywhere.

Here is my answer to Savvy Shopping!

1.Start with a brand new email address. Call it something you won’t forget later like CouponsforYourNameHere@gmail.com . Go to your favorite store’s websites and sign up for the mailing list using this email address. Be sure to use an easy to remember password.
Rationale: Save your real email address from the weekly email and junk that will definitely be on its way to your address once you sign up.

2.Sign up for the free rewards program…WARNING-Free rewards programs try to get you to buy frequently (duh) ….Keep your eye on the prize…the coupons that will come in the mail or to your inbox. For example, DSW’s rewards program…you have to buy 8 pairs of shoes (last time I checked) before you get the free pair BUT in the mean time they send you 20% off coupons regularly.

3.See a coupon that fits your exact need/want? PRINT IT OUT RIGHT AWAY…Don’t wait (don’t get fired doing it either). Waiting is going to cause you to forget about it. Print it out right away, cut it neatly (if necessary), fold it, and place it in your wallet! So when you go to pay at the register…AHA! You have a coupon.

4.Shop when you are ready!!! Learn the cycle. For example, every month or so Macy’s has a ONE DAY SALE…missed it this month? So what? It’s coming again. If you can wait you can save.

5.Be nice to the sales reps. You should always be nice, but you should be especially nice when you are shopping. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve gotten an “inside tip” on a sale coming up. “Don’t buy that honey. It’s going on sale next week!” Remember who helped you as well. You may be asked at the register and your acknowledgement that “___helped me” could mean commission or better hours for that friendly sales rep and savings for you!

6.READ THE FINE PRINT!!! Most times there are conditions on the bottom of the coupon. Don’t get caught out there…read them and be aware before you have a rude awakening at the counter.

7.Get a personal shopper. It’s free at Lord & Taylor and many other department stores. In the past I have picked out an outfit and gave the rep my credit card info and she rang it up on the day of the sale (saving me 40% at the time). No wait, No fuss! Fabulous!

Final Caveat….Be discreet with your savings pass (read: coupon). Use the correct terminology: at Lord & Taylor it’s a savings pass at NY& Co it’s an online coupon or ring code. Use an indoor tone when you tell the sales rep that you have a discount…it’s YOUR business not everyone else’s. Ask the sales rep “I have this savings pass. Can you apply this to my purchase?” This is a classy way of approaching the situation. And always make sure you can pay full price just in case the coupon doesn’t work. It’s tacky to argue over a COUPON! (I have witnessed this…it’s never a good look). Do the math in your head before you get to the counter.

OH I ALMOST FORGOT. Calculate the amount you saved or just look at the receipt and immediately transfer that amount from your checking to your savings account! You didn’t save anything if you spend it at the food court!

HAPPY SHOPPING!

TTFN.

HI HATER

Every morning I wake up, say my prayers/thanks, brush my teeth, and check my email. I have a few email accounts (as most people do). It is my way of keeping organized. I have hotmail (on MSN) for most of my social correspondence. I have gmail for business. I have my general work email and I have another hotmail address for graphics/website help. Let’s just say when it comes to email…I get it in : - )

I digress. Anyway I always check MSN.com to see what is new in the world. I have to say that http://www.msn.com/ comes up with the most timely articles/discussion topics. I wonder if they are reading my mind and then posting the answer. Hmmm.

Case and point. http://lifestyle.msn.com/mindbodyandsoul/personalgrowth/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=7810919&GT1=32001 (open in a new window to review…there will be a test)

Once again MSN has done it! The topic of our discussion today is dealing with people who try to thwart your B.on a B. spirit. See significant quotes from the article followed by my two cents below:

The Honest Critic. “This is the person that considers it her/his] divine right… to speak the truth at all costs. And you’re not supposed to be offended because this person is just being honest.”

The advice the article gives: This type of person is self-centered, says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., author of It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction. "She says the first thing that pops into her mind — just like a 2-year-old — with no regard for hurt feelings or consequences." Or she's provocative just for effect, hoping to cause a stir by dropping verbal bombs no one else would dream of saying. But here's the rub: Telling this walking sledgehammer that her harsh words hurt your or anyone else's feelings may play right into her need to be the brave truth teller, thus stoking an already inflamed ego. So to call her on her bad behavior, say something like, "I guess I'm one of those people who prefers tact and empathy to 'honesty,'" suggests Tessina.


B.on a B. response: Honesty does not automatically equal truth. It never did. I have met many people that use this excuse. They pride themselves in always “keeping it real/realistic” as if their opinion is gospel truth. The sad part is they never do it with themselves. So your honesty is just for me? Why thanks…you shouldn’t have…no really you keep it.

Hater says: “You look fat/too skinny/funny/silly in that dress”
My response: “I look great but if you’d try it on, you wouldn’t look right which is why you’re upset. Don’t worry I understand”
Hater says…who the hell cares what the hater said because I’ve already walked away or averted my attention to something more important.

Next up the “Change-Averse Critic”. I would actually like to change the name of this hater. I hereby rename “Change-Averse Critic”….wait for it…. “The I’m stupid, uncreative, fruitless, and otherwise a loser and I want company…come join me Hater”. (takes a deep breath) also known as the “How’d you get that” hater.

Here’s what the article says... With this type of critic, there are usually two underlying issues at play — fear and a need for control. "They're afraid of the unknown and of not being in charge of their surroundings, so they end up projecting those fears onto everybody else," explains Tessina. Your idea might also make this critic realize her life isn't all she wants it to be, so she/he tries to hold you back along with her/him.


B.on a B. response: I hate this hater! Can you tell? Okay. Okay. Strongly dislike. I recently ran into said hater a year ago. This person was in my place of residence (which is a big deal because I usually don’t let haters in the house…but who knew that person was a hater. Go figure) for all of five seconds before they said, “How much do you pay for this? How did you get in here?

PAUSE. I need a moment to breathe. Exhale. Okay. Let’s proceed.

Hater: How much do you pay for this? How did you get in here?
My Response: BLANK STARE…followed by a sigh. (I really don’t want to be mean to this person but COME ON REALLY?)
Hater: I mean do you pay a lot?
My Response: BLANK STARE (I’m really shocked. I am also trying to figure out if this person wants help finding a place or if they want to compare/compete with me.) I know a great real estate agent*. Let me know if you want her number.
Hater: Oh please. I’m not a baller like you… (Snickers at their own joke)
My Response: Sorry to hear that….you ready to go?

Needless to say this person has not seen the inside of my home again.

Finally, my favorite critic from the article “The Competitive critic.” This is the critic that I am sad to say I have the most interactions with. This is the person that you get along with, have fun with, but then all of a sudden, out of no where, they hate on you. You purchase a new car…they find some way to say how their car is better. You get a new job…they some how find a way to tell you that one day you’ll get a job like they will. To be honest and truthful, this person is not faring any better than you in life. If they were, you would know it, and they wouldn’t have to brag. Looking at the grand picture…why are you competing against anyone….in LIFE? Competition is great…as long as you are actually in a competition. But the last time I checked…the only one keeping score on life is God. So I repeat…why are they competing with you?

Now say this loud and proud: I do things to make myself happy. I do it at the pace which pleases me. My decisions are based on my needs and my family’s needs. My thought process when making a decision does not include you. Okay hater??

Feel better right? Well heck I do! LOL

The article says to confront the Competitive Critic and ask them if they are truly happy for you. I disagree here. Chances are if you are reading this blog…you are no dummy (shameless branding). You know they are not happy for you. Instead, I would simply reply “I’m happy with my choice” and leave it at that.

Phew! That was a lot of negativity to handle in one day. Some final thoughts for all of you B.on a B’s out there:

1. Recognize hate. Acknowledge that your FRIENDS may be the ones hating on you. Use your discretion. Figure out if this person is truly a friend. They may be good people but are projecting their insecurities on to you for the moment. Your response should then be aimed at the root of the problem.

2. Validate yourself at home. Make sure you know what your strengths are. You will always be affected by haters if you are unsure of yourself. Before you walk out the door make sure you are confident about all aspects of you.

3. Hang around movers and shakers. I sound like my mom here. You are truly what your friends are. If they are going places and not afraid to take risks. You will be motivated to do the same. (Quick acknowledgement to my friends, grain, sorors, and family. you guys are the best lol)

4. Don’t become a hater. If you recognize any of those hater comments coming out of your mouth…STOP and apologize immediately. Then go and figure out what is truly the problem.

5. Everything isn’t hate. The truth hurts. Evaluate what was said and see if it has the ring of truth. Even if it was said harshly. It may be poorly conveyed constructive criticism. “You’re breath stinks” is not hate. “You failed” is not hate. “You’re not that pretty”…ding ding ding HATE! See the difference? (if you didn’t…the keywords there are “not that”)


I leave you with my favorite and most uncanny response to hate comes from the movie Pirates of the Caribbean”

Guardsmen: Jack Sparrow! You have got to be the worst pirate I have ever heard of! (Scoffs)
Johnny Depp: (with a real slick tone to his voice) Oh but you have heard of me…


LOL! Stay relevant!

TTFN