So this is my fault?

First and foremost...FORGIVE ME. I should not have left you without at least a word, a smoke signal, a sign that I was alive and doing well.

It's not that I haven't had the impetus to write. Quite the contrary! I have been wanting to write, to speak, to release about so many things.

Unfortunately, that means I need to unload in random!

So here it goes. The top topics that are on my mind at a given time.

1. Why is knowledge so liberating and yet such a burden. My mom always told me "If you know better, do better". But lately I can't fight the desire to leave people to their own devices. Why do I have to know better? I am glad that I am educated, have a strong sense of self, and enough confidence for two people (so I've been told). But why do those who have yet to take advantage of their potential become my burden? Before you call me obnoxious or the like...Think about it. This has probably happened to you. Do you ever find yourself making decisions for other people on the road? Coercing them to do the right thing? Like getting over so that they can stop riding your tail. Or slowing down so that they can feel comfortable that you are not racing them?

Do you ever find yourself in an almost empty clothing store and then someone comes and stands behind you and stares aimlessly as you make your choice and then when you walk away they select the same item?

Although sometimes its okay, don't you hate it when someone waits until you say something to declare "That's what I was thinking!" or " Your name here said this so...."

As of late, this is getting on my last nerve. Why are people afraid to speak, think, or choose for themselves? What happened to individuality and KNOWLEDGE of self? Did the economy damage our self esteem to the point where we wait for someone else to tell us what to think? Or is it me? Is it my fault that I am just discovering that so many people are suffering of GROUP THINK? That I am just figuring out that the world is High School?

2. It must be my age but I am starting to detest gossip. This past weekend so many people have asked me about my private life and the private life of my family that I feel like I am being watched. Usually, I would just chalk this up to paranoia but when your fear is confirmed saying that I am paranoid is null and void. In the words of W. Williams "I'm relevant".

3. Circuit City's out of business sale was bananas b-a-n-a-n-a-s! I almost got the Zune I wanted but sadly...it was putrid pink. Thank goodness because I don't need nor want a pink Zune.

4. Negativity is negative. Meaning it takes away from something. I need to keep everything that is positive in my life. So I have begun to tell people "YOU KEEP IT". Keep your negativity, spite, and malicious thoughts...I don't need it. But thanks.

5. A sense of humor has gotten me through so much. If I am laughing (LOL) just let me.

6. I have a strange ear. Figuratively, I like what I like. Sometimes I like songs for weird moments or just the beat alone.

7. CAKEMAN RAVEN ROCKS.

8. I need tinted windows. This is going to happen soon. I don't know why I didn't just get them when I bought the car. SIGH.

9. I now understand why celebrities wear shades. Some moments, even in public, are private.

10. Judgement should be reserved for God.

Thank you and good night!

Late Discoveries

I love to discover new things in old things. Whether it's a musical artist I've never heard, a restaurant I've never tried, or a part in a movie that I may have missed the first time, it brings me great joy to stumble upon these plain sight treasures.

So today I am stuck in bed courtesy of the flu and rather than let my migraine, aches and pains, stuffy nose, and fatigue get to me, I am going to list some of the wonderful late discoveries that bring me joy. :-)

1. The Dark Knight. Okay so this is one of the best Batman movies ever. I went to see this movie the first day it was out and sat and watched the movie from start to finish without taking my eyes off the screen. So when I rented it this weekend, I was surprised when I noticed something that I didn't catch the first time I saw the movie. I am referring to the scene where the Joker is heading to the hospital to turn Harvey Dent into a bad guy. The Joker is dressed in a nurse's uniform (which was hilarious) and sits next to Harvey. The Joker gives this "apology" for blowing up his girlfriend Rachel and launches into a convincing argument that leads to Harvey's war path. While he is in mid-rant the camera focuses on the nurse's uniform just enough that you can see that the Joker is wearing a "Vote for Harvey Dent" sticker. This was such a great comedic touch. I'm glad I caught it!

Check out this clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3OueDLQ23o to see what I mean.

2. The Roots. (Dodging Tomatoes and balled up Snickers wrappers...I know I know I'm late). I had a rare opportunity to watch a soul stage marathon on VH1 this week and to my delight I ran into yet another "Late Discovery" the hip hop group The Roots. I have seen a video or two before but I never really experienced their music. They're HOT! I researched the group and learned that they have been out since 1993 or so.

Check them out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7FDUBC40IY

3. Reed Diffusers. Okay so this is the latest craze in the air freshener industry. So I am not entirely late on this one. However, I tried the Bath & Body Works rendition on Reed Diffusers and I was pleasantly surprised. The only major drawback is that after a few days the scent dissipates. I think that the Airwick scents last longer but reed diffusers are a pretty alternative for your office/home.

4. NETFLIX. Okay so I have been a netflix user for a year now. I love it! But I did not realize that there are a plethora of aerobic dvds available. Workout dvds are usually around $15-$20 bucks each. I tend to use them for a month or two and then get tired of the workout. Now that I have learned about Netflix's array of workout videos, I can work out to a different dvd every week for $8 a month.... SORRY BILLY!

TO BE CONTINUED!

Sorry folks, I feel another Tylenol induced slumber coming on.

TTFN

All I want for Christmas

Season's Greetings!

It's been an exciting year filled with so many wonderful happenings. I had a wonderful birthday (just in case you wanted to know). My thanksgiving was pretty low-key yet very enjoyable.

BTW. My financial planning is going extremely well. I am on my way to becoming debt free and more financially stable than ever before. I must say the sacrifice has been just that. However, I'm committed to my choice and I can't wait to experience every success.

So now I am getting ready for Christmas. I love Christmas for so many reasons but my number one reason for loving Christmas is because of what the holiday symbolizes. We give to each other because Jesus' birth gave the ultimate gift to us. And whether or not you believe or if you are of another faith...charity and giving translates into being human.

I give gifts to my nearest and dearest to let them know that I appreciate them and I appreciate their role in my life. I love receiving gifts because of the very same reason. I feel loved, appreciated and cherished.

I remember when I was a very little girl I used to gather all of the Christmas catalogs and select what gifts I wanted most. I would dog ear the page my desired gift was on. Once I selected all of the gifts that I wanted, I created the ultimate wish list. Finally, I would deliver the list to my mom with a broad smile across my face.

My mom would look at the list and smile right back at me. Til this day I haven't perfected an impression of this smile but it clearly conveyed "You adorable child, you'll get many presents but I'll choose them and you will be happy with them because I said so".

And every Christmas, like clockwork...once I saw the gifts that my mom purchased for me I quickly forgot about whatever I had on my list. "How did she always know what to get me?" I finally asked.

She simply replied "I get you something you need, something you want, and something that will last".

After that year, I stopped writing wish lists. I realized that it was limiting and rude. The people who love you most know what you need, what you want and what you will treasure for a lifetime.

So Mom,Dad. Thanks for the unconditional love (something I need), PJ Sparkles, Nintendo, and the pink and white Barbie Dream house with the motorized Purple Mercedes (hey I wanted it), and finally those early morning Saturday courses at CW POST, Latin, the expensive Futurekids computer classes, and the love of learning and growing (tools that will last me a lifetime). I am forever indebted.

Enjoy your holiday :-)

Here is PJ Sparkles. She was the best.

I had the pink and white version but I kid you not I am tearing up looking at the pics. My sister and I spent hours playing with this house. There was plastic food in the refridgerator and everything. The only thing that was weird about the house was that there were no stairs for Barbie to get to the second floor. Weird right? LOL!!

FASHION & POLITICS A brief musing

It’s been forever since we last spoke! I have to admit that my life has been uber busy and hectic as of late. But I thought about you all often.

So what’s new?!

Ahh first and foremost we have a new president elect! I’m elated that America saw it fit to elect such an extraordinary and unique candidate. The icing on the cake is that he and his family are completely in tune with fashion, style, and budgets LOL!

Although Mrs. Obama took a lot of criticism for the November 5th red and black satin dress, she has always done an excellent job with her ensembles. In fact, I am not among those who abhor the outfit. Oh contraire! I like the statement. I would have preferred a different color choice but the texture mix of the dress documents (oh so nicely) what’s going on in America today (fashion and politics an unlikely couple).

Okay, so it’s NOVEMBER, prime fall season. Usually in the fall people lose the vibrant colors in exchange for the rich charcoals, browns, tans, and of course the ominous black. The winter months, due to the climate, encourages conservative color and dress. Out goes the mood lifting yellows, pinks, and pastels. SIGH :-(

But alas, this winter, the powers that be (the almighty fashion designers) saw it fit to inject voluminous color, pattern, and texture into their fall lines. As a result, I have gasped in awe and delight at the vibrant royal blues, plums, golds, suedes, leather, hound’s-tooth, and vivid cranberries I see prancing down the street. I even see pumpkin colored ensembles, and apple green mixes that really pop!

Knits and leopard, Satin and Suede, Paisley and well Paisley have inspired me and kept me in high spirits.

I don’t know who to thank for this perfectly printed fashion world but I embrace the change. It really seems like the masses have let go of the shades of gray and embraced a more liberal styling.

Funny coincidence ay?

Can a perfectionist be an optimist? I’m cautiously optimistic.

I’ve been pretty down lately. The clear signs are my change in eating, exercise habits (or lack thereof), and incessant shopping (lol okay so that might just be me all the time!). I disclosed two blogs ago about something I perceived as a failure and personal flaw. I must admit after I wrote about it I felt great and better about it. But then the symptoms came back. I’m not dieting as I should and I am beating myself up over what I consider a failure. I could just chalk this up to a temporary mood swing except I know better. Something is wrong when I wasn’t able to TRULY enjoy a recent success that I experienced. I’m happy about it, but I am really not basking in the glow of this major success. I’m just okay with it. That’s not like me. I usually celebrate every success just as hard as I worked towards it. Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for that success but something just doesn’t seem right.

The horrible secret everyone has been keeping from me. PAY ATTENTION…Someone might be trying to tell you something.

Like a wet armpit stain on a princess cut, solid colored Express blouse your personality is noticeable. Your friends know the ins and outs of what makes you, you. But very often, they won’t tell you (at least not directly) that there may be something wrong with your personality. Only their reactions to you leave you clues of how you affect people. Positively or negatively. It goes both ways.

CLUE #1 My friends avoid giving me negative feedback like the plague. So afraid of my reaction or relentless effort to “fix it” they simply find positive things to say or say nothing at all. Great friends right?! Yea, I love them a lot. But that’s not conducive to my growth.

CLUE #2 Often, I am told “Wow you put a lot of effort into that…I wasn’t expecting that much.” Or “It doesn’t have to be perfect.” The latter statement irks my inner core. Of course things don’t HAVE to be perfect…but does that mean you don’t try to achieve it (still rolling my eyes).

CLUE#3 I am often given sensitive/detail-oriented projects at work.

CLUE#4 I procrastinate until I know the perfect method of execution.

CLUE#5 My mantra is Go hard or Go Home. All or nothing!

If you haven’t guessed it by now, I’m a textbook perfectionist. Today I typed in perfectionist in Wikipedia and my jaw dropped. Yes I’ve been called a perfectionist before (many times now that I think of it) but never had I really reviewed the true DSM-IV-esque definition of it. I either take it as a compliment or just ignore it completely. This was the horrible secret everyone has been keeping from me-yet hinting at.

Could I be this bad? I don’t find similarities with all of the description but there are many that had the ring of truth. Truthfully, I am still shocked at what I read. I immediately took one of the quizzes the wikipedia entry suggested. The results confirmed my friends’ assertion. I am a (sigh) perfectionist.

What does that mean you say? It means that I am overly critical of myself. I weigh every setback and imperfection as a failure on my part. I am a workaholic. I stress often and plan incessantly. “Go with the flow” is counterintuitive for me. Criticism is a fate worst than death and my standards are high. (taking a deep breath)

But there is a bright side. Oh yes. As much as I am a perfectionist I am a STRONG believer in positive thinking. It is my belief that impossible is just a synonym for difficult. I see great things in everyone I meet even those I can’t stand (very short list). And although I criticize my work/self, I tend to reserve judgment on other people and their decisions.

So here I am a complete and utter paradox in need of some skirts, tops, and a new express blouse (figuratively speaking).

I’ll keep you updated!

Random side note: NEW OUTLET ON LONG ISLAND IN DEER PARK I CAN”T WAIT TO GET OVER THERE! Okay, I’m on a budget so I will wait for some sales.

FACE IT!

FACE IT!

Change is so necessary. The seasons change. People change (when they want to). The world changes. Change is the only constant. So no matter what changes you are going through be sure to put your best face forward. My mom always says…no one should be able to tell what you are going through from the way you look. “Groom for the outcome.”

If you read my last post, you already know that I am positioning myself for a grand outcome (you know me…if it ain’t grand, flashy, and femme…I don’t want it). The sacrifice has been just that, a sacrifice but thanks to reassuring words from loved ones I am gracefully accepting the changes (with a few woe is me moments every now and then!).

But enough about me (I could go on for days if you let me LOL), how are we going to get you ready for this changing season?


Ooo Ooo I know, a FACIAL!! Great skin helps you face anything and with the changing weather now is a good time to get your daily regimen in check.

I found this great article by Jen Adkins about getting ready for the fall. Take a look:

http://skincare.about.com/od/skin101/tp/SkinCareTipsForFall.htm

Our pal Jen gives great advice on skin care. The ten steps are great. Here are the ten tips she gives for great fall skin with the Bourgeoisie on a Budget Product match-up. Enjoy!

1.Reassess Your Body Cleanser. - Basically you shouldn’t smell like Summer Rain in the fall. You also need more moisture. TRY: Aveeno Moisturizing Body Wash. It smells great and feels even better. ALSO TRY: markSanctuary…great stuff!

2.Try an Oil-based scrub. Basically, don’t scrub your skin off. Since you probably need it in the winter. TRT: Warm Spirit Body Scrubs (heaven in a jar) ALSO TRY: PlanetSpa Brown Sugar Body Scrub with Shea Butter (Sheba baby!)

3.Moisturize every single day. This really shouldn’t be a rule. I hope you don’t leave your house ashy. TRY: Vaseline with Cocoa Butter. I love it. ALSO TRY: Vaseline Age Renewal. It smells great.

4.Analyze your skin. Your skin type changes with the weather. Duh?! TRY: Neutrogena skin products. They have a great range ALSO TRY: Avon by Shola…There is a feature on the Anew Skincare page that picks skin care products specifically for you and all you do is answer a few questions.

5.Organize your Skincare. Great job with this one Jen! Buying a line of products helps you to organize your skin care. Don’t exfoliate too much! Face masks once a week! TRY: Avon Professional line which is reasonably priced. ALSO TRY: Ambi line of products.

6.Don’t forget Sunscreen. In case you didn’t know the sun doesn’t go away in the fall. TRY: MAC foundation with SPF in it…I heart MAC but I sleep with a PC. J (No really as of late…with all the work that I have been doing…my laptop has been snuggling up next to me at night).

7.Remember Your Feet. There is usually an email that goes around during the spring that warns women (especially) about taking care of their feet before wearing sandals. It’s funny and all but I wonder why wait until spring? Why just women? Usually it’s easy to neglect your feet when they are stuffed in stockings and/or socks but try to avoid it. Save money by maintaining your pedicure at home and going maybe once a month to the salon. Get a sheer polish so that it is easier to maintain (less noticeable chips). Put a pumice stone in the shower. They shouldn’t cost more than a $1 (see your favorite 99 cent store). Well maintained feet = less runs in stockings from sharp toes. Tee hee!

8.Invest in Cuticle Oil. (Running out to get some today!)

9.Ditch the Pastel Polish. TRY: A sheer plum. Plum is the new red…so I hear.

10.Indulge in a New Hand Cream. This tip should read: “Head to Bath & Body Works, savings pass in hand and rack up on Midnight Pomegranate, Japanese Cherry Blossom, and the like” Get the crèmes and body soufflé’s. They also have lots of stuff for the men. Got to love a man with manicured and moisturized hands.

And that is all.

And now for my favorite quote “Love. Live Life. Pro-ceed. Pro-gress.” –Lil Wayne.

I heart you all. I really do. Thanks for reading.

TTFN!

Taking a Step Back in order to Leap Forward

Runners do it. Why can’t I?

I mentioned to you all that I have a background in management and according to my last performance review I’m pretty great at it. There’s just one problem. My extremely organized and logical approach to my work and my other passions (marketing, etc.) does not always translate into other aspects of my life.

Let me give you an example of my latent OCD. I get about 100 emails per day. That’s just the nature of my job. Despite that, my inbox remains clean. Not one email stays in my inbox for over 5-10mins. I triage each email into one of several folders. I then assign it a priority color code. All red items are handled within the hour. Blue Items I am waiting on a response from someone else before I can answer and Orange Items are FMI (just for my information). I archive each week and respond even if it is to say “Report complete.” Or a simple “Confirmed.” This creates a record that I have completed everything that I was supposed to do for this particular case/issue. So in the event (because it happens so often) that I need to provide a status I can type in “confirmed” or “complete” and everything I have done for the week pops up.

I share this with you not for you to laugh at me (although I am sure you are anyway. it’s okay), but to convey that when it comes to work and my passions I am meticulous. And when it comes to everything else, I am completely relaxed.

So what’s the problem you ask?

Finances. My dear Watson. Finances.

I take extreme care with Other People’s Money and I am COMPLETELY relaxed when it comes to large ticket items (car, apartment, etc.). This is part of the reason that I created Bourgeoisie on a Budget. My goal is to continue to live well using less and helping others to do the same. Simply put, I want to eat my cake, save some for later, and sell the rest for a reasonable profit.

These past few weeks, I have seriously examined my expenditures in comparison to my life goals. My findings? I am accepting less, not SERIOUSLY working towards my dream of more, because of my fear of sacrifice. Confused? Let me clarify point by point.

I AM ACCEPTING LESS

Taking anything that is less than your ideal is accepting less. It is okay to do it temporarily but getting caught in the cycle of accepting less than what you really want/need is counterproductive and addictive. (I’m tempted to give relationship advice here but since I do not have the appropriate degree, and it’s completely off subject…I will happily refrain.)

NOT SERIOUSLY WORKING TOWARDS MY GOAL OF MORE

By accepting less, I am not saving towards the more that I require out of life. It’s like buying a closet full of Baker’s when what you really wanted was a pair of Manolo’s. If you would have stopped buying all that Baker’s (or bought one pair) and saved the rest of your income…you probably could have gotten what you initially wanted. (I am not opposed to Baker’s people I just needed a plausible analogy). Furthermore, by limiting yourself to Baker’s and only shopping there… you are not keeping track of you initial goal and you lose the opportunity to get the Manolo’s on sale at Bluefly!

So what’s a girl to do?

Well, first I called my financial advisor (I’m so happy she remembered that I was alive!) and came clean. I told her what my goals were and she promised to help me reach them. I plan to meet with her in two weeks. By then I am supposed to have a fully worked out budget to propose to her. I received in the mail two days after our chat, a wonderful worksheet that will help me put together my budget.

Second, I made a drastic move. Literally, I got rid of my biggest liability (and one of my biggest joys) in order to realize my personal financial goal. While tears, extreme pouting, and worrying were apart of the transition, I knew this was a necessary change that I had to make. If something is not contributing to your goals, it may very well be an obstacle. And if it is an obstacle you need to remove it.

Third, after I finish posting this blog…I am going to research every step it takes to get to my goal. This will serve as my check list to success.

Side Note: Since my drastic move was bound to make some people criticize my decision, I didn’t tell many people. Sometimes a random opinion can keep you from doing what is necessary. An opinion is exactly what it is…nothing more. Sometimes I forget that.

While shopping the other day (don’t worry it was for necessities AND I had a savings pass!), I thought about the Olympics track and field events. I remember watching each runner go through their own funny routine before they got “on their mark”. Every runner did it. Every runner had their own routine and could care less that the world was watching them shake their leg three times, roll their head from side to side, take a step back and then flail their arms front and back. And although, it was funny to watch, no one laughs. No one laughs because the understanding is that the runner is preparing for the race of their life. So who the hell cares what they need to do before hand to get ready for it. All that matters is the success waiting at the end of the race.

Make your sacrifices without others in mind...ALL THAT MATTERS is the success at the end of the race.

TTFN!