Estelle Getty, Sophia from the Golden Girls, passes away at 84.

Here is a link to the article. I have fond childhood memories of watching The Golden Girls with my mom and sister. I still quote her character's catch phrase "Picture it, Sicily, 1942" and watch reruns when they air on the Lifetime network.

Getty made a true impact on me. Her life is an example that it is never to late in life follow your dreams and be succesful.

Ms. Getty we will miss you terribly!

Are you there God? It's me Sholly

I always look forward to my annual sorority beach party. The food is always delicious and the festivities always leave me in high spirits. This year I bought a friend with me to experience the fabulosity (love you Kimora! NH) that is the beach party. We planned to meet at noonish and head to the fest. My morning preparations could not have gone more smoothly. I planned to wear my favorite halter top swimsuit (as if I was going to get my freshly coiffed bob wet. ::scoff:: ) and over the suit I wore a great sand colored dress. In my Barbados Souvenir beach bag I packed:

-Sunscreen (Mary Kay has the best. second only to Avon but I’m biased lol)
-SSS bug spray (to keep the beach mosquitoes away)
- Anne Rice novel (I have to read this for book club)
- Uno Cards (for a mean game of drunken uno)
- Candy land beach towel (Very Retro-Sheik)
- Blue print Maxi Dress- Ladies if you don’t have at least 3 in your closet you really need to step your game up http://www.bluefly.com/ or http://www.victoriasecret.com/ or http://www.newportnews.com/ ) Maxis are the easiest dresses to rock with a pair of old Golden girls sun glasses and a pair of chancletas (sp??). Chancletas is onomatopoeia for flip flops or any noisy flat shoe. Named for the noise they make when you walk Chan-Cleta Chan-Cleta Chan-Cleta LOL
- Neutrogena Moisture Shine Glimmer 15 with SPF 20 (this lip gloss is popping! Stay tuned for my top lip gloss under $20 list)

I also brought with me six bags of ice and two large bottles of Arbor Mist to add to the festivities (didn’t have time to make my famous Strawberry Fruit Punch Margaritas).

So I get to the beach fashionably late as only I can do (4 hours late to be exact) and to my utter surprise all of the parking fields are closed except for Field #1. The party was closest to Field #5.

“Oh Dear..” I exclaimed. I didn’t want to alarm my guest so I added “Oh well Field 1 can’t be that far from Field 5. Up for a quick work out before we get there?”

“Not a problem.” He says. (What a great person I thought).

We drive to field 1 and low and behold. I couldn’t be any more wrong! We drove for a good 10 minutes with quite a few other cars to finally arrive at field 1.

My guest looked the way I felt…WORRIED. We get up to the parking attendant and ask “How long is the walk?”

The attendant simply replies “I wouldn’t do it.”

So with an awkward silence in the air I park the car closest to the direction of Field 5. I slowly turned to my guest with a classic damsel in distress look (and very genuine might I add) on my face and asked “What do you think we should do?”

He responded “Let’s sell the ice for a ride.” After we chucked about that he said “we can make it”

To that I said “Yes, we can.”

As I opened up the trunk to display the luggage that needed to come with us, I felt despair creeping up behind me. My friend and I divided the bags of ice the best we could. Being an absolute gentleman he insisted on carrying the extra bag with the two bottles of Arbor Mist. Being the perfect lady…I let him LOL

Optimistically, we journeyed off with heavy bags of ice on our shoulders and the blazing sun above us.

The journey began playfully. I mean, what could you do but laugh and poke fun at the situation? It didn’t seem like we would be walking for THAT long and it beat walking in the sand (alternate route that was quickly dismissed). So we made small talk and poked fun at our seemingly hopeless situation.

SIDE BAR: Before you think that the two of us were complete fools. We tried calling for help FIRST to no avail. Only I had service (thank you AT &T).

So we’re walking. And 5 minutes later we are still walking. 10 minutes later we reach a milestone. Oh hey look its Field 2! We’re making progress. My guest turns to me and smiles and says “Your dress is wet.”

“Huh?..Oh WOOOOW!” I replied and looked down at the hem of my dress. The ice was beginning to melt and seep through the bag. I then felt a shockingly cold stream run down my leg on to my foot. My face must have said it all…my guest starts laughing. As he laughs I notice that what he thinks might just be the cold of the ice on his pant leg is actually a pool of water gathering on his pants and shirt. I pointed…. “Look at your pants!” We began to laugh hysterically and managed to keep walking. We’ll be there soon enough.

Well 10 minutes turned into 20 minutes and all of a sudden we spot a deer crossing the road toward us!

“WTH?! Yo! Is that a deer? Wait don’t move.” He says.

A deer peeked out of the tall grass and came walking towards us from the other side of the road.

The deer crossed the street (safely thank God) and literally came within two feet of us. And I swear to you that for a quick instant I thought the deer was laughing at us on its way through to the other side of the beach.

“Was that deer laughing at us?” I asked.
“Hush you’re hallucinating.”

We pressed on.

Another ten minutes goes by (Yes people we’ve been walking for 30 mins) We get to Field 3. We saw a bus parked just a few steps ahead.

“Hey maybe we can catch the bus to Field 5!” I exclaimed and walked briskly to the bus.
When I got there I asked in the sweetest voice I could muster and asked the bus driver “Sir, do you go past field 5 by any chance…Can you take us?”

The bus driver looked at me as if it was the 50’s and said “I don’t go that way!” and shut the door. This was quite interesting because the driver was of Hispanic descent.

“Hey how long is it to Field 5?” we asked another field attendant.

“Another 2 ½ miles” he said then added “I wouldn’t lie to you” after he saw the look of shock on our faces.

We pressed on.

“My arms hurt” said my guest.

“Let me hold something else.” I offered. I took one of the bottles of Arbor mist and placed it on top of the melting ice. Both my right leg and his left were wet from melted ice.

Then out of no where the sidewalk disappeared. We walked in single file in silence as cars drove past us at 40-50mph. Again, my friend, being the gentlemen that he is kept a watchful eye as my gait kept leading towards walking in the middle of the road.

“Be careful, I don’t want you to get hit.” He said.

“I don’t care! Maybe if they hit me…we’ll get a ride to Field 5.” I whined as I staggered along. I was starting to lose hope but never thought to stop.

Finally I said “Let’s try someone else at the party.” I dropped the bag on the sand/grass and found my cell phone.

Ring Ring. “Hello? Sweetie is that you??? Why are you ditching the party? We’re having fun!”

“HELLLLP ME!!” I screamed “I’m AT THE damn party…been here for the last half hour or so I’m at Field 4 SEND HELP!”

“We’ll be right there!”

I let out a sigh. Help is coming. All I have to do is sit right here and they will come get us in their shiny car with the A/C blasting…OHHH YEAA (in my best Kool-Aid voice. Never drink that stuff it’s poison…just kidding… but no really stay off it people. because I still see the commercials so someone is still buying the stuff).

10 minutes later. Help arrives. But there is just one problem. WHERE IS THE CAR? What’s this? Why no car? Did you really come to save me on foot?

“Oh dear. Are you there God? It’s me…Sholly.”

My help came and they relieved my guest and me of the bags…for which I was COMPLETELY grateful. I didn’t realize how much easier it was to walk without bags of ice strapped to my back.

Finally we made it to Field 5 and low and behold….THEY REOPENED PARKING IN FIELD 5! I think I let out a dirty word or two under my breath and tossed my hair and continued on to the party. I pasted on a smile and helloed and how are you’d my way to the spread of BBQ goods and had a great time.

AND the rest is history. (I got a ride back to the car after the party)

Dear Summer…we always have memorable times!

Special shout out to:

My Angels You two know who you are.
The other half of the dynamic duo. You are the best.
The people on the road who passed us smiling waaaay to hard.
Shout out to the beach staff that opened up the parking at FIELD 5 WHEN WE FINALLY got there. You LINT LICKERS!

My Self-Help Summer...

My Self-Help Summer

Summer is truly here…ask me how I know…go ahead ask me…No silly not because of the weather or the date…I know because I always fall into an introspective mood right around this time. As if the heat and atmosphere know that I need to fall back, regroup and refocus before winter. To satisfy my insatiable desire for self-improvement I have packed my night stand with the following Self-Help Books.

1. How to Talk with Practically Anybody about Practically Anything by Barbara Walters

Rationale: When I speak, people understand me or at least they appear to. However, I really would like to be able to have the ability to speak to anyone about anything. There are so many delicate situations and although I have found great ways to get handle them thus far…a few tips from Barb won’t hurt.

2. Why Smart People Do Stupid Things with Money by Bert Whitehead and Andrew Weil



Rationale: So I consider myself one of the smart ones. I do things that make sense and have even led others to the light. My background in business is a great help but sometimes I need help ditching those bad financial habits that I’ve learned from others (not going to say who). It is easy to do what is easy. It’s easy to fall for the tricks and traps of financing and commercial banking. I plan to successfully avoid any further financial traps and set up my financial freedom. Great read thus far.


3. Upstate by Kalisha Buckhannon

Rationale: Okay so if you are one of the swift ones, you are already wondering how this got on my self-help list. This literary journey took me so far away from my small and surmountable daily issues and promptly dropped me off in a peaceful and solution oriented state of mind. As a result of reading this novel, I was enriched. Let me explain. Upstate is a coming of age story set in Harlem but what happens there is something miraculous. Two lovers, both teens, trapped in prison…one prison is the penitentiary and the other prison is poverty. I refuse to spoil what happens but let’s just say this book is worth the ride and REAAALLLY makes you appreciate where you are in life. I closed the book and wiped a tear from my eye and said “Wow, I needed that.”

Next on my summer reading list:
48 Laws of Power (recommended by my sands)

Any other suggestions?


Coming soon (my four mile walk to the beach…)

SUPERMARKET SHUFFLE

So I went running one morning in my favorite park. After a great work out I was starved beyond belief. I decided to make my way to the grocery store to pick some fresh items for a Strawberry Smoothie/Shake. I was looking for what I thought were ordinary ingredients that could be found in any supermarket.

Now, my favorite supermarket is Pathmark followed by Waldbaums (heard they bought out Pathmark…whoopee) and trailing in third, Stop & Shop (they claim to have great prices…still waiting, but I love their organic section).

That being said, Pathmark is about 2-3 miles from my abode and Waldbaums and Stop & Shop were equally far. In my effort to save gas and time, I decided to go to another Supermarket by the name of Associated. Now, usually I wouldn’t even pay attention to this place (I am very loyal to my Pathmark) but it was positioned well between the park and my house so I decided “what the hey?” how bad can it be? It appeared pretty clean from the outside, no block huggers in sight so I parked my car and marched in….

THE ABSOLUTE HORROR!

“What’s that smell?” I say “Has something died in here?” Ohhh nevermind, it was just the smell of fish on ice wafting from the back. I calm down and remind myself that I am only in here for three things: frozen strawberries, frozen (fat-free) yogurt, and some low-cal fruit punch/lemonade.

I walk directly towards the freezers to find the strawberries….What’s this? Where is the frozen fruit? I saw everything from popsicles (not so bad) to frozen quarter waters (thanks mom for never letting me imbibe such a concoction of sugar, water, and food coloring no matter how much I begged). I searched high and low and was beginning to get quite annoyed as I didn’t want to be late to work on account of a smoothie craving.

Letting out an exasperating sigh…I gave up the search for frozen strawberries remembering that I had a small amount left in my own freezer and moved on to frozen yogurt. They have to have frozen yogurt with low sugar/low-cal.

After searching for 3 minutes (mind you the freezer section is not even a full aisle) I was able to find something that resembled low-cal ice cream. Keep in mind there was a plethora of unhealthy choices of ice-cream. There was: Caramel Ice Cream, Chunky Monkey, Neapolitan, Double Chocolate, Rocky Road, etc. Nothing that resembled a …I dunno...Healthy because I want to live to see my grandkids go to college flavor. Okay that was harsh. I love Cookie Dough Ice Cream as much as the next person but I’ve learned that good ol’ Tanqueray motto “Everything in Moderation”. So I save it for my occasional visit to Friendly’s or Cold Stone.

Okay I feel like I’m losing you here…Let me travel back to the story (got to love my tangential excursions).
Fine. So I settle on the bootleg low-cal ice cream and start up the search for low-cal juice. This can’t be too hard I tell myself. Everyone has low-cal juice. Even 7-Eleven has this.

Folks, my dear, dear readers….THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE STORE THEY DO NOT HAVE LOW CAL JUICE.

Are you FRICKING KIDDING ME???????????

I’m not overreacting I tell myself. You are not throwing a Bougie- fit. Okay maybe you ARE throwing a fit but this one is well deserved. How do you call yourself a supermarket without a selection? There is nothing SUPER about you…you IMPOSTER you! You are merely a mini-mart on steroids. I could have saved more time and money for that matter (the ice cream was like $5) by taking the drive to PATHMARK…simply selecting what I wanted and sauntering over to the SELF CHECK OUT and leaving shortly thereafter.

Then it dawned on me…my gripe wasn’t a personal preference issue…what about the people who need sugarless choices. Did no one have Diabetes or high blood pressure in this neighborhood? (Although I wish that were the truth…I know better) Did this supermarket do a census and conclude that they didn’t need to provide healthier options for the people that ventured into this particular store?

And as I continued to wonder…I became angry. How dare you charge people higher prices and offer a very limited selection of food?

I was no longer in a smoothie mood. I put everything back that I picked up and immediately left the store. The neighborhood that the store is in is truly mixed neighborhood both culturally and economically. However, my most educated guess would lead me to believe that (due to its central location) the store is targeted to the economically disadvantaged population in the village. Those that do not read/study labels or do comparison shopping. Those that do not have the leisure of jumping in their car and driving 10 minutes to a better choice. Those who are not focusing on whether or not a food is organic…

Please do not misinterpret me or my intent. I am not asserting that if you don’t have money you’re not smart, or choosy about what you eat. However, I don’t think that those who are watching every dime will take the bus ($4) or cab ($10) to lug groceries back from a not so close market to save 50-100 calories or to forgo trans-fats. Although the benefits are clear to you and I (quality of life, longer life, better health), to those that are less fortunate quantity is better than quality.

I went to work that day silently fuming. I felt like they were slowly poisoning people “in the hood.” However, technically it was not “the hood” but the most central part of town.

Hey man, your diabetes acting up? Have some more Kool-Aid! (Sorry Chris Rock must have possessed me for a moment)

On the way to my office, I usually take the back streets. I counted at least three “Quickie-Marts.” I scoffed. Surely they sold fresh fruit and vegetables in there…yea right.

I knew that this could not be my discovery all alone. For some time I have known that those who are less fortunate and less educated were often given inferior choices. I searched the internet for studies done on the subject and found the following article from the Department of City Planning site.

http://www.nyc.gov/html/dcp/html/supermarket/index.shtml

After reading this article I had a feeling of vindication. So you do know about it Mister Man!

My favorite excerpts from the article are as follows:

“Diabetes now affects over 700,000 people in New York City (type two I’d bet), over 1.1 million New Yorkers are obese, and another 2 million are overweight… Food dollars are likely being spent by residents in high need areas at discount convenience stores whose line of food products is limited, of poor quality, and generally more expensive than the same products sold at supermarkets…”

Overall this leads to “greater incidences of diet related diseases including diabetes and obesity, low consumption of fresh fruits and vegetables by area residents, lost business opportunities, and a diminished quality of life in neighborhoods.”

Now that my assertion was validated by the Department of City Planning….what am I to do create change? My options can include: writing a letter to the store’s HQ, writing a letter to the mayor, starting a petition, boycotting mini-marts that don’t offer healthy choices.

The article suggested that this is a city problem. But what about us suburbanites? We are affected by this too.

One thing is for sure. I will write a proposal to my sorority alumnae chapter to do a community service event that is based on teaching better eating habits. But in the mean time what else can I do…

Ideas? Thoughts?

IT'S A SAVINGS PASS!!

Happy Shopping means I got a discount.

I am guilty of so many things…

1.As of late cheating on my diet with a tortilla chip (it was just one…It shouldn’t count).
2.Watching the entire season of Miss Rap Supreme (see previous post)
3.Sometimes not signaling when I change lanes in BK (but heck no one else does. I know. I know two wrongs...but when in Rome…)
4.Forgetting department store coupons at home!

Now one of these things can be easily rectified….

1.Can’t take that back and I don’t want to!
2.Can’t take that back even though "Chiba" should have won the competition.
3.People drive crazy in the city…and if I need to get the heck out of the way I will. I make no promises.
4.Ding! Ding! Ding! I see B.OnA B. solution coming!

And with that I bring you B.On A B does SHOPPING!

I absolutely hate it when I get into Bed Bath & Beyond and realize I left that 20% coupon at home. I mean how could I? They send dozens of them every week and they never expire (ignore the expiration date…the lovely people at BBB do!).

So what’s a B.onAB to do? Saving is a must…Squandering money went out with chain belts and cat suits at the club or heck anywhere.

Here is my answer to Savvy Shopping!

1.Start with a brand new email address. Call it something you won’t forget later like CouponsforYourNameHere@gmail.com . Go to your favorite store’s websites and sign up for the mailing list using this email address. Be sure to use an easy to remember password.
Rationale: Save your real email address from the weekly email and junk that will definitely be on its way to your address once you sign up.

2.Sign up for the free rewards program…WARNING-Free rewards programs try to get you to buy frequently (duh) ….Keep your eye on the prize…the coupons that will come in the mail or to your inbox. For example, DSW’s rewards program…you have to buy 8 pairs of shoes (last time I checked) before you get the free pair BUT in the mean time they send you 20% off coupons regularly.

3.See a coupon that fits your exact need/want? PRINT IT OUT RIGHT AWAY…Don’t wait (don’t get fired doing it either). Waiting is going to cause you to forget about it. Print it out right away, cut it neatly (if necessary), fold it, and place it in your wallet! So when you go to pay at the register…AHA! You have a coupon.

4.Shop when you are ready!!! Learn the cycle. For example, every month or so Macy’s has a ONE DAY SALE…missed it this month? So what? It’s coming again. If you can wait you can save.

5.Be nice to the sales reps. You should always be nice, but you should be especially nice when you are shopping. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve gotten an “inside tip” on a sale coming up. “Don’t buy that honey. It’s going on sale next week!” Remember who helped you as well. You may be asked at the register and your acknowledgement that “___helped me” could mean commission or better hours for that friendly sales rep and savings for you!

6.READ THE FINE PRINT!!! Most times there are conditions on the bottom of the coupon. Don’t get caught out there…read them and be aware before you have a rude awakening at the counter.

7.Get a personal shopper. It’s free at Lord & Taylor and many other department stores. In the past I have picked out an outfit and gave the rep my credit card info and she rang it up on the day of the sale (saving me 40% at the time). No wait, No fuss! Fabulous!

Final Caveat….Be discreet with your savings pass (read: coupon). Use the correct terminology: at Lord & Taylor it’s a savings pass at NY& Co it’s an online coupon or ring code. Use an indoor tone when you tell the sales rep that you have a discount…it’s YOUR business not everyone else’s. Ask the sales rep “I have this savings pass. Can you apply this to my purchase?” This is a classy way of approaching the situation. And always make sure you can pay full price just in case the coupon doesn’t work. It’s tacky to argue over a COUPON! (I have witnessed this…it’s never a good look). Do the math in your head before you get to the counter.

OH I ALMOST FORGOT. Calculate the amount you saved or just look at the receipt and immediately transfer that amount from your checking to your savings account! You didn’t save anything if you spend it at the food court!

HAPPY SHOPPING!

TTFN.

HI HATER

Every morning I wake up, say my prayers/thanks, brush my teeth, and check my email. I have a few email accounts (as most people do). It is my way of keeping organized. I have hotmail (on MSN) for most of my social correspondence. I have gmail for business. I have my general work email and I have another hotmail address for graphics/website help. Let’s just say when it comes to email…I get it in : - )

I digress. Anyway I always check MSN.com to see what is new in the world. I have to say that http://www.msn.com/ comes up with the most timely articles/discussion topics. I wonder if they are reading my mind and then posting the answer. Hmmm.

Case and point. http://lifestyle.msn.com/mindbodyandsoul/personalgrowth/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=7810919&GT1=32001 (open in a new window to review…there will be a test)

Once again MSN has done it! The topic of our discussion today is dealing with people who try to thwart your B.on a B. spirit. See significant quotes from the article followed by my two cents below:

The Honest Critic. “This is the person that considers it her/his] divine right… to speak the truth at all costs. And you’re not supposed to be offended because this person is just being honest.”

The advice the article gives: This type of person is self-centered, says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., author of It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction. "She says the first thing that pops into her mind — just like a 2-year-old — with no regard for hurt feelings or consequences." Or she's provocative just for effect, hoping to cause a stir by dropping verbal bombs no one else would dream of saying. But here's the rub: Telling this walking sledgehammer that her harsh words hurt your or anyone else's feelings may play right into her need to be the brave truth teller, thus stoking an already inflamed ego. So to call her on her bad behavior, say something like, "I guess I'm one of those people who prefers tact and empathy to 'honesty,'" suggests Tessina.


B.on a B. response: Honesty does not automatically equal truth. It never did. I have met many people that use this excuse. They pride themselves in always “keeping it real/realistic” as if their opinion is gospel truth. The sad part is they never do it with themselves. So your honesty is just for me? Why thanks…you shouldn’t have…no really you keep it.

Hater says: “You look fat/too skinny/funny/silly in that dress”
My response: “I look great but if you’d try it on, you wouldn’t look right which is why you’re upset. Don’t worry I understand”
Hater says…who the hell cares what the hater said because I’ve already walked away or averted my attention to something more important.

Next up the “Change-Averse Critic”. I would actually like to change the name of this hater. I hereby rename “Change-Averse Critic”….wait for it…. “The I’m stupid, uncreative, fruitless, and otherwise a loser and I want company…come join me Hater”. (takes a deep breath) also known as the “How’d you get that” hater.

Here’s what the article says... With this type of critic, there are usually two underlying issues at play — fear and a need for control. "They're afraid of the unknown and of not being in charge of their surroundings, so they end up projecting those fears onto everybody else," explains Tessina. Your idea might also make this critic realize her life isn't all she wants it to be, so she/he tries to hold you back along with her/him.


B.on a B. response: I hate this hater! Can you tell? Okay. Okay. Strongly dislike. I recently ran into said hater a year ago. This person was in my place of residence (which is a big deal because I usually don’t let haters in the house…but who knew that person was a hater. Go figure) for all of five seconds before they said, “How much do you pay for this? How did you get in here?

PAUSE. I need a moment to breathe. Exhale. Okay. Let’s proceed.

Hater: How much do you pay for this? How did you get in here?
My Response: BLANK STARE…followed by a sigh. (I really don’t want to be mean to this person but COME ON REALLY?)
Hater: I mean do you pay a lot?
My Response: BLANK STARE (I’m really shocked. I am also trying to figure out if this person wants help finding a place or if they want to compare/compete with me.) I know a great real estate agent*. Let me know if you want her number.
Hater: Oh please. I’m not a baller like you… (Snickers at their own joke)
My Response: Sorry to hear that….you ready to go?

Needless to say this person has not seen the inside of my home again.

Finally, my favorite critic from the article “The Competitive critic.” This is the critic that I am sad to say I have the most interactions with. This is the person that you get along with, have fun with, but then all of a sudden, out of no where, they hate on you. You purchase a new car…they find some way to say how their car is better. You get a new job…they some how find a way to tell you that one day you’ll get a job like they will. To be honest and truthful, this person is not faring any better than you in life. If they were, you would know it, and they wouldn’t have to brag. Looking at the grand picture…why are you competing against anyone….in LIFE? Competition is great…as long as you are actually in a competition. But the last time I checked…the only one keeping score on life is God. So I repeat…why are they competing with you?

Now say this loud and proud: I do things to make myself happy. I do it at the pace which pleases me. My decisions are based on my needs and my family’s needs. My thought process when making a decision does not include you. Okay hater??

Feel better right? Well heck I do! LOL

The article says to confront the Competitive Critic and ask them if they are truly happy for you. I disagree here. Chances are if you are reading this blog…you are no dummy (shameless branding). You know they are not happy for you. Instead, I would simply reply “I’m happy with my choice” and leave it at that.

Phew! That was a lot of negativity to handle in one day. Some final thoughts for all of you B.on a B’s out there:

1. Recognize hate. Acknowledge that your FRIENDS may be the ones hating on you. Use your discretion. Figure out if this person is truly a friend. They may be good people but are projecting their insecurities on to you for the moment. Your response should then be aimed at the root of the problem.

2. Validate yourself at home. Make sure you know what your strengths are. You will always be affected by haters if you are unsure of yourself. Before you walk out the door make sure you are confident about all aspects of you.

3. Hang around movers and shakers. I sound like my mom here. You are truly what your friends are. If they are going places and not afraid to take risks. You will be motivated to do the same. (Quick acknowledgement to my friends, grain, sorors, and family. you guys are the best lol)

4. Don’t become a hater. If you recognize any of those hater comments coming out of your mouth…STOP and apologize immediately. Then go and figure out what is truly the problem.

5. Everything isn’t hate. The truth hurts. Evaluate what was said and see if it has the ring of truth. Even if it was said harshly. It may be poorly conveyed constructive criticism. “You’re breath stinks” is not hate. “You failed” is not hate. “You’re not that pretty”…ding ding ding HATE! See the difference? (if you didn’t…the keywords there are “not that”)


I leave you with my favorite and most uncanny response to hate comes from the movie Pirates of the Caribbean”

Guardsmen: Jack Sparrow! You have got to be the worst pirate I have ever heard of! (Scoffs)
Johnny Depp: (with a real slick tone to his voice) Oh but you have heard of me…


LOL! Stay relevant!

TTFN

Will the female Kanye stand up?!

So yes I admit it. I watch Miss Rap Supreme. Sigh (That was hard for me to do). But I have very good reason to. As a fan of hip hop (not a full out fanatic. READ: not like the people who recite rhymes while walking down the street...FOR THOSE PEOPLE: YOU LOOK CRAZY DOING THAT..STOP IT) I would really like to see a talented female MC step up to the plate. Scratch that...I would really like to see a talented well dressed female MC step up to the plate. Sorrowfully, I have not found that in Miss Rap Supreme. As a result, I am now looking for potential. I'm looking for someone they can take to Nordstrom or Bloomies and come out with a female Kanye West. That someone should also have the talent to stand up to the lyrics of the Kanye's, the Lupe's, and so forth. Now, please don't mistake my intent. There are a lot of great female rappers..(I've always liked Foxy, Lyte,Lauryn Hill, Latifah, and even Remy Ma's battles etc.) and I don't aim to insult any of them. I just want more. Or maybe I want less. I want more and less!

Less (in no particular order):

• Gimmicky clothing (lots are guilty)
• Weird hair (Kim I love you but that means you)
• Bright/tacky color combinations
• brand name dropping (especially if you are not going to wear it right)
• wacked out stylists!
• Weak Rhymes
• SEX...stop talking about body parts...when i first encountered the words Ill Nana, it really made me sick : -(

More (again in no particular order):

• metaphors
• story telling (quick acknowledgement to Eve..I did like that Love is Blind song and Kim)
• Believable and blended weaves
• grown up voices ( I cannot listen to the high pitched chipmunk on a record effect)
• Clothes...actual clothes not contraptions. Stop shopping at Vicki's for everything...visit the other stores in the mall. Would it kill you to stroll in Lord & Taylor's?
• songs about anything other than sex, Gucci (usually rhymed with...oh well you know), and/or Prada

The truth is any natural born female has a (rhymes with Gucci) and if she really wanted a Gucci (I mean a bag this time) she could run to the store (given she has the cash) and purchase one. But not every female can step up to a mic in a crowded room and completely move an audience with her lyrics, style and presence. Even if she had all the money in the world.

I know that the rap industry is male dominated and at times sexist but there has to be a greater need (greater than mine) to hear a female rapper that has something inspiring to say.

So far on Miss Rap Supreme, I like Chiba and Reece. However, they fall into the problem of being poorly presented. Chiba needs a stylist that will give her more of a mature look. She can still be sexy just not so overt. Reece is cool too she just needs someone to tone down the platinum blond, give her a precision cut, and arch her brows. Then Wa-la Fabulous!

As an admitted optimist, I hope these two (as well as the other women) are transformed. They all have potential but they are rough around the edges image wise. A little consultation with a true stylist (whose repertoire does not include the Barnum & Bailey Circus) and a touch of charm school and these ladies could truly be what the industry needs more of.

TTFN! (ta ta for now)

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