Ahhhh and in comes the Spring... 10 things needed to enjoy it to the fullest

Hello my dears! I hope life is treating you well. Last week we ushered in Spring and bid a farewell to an eventful winter. And while the weather is still quite frigid (at least in NY)...change caresses my face with every sun kissed breeze.

Here are 10 B.On.A.B ways to bring in the Spring with a bang!

1. Get a Bright New Smile. Coffee and winter foods stain the teeth. Be sure to visit the dentist and snag a tube of Crest Extra Whitening paste.

2. If you are trying to get in shape for the coming summer months, set realistic goals/expectations for weight loss. Meet with your doctor, personal trainer, and or nutritionist at least once to set you on the right path. Don't overdo it!

3. Take advantage of online savings passes and free shipping offers. Monitor prices and weigh your options. Chances are you will find great deals on the clearance page of your favorite store's website. Add in a savings pass for even more savings!

Great online stores: http://www.piperlime.com/ , http://www.shopbop.com/ , and of course http://www.bluefly.com/ .

4. Make sure your Spring ensembles have the three essentials: FIT, FLARE, and COLOR!! While the winter season was all about texture and coordination...the Spring season is all about FFC.

Fit- Adjust your wardrobe and make sure it still fits and flatters your body. If it doesn't, launder it and donate it to charity!

Flare- Flare is so essential. The easiest way to ad flare is to wear a bold accessory that makes the outfit pop!. A great set of bangles, an ornate ring, or a pair of exotic earrings can spice up an outfit and make it look brand new.

CAVEAT: Be sure to focus on one accessory per outfit (until you become a pro). Matching sets are okay most of the time but make sure your accessories don't detract or over power the ensemble. (Photo Credit: Seth Wenig/Associated Press)

Color- Google the "color wheel/spectrum" and find out what colors naturally complement each other. If you are color clueless, try adding in one bold color to a monotone outfit before getting into color/pattern combos. For those with a little more savvy, find a bottom that has a trendy pattern and match it with a top that is the same color of the color that is least used in the pattern.

Check out this cool outfit from Banana Republic. It totally has FFC. Notice how the blazer isn't too tight. Be sure to buy a blazer one size up if you plan to layer and to avoid the muscle arm look. Notice how the model is able to roll up her sleeves and make this work-appropriate look a bit more casual. The flare comes in with the accessories...the belt and cashmere scarf. Small touches like a funky scarf or belt can really pull an outfit together. Finally, the burst of color...Banana Republic calls this bright delight: BLUE HEAVEN...Amen to that!

5. Change your space!!! Whether its a new living room layout or moving the angle of your computer at work, try to de clutter and rearrange. Need some inspiration? Visit http://www.hgtv.com/

6. GET OUT! It's still pretty chilly but throw on a jacket and get some midday sun (of course you should still be using sunscreen). The sun has mood elevating power. Grab a little sun and a lot of fresh air and boost your mood. It's free!

7. Get PROFESSIONAL HELP! If you've canceled your standing appointment for pedicures since last September...I wouldn't tackle your talons alone. Go get a professional manicure and pedicure and tip your favorite file wielding manicurist!

8. Evaluate your relationships/friendships. Cut any hurtful, negative, or stagnant relationships. Use the improving weather to go out and meet new people. Go network!

9. Organize your budding social calendar. Now of course just about everyone organizes using an electronic device (blackberry..the like) but with all of the technology one yearns for that personal touch. Paper and pen gives a personal touch and a realistic visual of your daily tasks. Not to mention it makes a fabu vintage fashion statement. Snag a suede journal and make a TO Do list or grab a beautiful Franklin agenda from Target. Cheap and printed on recycled paper...It's a win win.

<---Check out this cute journal from Target for $9.99

10. And last but not least. Try something new. No matter what it is..explore life and all it has to offer!

Mwah! TTFN (Tah Tah for now)

Charity On A Budget

It is sooooo imperative to me to make my mark in this world and to positively affect the people that I share this earth with. Sometimes its hard. I have a long list of people that if I had a lapse of judgement I would step on their toe. But I know better. I prefer to let them know that their actions don't rank high with me by not stooping to their level (also a difficult task). I am stubborn and head strong so of course I wouldn't let them sway me from being positive.

Lately, feelings of discontent have been filtering its way into my usually happy demeanor. "What's up?" I silently asked myself.

Digression in 5 4 3 2 1... Late Discovery! Ever take a quick moment to ask yourself why you are feeling the way you are feeling and what's causing the feeling? Taking an extra 5 minutes to ask yourself this question, reveals a whole lot. Call me an overthinker, but as of late, the moment I have a feeling that I don't like, I ask myself these questions. Next thing you know, the feeling has subsided.

Alright, and we're back...

So after thinking about it for an hour or so, I realized that I have been upset because one of my major goals is currently and temporarily impeded. This has left me feeling discouraged, disheartened and frankly ungrateful. Why is it that when you have a goal in mind and can't achieve it right away, all of your other accomplishments take a back seat...almost as if they don't exist. Such a tragedy.

I decided that it was time to refocus and channel my energies towards what I can accomplish right now...being a positive influence in the world that I live in. I devote several hours a week to community service through an international service organization. By forwarding the efforts of this organization I am able to make an impact on the local community. However, I feel the need to magnify my efforts. There is nothing like helping someone else in need to make you appreciate what and how much you have.

There are so many people that have been long affected by poverty and misfortune way before the economy fell. There is no better way to refocus my energy and life strategy then to turn down the volume on my concern for my own welfare and worry about something greater than myself.

I took my usual approach to achieving this goal:


1. Brainstorm
2. Organize
3. Set the Goal
4. Come up with a Strategy
5. Execute
6. Review and Regroup

Brainstorm- I pondered, and came up with a short list of issues that I wanted to impact positively. They include:

-Poverty In America- I never understood how the U.S. government sends so much aid to other countries and there are people in need right here. I know they must help out as a world power and I totally agree with that, but there is so much that can be done in our own backyard.

-HIV/AIDS. Somehow, I naiively thought that the stats on new cases have gone down tremendously. Silly me. They're still climbing. Women, men and children are dying from this disease in alarming rates. I am shocked that we are still on this "They look clean" sham.

- Obesity- This is a killer and so many people don't know realize it. I'm down to aid awareness any way I can.

-Energy Conservation- with all of the going green efforts, do I really need to say more?

-Africa- Specifically, Nigeria, Although I wasn't born there, I would like to do more for the country that gave me my father.

So that's my list of areas that I would like to impact.

Organize. Since there are 5 things that I'd like to focus on and 10 months left in the year, I figured I would focus on each goal for two months.

My GOAL: To bring about awareness to each cause and donate (and encourage others) to donate to one (researched) charity that serves that cause.

My Strategy: Utilize facebook and my current networks to magnify my efforts. If I can get one person to match my donation effort...I've doubled the positive impact.

Execute: I will create an informal giving circle (http://nonprofit.about.com/od/fundraising/p/givingcircles.htm)on facebook and right here on BonaB so that anyone who feels a sense of commitment to helping can join!

Review: I will humbly ask that anyone who plans to join me..let me know they are participating so that I can keep a record of how many people supported the cause.

Finally, I am on a budget. I know that I can't cure all of the world's ills. I can only budget $100 to this effort ($10 a month or $20 per cause) but I won't let that stop me from using that extra money to help someone in need and gain a greater sense of self and a greater appreciation for all that God's blessed me with.

Will you join me?

So this is my fault?

First and foremost...FORGIVE ME. I should not have left you without at least a word, a smoke signal, a sign that I was alive and doing well.

It's not that I haven't had the impetus to write. Quite the contrary! I have been wanting to write, to speak, to release about so many things.

Unfortunately, that means I need to unload in random!

So here it goes. The top topics that are on my mind at a given time.

1. Why is knowledge so liberating and yet such a burden. My mom always told me "If you know better, do better". But lately I can't fight the desire to leave people to their own devices. Why do I have to know better? I am glad that I am educated, have a strong sense of self, and enough confidence for two people (so I've been told). But why do those who have yet to take advantage of their potential become my burden? Before you call me obnoxious or the like...Think about it. This has probably happened to you. Do you ever find yourself making decisions for other people on the road? Coercing them to do the right thing? Like getting over so that they can stop riding your tail. Or slowing down so that they can feel comfortable that you are not racing them?

Do you ever find yourself in an almost empty clothing store and then someone comes and stands behind you and stares aimlessly as you make your choice and then when you walk away they select the same item?

Although sometimes its okay, don't you hate it when someone waits until you say something to declare "That's what I was thinking!" or " Your name here said this so...."

As of late, this is getting on my last nerve. Why are people afraid to speak, think, or choose for themselves? What happened to individuality and KNOWLEDGE of self? Did the economy damage our self esteem to the point where we wait for someone else to tell us what to think? Or is it me? Is it my fault that I am just discovering that so many people are suffering of GROUP THINK? That I am just figuring out that the world is High School?

2. It must be my age but I am starting to detest gossip. This past weekend so many people have asked me about my private life and the private life of my family that I feel like I am being watched. Usually, I would just chalk this up to paranoia but when your fear is confirmed saying that I am paranoid is null and void. In the words of W. Williams "I'm relevant".

3. Circuit City's out of business sale was bananas b-a-n-a-n-a-s! I almost got the Zune I wanted but sadly...it was putrid pink. Thank goodness because I don't need nor want a pink Zune.

4. Negativity is negative. Meaning it takes away from something. I need to keep everything that is positive in my life. So I have begun to tell people "YOU KEEP IT". Keep your negativity, spite, and malicious thoughts...I don't need it. But thanks.

5. A sense of humor has gotten me through so much. If I am laughing (LOL) just let me.

6. I have a strange ear. Figuratively, I like what I like. Sometimes I like songs for weird moments or just the beat alone.

7. CAKEMAN RAVEN ROCKS.

8. I need tinted windows. This is going to happen soon. I don't know why I didn't just get them when I bought the car. SIGH.

9. I now understand why celebrities wear shades. Some moments, even in public, are private.

10. Judgement should be reserved for God.

Thank you and good night!

Late Discoveries

I love to discover new things in old things. Whether it's a musical artist I've never heard, a restaurant I've never tried, or a part in a movie that I may have missed the first time, it brings me great joy to stumble upon these plain sight treasures.

So today I am stuck in bed courtesy of the flu and rather than let my migraine, aches and pains, stuffy nose, and fatigue get to me, I am going to list some of the wonderful late discoveries that bring me joy. :-)

1. The Dark Knight. Okay so this is one of the best Batman movies ever. I went to see this movie the first day it was out and sat and watched the movie from start to finish without taking my eyes off the screen. So when I rented it this weekend, I was surprised when I noticed something that I didn't catch the first time I saw the movie. I am referring to the scene where the Joker is heading to the hospital to turn Harvey Dent into a bad guy. The Joker is dressed in a nurse's uniform (which was hilarious) and sits next to Harvey. The Joker gives this "apology" for blowing up his girlfriend Rachel and launches into a convincing argument that leads to Harvey's war path. While he is in mid-rant the camera focuses on the nurse's uniform just enough that you can see that the Joker is wearing a "Vote for Harvey Dent" sticker. This was such a great comedic touch. I'm glad I caught it!

Check out this clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3OueDLQ23o to see what I mean.

2. The Roots. (Dodging Tomatoes and balled up Snickers wrappers...I know I know I'm late). I had a rare opportunity to watch a soul stage marathon on VH1 this week and to my delight I ran into yet another "Late Discovery" the hip hop group The Roots. I have seen a video or two before but I never really experienced their music. They're HOT! I researched the group and learned that they have been out since 1993 or so.

Check them out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7FDUBC40IY

3. Reed Diffusers. Okay so this is the latest craze in the air freshener industry. So I am not entirely late on this one. However, I tried the Bath & Body Works rendition on Reed Diffusers and I was pleasantly surprised. The only major drawback is that after a few days the scent dissipates. I think that the Airwick scents last longer but reed diffusers are a pretty alternative for your office/home.

4. NETFLIX. Okay so I have been a netflix user for a year now. I love it! But I did not realize that there are a plethora of aerobic dvds available. Workout dvds are usually around $15-$20 bucks each. I tend to use them for a month or two and then get tired of the workout. Now that I have learned about Netflix's array of workout videos, I can work out to a different dvd every week for $8 a month.... SORRY BILLY!

TO BE CONTINUED!

Sorry folks, I feel another Tylenol induced slumber coming on.

TTFN

All I want for Christmas

Season's Greetings!

It's been an exciting year filled with so many wonderful happenings. I had a wonderful birthday (just in case you wanted to know). My thanksgiving was pretty low-key yet very enjoyable.

BTW. My financial planning is going extremely well. I am on my way to becoming debt free and more financially stable than ever before. I must say the sacrifice has been just that. However, I'm committed to my choice and I can't wait to experience every success.

So now I am getting ready for Christmas. I love Christmas for so many reasons but my number one reason for loving Christmas is because of what the holiday symbolizes. We give to each other because Jesus' birth gave the ultimate gift to us. And whether or not you believe or if you are of another faith...charity and giving translates into being human.

I give gifts to my nearest and dearest to let them know that I appreciate them and I appreciate their role in my life. I love receiving gifts because of the very same reason. I feel loved, appreciated and cherished.

I remember when I was a very little girl I used to gather all of the Christmas catalogs and select what gifts I wanted most. I would dog ear the page my desired gift was on. Once I selected all of the gifts that I wanted, I created the ultimate wish list. Finally, I would deliver the list to my mom with a broad smile across my face.

My mom would look at the list and smile right back at me. Til this day I haven't perfected an impression of this smile but it clearly conveyed "You adorable child, you'll get many presents but I'll choose them and you will be happy with them because I said so".

And every Christmas, like clockwork...once I saw the gifts that my mom purchased for me I quickly forgot about whatever I had on my list. "How did she always know what to get me?" I finally asked.

She simply replied "I get you something you need, something you want, and something that will last".

After that year, I stopped writing wish lists. I realized that it was limiting and rude. The people who love you most know what you need, what you want and what you will treasure for a lifetime.

So Mom,Dad. Thanks for the unconditional love (something I need), PJ Sparkles, Nintendo, and the pink and white Barbie Dream house with the motorized Purple Mercedes (hey I wanted it), and finally those early morning Saturday courses at CW POST, Latin, the expensive Futurekids computer classes, and the love of learning and growing (tools that will last me a lifetime). I am forever indebted.

Enjoy your holiday :-)

Here is PJ Sparkles. She was the best.

I had the pink and white version but I kid you not I am tearing up looking at the pics. My sister and I spent hours playing with this house. There was plastic food in the refridgerator and everything. The only thing that was weird about the house was that there were no stairs for Barbie to get to the second floor. Weird right? LOL!!

FASHION & POLITICS A brief musing

It’s been forever since we last spoke! I have to admit that my life has been uber busy and hectic as of late. But I thought about you all often.

So what’s new?!

Ahh first and foremost we have a new president elect! I’m elated that America saw it fit to elect such an extraordinary and unique candidate. The icing on the cake is that he and his family are completely in tune with fashion, style, and budgets LOL!

Although Mrs. Obama took a lot of criticism for the November 5th red and black satin dress, she has always done an excellent job with her ensembles. In fact, I am not among those who abhor the outfit. Oh contraire! I like the statement. I would have preferred a different color choice but the texture mix of the dress documents (oh so nicely) what’s going on in America today (fashion and politics an unlikely couple).

Okay, so it’s NOVEMBER, prime fall season. Usually in the fall people lose the vibrant colors in exchange for the rich charcoals, browns, tans, and of course the ominous black. The winter months, due to the climate, encourages conservative color and dress. Out goes the mood lifting yellows, pinks, and pastels. SIGH :-(

But alas, this winter, the powers that be (the almighty fashion designers) saw it fit to inject voluminous color, pattern, and texture into their fall lines. As a result, I have gasped in awe and delight at the vibrant royal blues, plums, golds, suedes, leather, hound’s-tooth, and vivid cranberries I see prancing down the street. I even see pumpkin colored ensembles, and apple green mixes that really pop!

Knits and leopard, Satin and Suede, Paisley and well Paisley have inspired me and kept me in high spirits.

I don’t know who to thank for this perfectly printed fashion world but I embrace the change. It really seems like the masses have let go of the shades of gray and embraced a more liberal styling.

Funny coincidence ay?

Can a perfectionist be an optimist? I’m cautiously optimistic.

I’ve been pretty down lately. The clear signs are my change in eating, exercise habits (or lack thereof), and incessant shopping (lol okay so that might just be me all the time!). I disclosed two blogs ago about something I perceived as a failure and personal flaw. I must admit after I wrote about it I felt great and better about it. But then the symptoms came back. I’m not dieting as I should and I am beating myself up over what I consider a failure. I could just chalk this up to a temporary mood swing except I know better. Something is wrong when I wasn’t able to TRULY enjoy a recent success that I experienced. I’m happy about it, but I am really not basking in the glow of this major success. I’m just okay with it. That’s not like me. I usually celebrate every success just as hard as I worked towards it. Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for that success but something just doesn’t seem right.

The horrible secret everyone has been keeping from me. PAY ATTENTION…Someone might be trying to tell you something.

Like a wet armpit stain on a princess cut, solid colored Express blouse your personality is noticeable. Your friends know the ins and outs of what makes you, you. But very often, they won’t tell you (at least not directly) that there may be something wrong with your personality. Only their reactions to you leave you clues of how you affect people. Positively or negatively. It goes both ways.

CLUE #1 My friends avoid giving me negative feedback like the plague. So afraid of my reaction or relentless effort to “fix it” they simply find positive things to say or say nothing at all. Great friends right?! Yea, I love them a lot. But that’s not conducive to my growth.

CLUE #2 Often, I am told “Wow you put a lot of effort into that…I wasn’t expecting that much.” Or “It doesn’t have to be perfect.” The latter statement irks my inner core. Of course things don’t HAVE to be perfect…but does that mean you don’t try to achieve it (still rolling my eyes).

CLUE#3 I am often given sensitive/detail-oriented projects at work.

CLUE#4 I procrastinate until I know the perfect method of execution.

CLUE#5 My mantra is Go hard or Go Home. All or nothing!

If you haven’t guessed it by now, I’m a textbook perfectionist. Today I typed in perfectionist in Wikipedia and my jaw dropped. Yes I’ve been called a perfectionist before (many times now that I think of it) but never had I really reviewed the true DSM-IV-esque definition of it. I either take it as a compliment or just ignore it completely. This was the horrible secret everyone has been keeping from me-yet hinting at.

Could I be this bad? I don’t find similarities with all of the description but there are many that had the ring of truth. Truthfully, I am still shocked at what I read. I immediately took one of the quizzes the wikipedia entry suggested. The results confirmed my friends’ assertion. I am a (sigh) perfectionist.

What does that mean you say? It means that I am overly critical of myself. I weigh every setback and imperfection as a failure on my part. I am a workaholic. I stress often and plan incessantly. “Go with the flow” is counterintuitive for me. Criticism is a fate worst than death and my standards are high. (taking a deep breath)

But there is a bright side. Oh yes. As much as I am a perfectionist I am a STRONG believer in positive thinking. It is my belief that impossible is just a synonym for difficult. I see great things in everyone I meet even those I can’t stand (very short list). And although I criticize my work/self, I tend to reserve judgment on other people and their decisions.

So here I am a complete and utter paradox in need of some skirts, tops, and a new express blouse (figuratively speaking).

I’ll keep you updated!

Random side note: NEW OUTLET ON LONG ISLAND IN DEER PARK I CAN”T WAIT TO GET OVER THERE! Okay, I’m on a budget so I will wait for some sales.