Is it really saving if you don't put it in your savings account?

Hey yal (in best Southern Drawl).

Do you remember me? I've been putting in double time on the other blog so it has taken my time away from my beloved BONAB. But alas, I already know that you understand and love me still (right?)....


Well I've titled this blog "Is it really saving if you don't put it in your savings account". This has a literal and figurative meaning. As I am always looking to try to make sure my pennies are spent wisely, I notice that I fall for the trap of Save 25%. But am I really saving anything if I take that 25% and spend it on something else? The answer is NO. In order to truly save you must do first:

1.ONLY SPEND ON WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE PURCHASED ANYWAY. For example, you go into a store and you need a sweater. You purchase said sweater only to find out at the counter that you can receive 1/2 off a pair of pants. Now if you NEED a new pair of pants this is a deal. If you don't need pants and purchase it...what have you really saved? SUCKER! (lol) .

2. TAKE THE MONEY YOU SAVED AND....well...SAVE IT. If you've budgeted $50 for a sweater and you've spent say $35 and you take that $15 and have lunch, you haven't saved at all. Take the $15 (right away) and put it in your savings account. If you have an online savings account (i.e. ING), it may be easy to just transfer it in. If you don't take a moment and write out a check to your savings account and deposit it after you leave the store.

3. IF IT COSTS MORE TO "SAVE" you haven't saved. Yes you read it right. If it costs $10 in gas money to get to an obscure store that sells your necessity for $10 cheaper...you haven't saved. Sorry. Instead make it worth your while and shop where you can take care of other errands, saving on gas money as well as time.


Now for the figurative meaning of "Are you really saving if you don't put it in your savings account"

Ever get great advice??? I mean the type of advice that has the ring of truth as soon as you hear it. It's like the clouds open up and the Angels sing (high A please) and a rainbow appears while the person is speaking.

Ever nod your head at said advice and continue to live life without taking the advice? Yea you're not really saving a thing. You're not saving your time, your energy, or sanity.

Case and point: In 2009, I endured several toxic relationships. Toxic relationships can be with anyone (friend, colleague, lover, etc). They drain you emotionally, physically, and mentally. You know their bad because you feel terrible after having an encounter with that person. Unfortunately you keep them in your life anyway. Maybe you feel like you need this person or you just like to torture yourself. Either way you endure them with no end or reprieve in sight.

I received great advice from my parents and friends to just "let these people go". But did I take this advice? NOPE. I said no let me try to work the situation out. Let me try a different approach. (See my previous blogs about being a perfectionist). Now, it's not that I wanted to change these people. I knew they couldn't be changed but I figured if I continue to treat them how I wanted to be treated then one day (soon hopefully) they would catch on. WRONG AGAIN. These people stayed the course while I continued to suffer with the following personality flaws:

Person #1: The User (I'll call you when I need you and that' s every other minute)
Person #2: The Abuser/Narcissist (what about me? who cares about you)
Person #3: The I'm doing you a favor (by sticking around but honestly I need you more than you need me).

I realized that the fact that these so called friendships were still going on is that I didn't have the courage nor will power to CUT THESE PEOPLE OFF (like a Saks Fifth Savings Pass). What would my life be without them I thought. Will my phone not ring? Will I never have another serious relationship?

And then I read: Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you and pray for them which spitefully use you and persecute you. YES CONFIRMATION FROM THE GOOD BOOK ;-) No where did it say...allow them to keep using you or let them abuse you. All you can really do for these people is pray for them, wish them well and RETREAT from them (ABOUT FACE FORWARD MARCH). Truly save yourself the time, energy, and emotional stress. Let them go. So finally I took the advice. I shut the door on toxic relationships that were plaguing me in '09.

No more! As I reach another pivotal moment in my life, I have realized that I cannot allow people to make ME uncomfortable.

And you know what?! I've never been better. I have all of this time and energy to let new and worthy people into my life and to cherish the vitamins in my life (vitamins= people that are good for me).

Now I am simplifying things a bit. It isn't easy to get rid of these people because the truth is they NEED you. They call. They text. They BBM. They Tweet. And you'll want to answer. But you know what? Ask yourself, what would they do if you were in another country? They'd find someone else to use wouldn't they.. (dramatic pause)...wouldn't they (in best James Lipton voice).

Save your money your time and your energy...Allocate it to where it's needed most and where you'll get the most ROI (return for your investment).

I'll leave you with that thought!

Mwah!
TTYS

-BONAB

Get Free Budgeting Help at BetterBudgeting.com Since 2001 - Save More, Spend Less and Get Out of Debt!

Happy Holidays!

Forgive me for my lack of posts :-( However, you'll be happy to know that it is for a very very very good reason. I decided to take all of my fashion and makeup savvy and tastemaking habits and start a new business!

BFF MAKEUP STUDIO is now here! That's right! Now you can get top of the line skin care and makeup and soon fashion all in one spot.
Right now the first line of makeup/skincare that I feature is Mary Kay. Of course it is the #1 Selling Skin Care line for the past 15yrs. Why not start from the top? I'll be adding more great finds. For now check me out www.bffmakeupstudio.com

Now on to the main feature. I have been telling you since this blog started about various ways to cut back and yet live fabulously. Well, I found another great online resource that helps you watch your precious pennies. It's been around for a while (2001). The site features all types of budget saving ideas from learning how to read your credit report to making your own soap!

I think the site and its owner are top notch. Check the site out here...

Get Free Budgeting Help at BetterBudgeting.com Since 2001 - Save More, Spend Less and Get Out of Debt!

Till next time. And stay away from all of those holiday cookies already :- D

TTFN!

Make-Up Application Tips-How cool

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWczoeSeTyg

A Mercy by Toni Morrison - Trade Paperback - Random House

I think this will be my next book. I love Toni Morrison

A Mercy by Toni Morrison - Trade Paperback - Random House

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Culture

View more presentations from reed2001.

So it's August

I think days are going by like minutes because every moment I look up it's a new day. So much has happened since June...(my last blog).

Let me try to recall chronologically the pivotal moments in my life in the last month or so:

1. In early July I reconfirmed that it is more important to watch people's actions and focus less on their words. I have been watching the actions of a close friend and what I realized is that I would listen too much to their well wishes and cliche' comments and not pay enough attention to their negative behavior. When I put this person on mute and watched what they did and how they reacted in certain situations I learned that I no longer wanted to be close to this person. Our philosophy on life and interactions were no longer parallel. Today I am still hurting over the fact that I know that in a few years I won't be able to tell you what this person is doing and how they are fairing. But I find solace in the following wise words: "Some friends are in your life for only a season..." And truthfully every day I hurt less. Life is progression.

2. In mid July I learned that although you think no one is watching or listening, they are. I felt frustrated because I felt like my ideas in a certain area were being overlooked. However, when I least expected it, an old idea that I barely muttered was revived and used (and thank goodness they gave credit where credit was due). Life is rewarding.

3. About a week or two ago I had a wonderful experience...They say the best things in life are free. Well, there aren't any truer words. I found myself in the presence of two marvelous musicians at a sold out concert that I did not buy tickets to. Go figure! And all the while, I am sitting there at the concert pondering about love. Now granted, the concert featured Maxwell and Chrisette Michele so of course how could anyone not think about love? But what was different about this random pondering was that it lasted for a long time. I kept thinking about past relationships and current relationship-like situations (lol) and I couldn't help but feel a little sad. And then it came to me like an epiphany (ha!). When was the last time I was head over heels in love? Not in years. I miss that feeling. But of course, I know that I am truly loved by my family and friends. I know better not to force anything. But I think I'm ready for that butterflies-in-the-tummy feeling again. Life is love.

4. Yesterday while washing dishes I let my mind wander. I kept thinking about a situation that tested my principles. While I know that I navigated my way through it with class and sophistication...I couldn't help but giggle to myself about what I would have done had it happened to me 5 years ago. I thank God for my personal growth. Your personal standards and integrity are so very important. Don't compromise them for anyone. Life is the ultimate lesson.

5. Tomorrow I take another look at my finances. I have to make a decision about paying down debt and finding additional income. I worry a lot lately about finances. But I am learning to free myself from unsuccessful thoughts. So out the window goes the new pair of shoes I wanted for an upcoming event. Life is sacrifice, change, and challenges.

So it's August...already but I'm taking it all in stride because I'm living the heck out of life!

TTFN (Ta Tah for now!)

Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero – "seize the day and place no trust in tomorrow",

Along with the rest of the world I am mourning the recent passing of the KING OF POP- Michael Jackson (age 50). All of the radio stations are playing his music and everyone is posting their favorite song and moment from his lifetime.

Along with most people in my generation...when I was growing up Michael was already a legend.. my first experience of Michael was on VHS. I watched the 2hr long movie featuring his videos and special concert moments over and over and over. I thought he was the coolest person alive...and he was.

Yesterday we also lost Farrah to cancer..and we also lost Ed McMahon. Before then we lost Bernie Mac. It seems like an unfortunate and ongoing trend of losing great talent so early in their lives.

But is it really a coincidence? Even though they are famous, they are people,-human and they share what we all have in common...an imminent demise. (sorry to be so morose)

But there is that nagging feeling that these artists these overwhelmingly great people are not here on this earth very long.

Are we just being selfish? Only wanting them to stay around for our very own enjoyment..possibly..who knows..but these are all questions that are swimming through my head at the moment.

There must be a study on the shortened life spans of the famous...

A quick search brought up this article:

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/the-price-of-fame-pop-stars-are-more-likely-to-die-young-463836.html#

This article is interesting because it at least points out the factors that lead to the famous dying young. The most obvious is drugs but they also list stress and risk-taking behavior. Many of the reasons why the famous are famous is because of their ability to take risks and put themselves out there. Unfortunately, stress and risk taking have their effects on quality of life and life span.

While we all take a moment to think about the wonderful contribution that Michael Jackson has made to this world...I hope everyone takes that very next moment to figure how they can eliminate unnecessary stress and improve their quality of life. We don't know when we will pass on but we do have control over how we enjoy the time that we are here.

Use your time wisely.

Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero – "seize the day and place no trust in tomorrow"

Pop Legend Michael Jackson Dead at 50 - Celebrity Gossip | Entertainment News | Arts And Entertainment - FOXNews.com

Pop Legend Michael Jackson Dead at 50 - Celebrity Gossip | Entertainment News | Arts And Entertainment - FOXNews.com

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AVOIDING THE SUMMER CLICHE

You know it burns me up every time I think about my BonaB's living without an updated blog from me. If you have been reading for a while you should know by now that I write when it's important and post when I am moved. As a result, I specialize in quality and minimize the pointless and random blogs just to say that I have updated it everyday.

However, there is much to much that has moved me lately not to address it and open the floor for official BONAB discussion.

The topic of discussion for day is (drum roll please):

SUMMER CLICHES (insert accent mark please)

What is a Summer cliche' you ask?

I'm happy to define it for you. The word cliche' is a french word that defines an expression that is used to the point where it loses its original meaning. Basically overdoing something so that it doesn't carry the same weight. You know the guy that always says something is beautiful...and he compliments you and says you are so beautiful and then he goes and pets a dog and say wow that's a beautiful dog..and you are left wondering whether or not you are being insulted?

That's a cliche'!

So of course my intelligent readers are now wondering what makes something a seasonal cliche' let alone a summer Cliche'??

Summer is a season that is often characterized by it's warm summer days, flowers in full bloom, and increased activity. .People are said to be more active around the summer time; participating in more leisure activities. The earth while in orbit is tilted closer to the sun...driving people temporarily insane and frantic and down right frisky (obviously my opinion).

Thus, therefore, and ergo (lol)...A summer cliche' is any activity, thought process, and/or attire that (while it once had some pertinence and depth)is now overused to the point of blandness.

Ladies and Gentlemen...I give you my top 5 Summer Cliche' list and their replacements (I wouldn't leave you hanging).

5. The maxi dress. My heart strings were pulled when I had to put this on the list. The maxi dress is my FAVORITE easy fashion piece. It's popularity grew at the end of Summer 2007 but was always popular for the Downtown Brooklyn Bohemian Princesses. They practically re-invented the dress LOL! But now every women's store carries a version of this dress from NY and Company, Banana Repub., Ashley Stewart, to Newport News, and even the mega discount store DOTS! I've gotten to the point that I wonder if women in NY have legs. Now don't get me wrong...you may still catch me on a lazy Sunday with this dress at the supermarket but I can no longer add this to my first line of fashion defense team (read: my fashion A-list).

THE MAXI DRESS REPLACEMENT= THE MAXI SKIRT. Yes...replace the dress add a skirt and add a contrasting top and match it with sandals. Same "I look great without trying look" but now it packs a punch. If you can't let go of the maxi dress at least get the mid-calf maxi in two contrasting colors (one of my favorite BonaB's rocked this well last weekend! Go Girl!).




4. Barbecues where guests come empty handed....(I'm sure my great backyard owner's will feel me on this). Every year you know that your friends will look to you to have the most fab-tastic BBQ in the summer. They ask you about it for weeks and give you the ultimatum "Let me know before I go away on vacation..." Then you commit to a date and $500-$1,000 and a week of preparation later you have it. Your guests come, they eat, and then they leave you with the mess to clean up. LOL. Now everyone knows there is a recession going on. Why do this to yourself? Have a list of items and ask people to add to the fun. Now most kind guests like myself will ask "Do you need anything?" but let's be honest....not everyone does that. So this Summer...throw out the "YOU DO EVERYTHING BBQ" and bring in the "I CAN BRING BBQ".
Trust me you'll thank me for it ;-)






3. The # 3 summer cliche' is ending a relationship because everyone outside is naked or close to naked. Chances are they are naked trying to attract you because they screwed up over the winter time....Approach with caution.

CLICHE' REPLACEMENT:Suck it up and go on vacation with ol'faithful. If you were already single beware of the newly single. They are a dangerous group. again APPROACH with Caution.


2. Starting a brand new work out regime in the summer....

Replacement: Start in September...the gym is empty. LOL


1. WORKING TOO MUCH...Seriously.. if you work hard you need to play hard. Don't let the summer pass you by. ;-)

Till next time!

Mwah!

Atlanta Style Examiner: Jeweler David Yurman yanks Atlanta's chain

Atlanta Style Examiner: Jeweler David Yurman yanks Atlanta's chain

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My Review

Metrostyle

Love this Dress!

Bourgeoisie on a Budget! New York. NY 4/30/2009

 

4 5

Pros: Color is vibrant, Fit of the dress is great

Cons: none

Best Uses: Luncheon, Going for Brunch, Work

I used this dress for a luncheon at a conference and it was a hit.

()

Ahhhh and in comes the Spring... 10 things needed to enjoy it to the fullest

Hello my dears! I hope life is treating you well. Last week we ushered in Spring and bid a farewell to an eventful winter. And while the weather is still quite frigid (at least in NY)...change caresses my face with every sun kissed breeze.

Here are 10 B.On.A.B ways to bring in the Spring with a bang!

1. Get a Bright New Smile. Coffee and winter foods stain the teeth. Be sure to visit the dentist and snag a tube of Crest Extra Whitening paste.

2. If you are trying to get in shape for the coming summer months, set realistic goals/expectations for weight loss. Meet with your doctor, personal trainer, and or nutritionist at least once to set you on the right path. Don't overdo it!

3. Take advantage of online savings passes and free shipping offers. Monitor prices and weigh your options. Chances are you will find great deals on the clearance page of your favorite store's website. Add in a savings pass for even more savings!

Great online stores: http://www.piperlime.com/ , http://www.shopbop.com/ , and of course http://www.bluefly.com/ .

4. Make sure your Spring ensembles have the three essentials: FIT, FLARE, and COLOR!! While the winter season was all about texture and coordination...the Spring season is all about FFC.

Fit- Adjust your wardrobe and make sure it still fits and flatters your body. If it doesn't, launder it and donate it to charity!

Flare- Flare is so essential. The easiest way to ad flare is to wear a bold accessory that makes the outfit pop!. A great set of bangles, an ornate ring, or a pair of exotic earrings can spice up an outfit and make it look brand new.

CAVEAT: Be sure to focus on one accessory per outfit (until you become a pro). Matching sets are okay most of the time but make sure your accessories don't detract or over power the ensemble. (Photo Credit: Seth Wenig/Associated Press)

Color- Google the "color wheel/spectrum" and find out what colors naturally complement each other. If you are color clueless, try adding in one bold color to a monotone outfit before getting into color/pattern combos. For those with a little more savvy, find a bottom that has a trendy pattern and match it with a top that is the same color of the color that is least used in the pattern.

Check out this cool outfit from Banana Republic. It totally has FFC. Notice how the blazer isn't too tight. Be sure to buy a blazer one size up if you plan to layer and to avoid the muscle arm look. Notice how the model is able to roll up her sleeves and make this work-appropriate look a bit more casual. The flare comes in with the accessories...the belt and cashmere scarf. Small touches like a funky scarf or belt can really pull an outfit together. Finally, the burst of color...Banana Republic calls this bright delight: BLUE HEAVEN...Amen to that!

5. Change your space!!! Whether its a new living room layout or moving the angle of your computer at work, try to de clutter and rearrange. Need some inspiration? Visit http://www.hgtv.com/

6. GET OUT! It's still pretty chilly but throw on a jacket and get some midday sun (of course you should still be using sunscreen). The sun has mood elevating power. Grab a little sun and a lot of fresh air and boost your mood. It's free!

7. Get PROFESSIONAL HELP! If you've canceled your standing appointment for pedicures since last September...I wouldn't tackle your talons alone. Go get a professional manicure and pedicure and tip your favorite file wielding manicurist!

8. Evaluate your relationships/friendships. Cut any hurtful, negative, or stagnant relationships. Use the improving weather to go out and meet new people. Go network!

9. Organize your budding social calendar. Now of course just about everyone organizes using an electronic device (blackberry..the like) but with all of the technology one yearns for that personal touch. Paper and pen gives a personal touch and a realistic visual of your daily tasks. Not to mention it makes a fabu vintage fashion statement. Snag a suede journal and make a TO Do list or grab a beautiful Franklin agenda from Target. Cheap and printed on recycled paper...It's a win win.

<---Check out this cute journal from Target for $9.99

10. And last but not least. Try something new. No matter what it is..explore life and all it has to offer!

Mwah! TTFN (Tah Tah for now)

Charity On A Budget

It is sooooo imperative to me to make my mark in this world and to positively affect the people that I share this earth with. Sometimes its hard. I have a long list of people that if I had a lapse of judgement I would step on their toe. But I know better. I prefer to let them know that their actions don't rank high with me by not stooping to their level (also a difficult task). I am stubborn and head strong so of course I wouldn't let them sway me from being positive.

Lately, feelings of discontent have been filtering its way into my usually happy demeanor. "What's up?" I silently asked myself.

Digression in 5 4 3 2 1... Late Discovery! Ever take a quick moment to ask yourself why you are feeling the way you are feeling and what's causing the feeling? Taking an extra 5 minutes to ask yourself this question, reveals a whole lot. Call me an overthinker, but as of late, the moment I have a feeling that I don't like, I ask myself these questions. Next thing you know, the feeling has subsided.

Alright, and we're back...

So after thinking about it for an hour or so, I realized that I have been upset because one of my major goals is currently and temporarily impeded. This has left me feeling discouraged, disheartened and frankly ungrateful. Why is it that when you have a goal in mind and can't achieve it right away, all of your other accomplishments take a back seat...almost as if they don't exist. Such a tragedy.

I decided that it was time to refocus and channel my energies towards what I can accomplish right now...being a positive influence in the world that I live in. I devote several hours a week to community service through an international service organization. By forwarding the efforts of this organization I am able to make an impact on the local community. However, I feel the need to magnify my efforts. There is nothing like helping someone else in need to make you appreciate what and how much you have.

There are so many people that have been long affected by poverty and misfortune way before the economy fell. There is no better way to refocus my energy and life strategy then to turn down the volume on my concern for my own welfare and worry about something greater than myself.

I took my usual approach to achieving this goal:


1. Brainstorm
2. Organize
3. Set the Goal
4. Come up with a Strategy
5. Execute
6. Review and Regroup

Brainstorm- I pondered, and came up with a short list of issues that I wanted to impact positively. They include:

-Poverty In America- I never understood how the U.S. government sends so much aid to other countries and there are people in need right here. I know they must help out as a world power and I totally agree with that, but there is so much that can be done in our own backyard.

-HIV/AIDS. Somehow, I naiively thought that the stats on new cases have gone down tremendously. Silly me. They're still climbing. Women, men and children are dying from this disease in alarming rates. I am shocked that we are still on this "They look clean" sham.

- Obesity- This is a killer and so many people don't know realize it. I'm down to aid awareness any way I can.

-Energy Conservation- with all of the going green efforts, do I really need to say more?

-Africa- Specifically, Nigeria, Although I wasn't born there, I would like to do more for the country that gave me my father.

So that's my list of areas that I would like to impact.

Organize. Since there are 5 things that I'd like to focus on and 10 months left in the year, I figured I would focus on each goal for two months.

My GOAL: To bring about awareness to each cause and donate (and encourage others) to donate to one (researched) charity that serves that cause.

My Strategy: Utilize facebook and my current networks to magnify my efforts. If I can get one person to match my donation effort...I've doubled the positive impact.

Execute: I will create an informal giving circle (http://nonprofit.about.com/od/fundraising/p/givingcircles.htm)on facebook and right here on BonaB so that anyone who feels a sense of commitment to helping can join!

Review: I will humbly ask that anyone who plans to join me..let me know they are participating so that I can keep a record of how many people supported the cause.

Finally, I am on a budget. I know that I can't cure all of the world's ills. I can only budget $100 to this effort ($10 a month or $20 per cause) but I won't let that stop me from using that extra money to help someone in need and gain a greater sense of self and a greater appreciation for all that God's blessed me with.

Will you join me?

So this is my fault?

First and foremost...FORGIVE ME. I should not have left you without at least a word, a smoke signal, a sign that I was alive and doing well.

It's not that I haven't had the impetus to write. Quite the contrary! I have been wanting to write, to speak, to release about so many things.

Unfortunately, that means I need to unload in random!

So here it goes. The top topics that are on my mind at a given time.

1. Why is knowledge so liberating and yet such a burden. My mom always told me "If you know better, do better". But lately I can't fight the desire to leave people to their own devices. Why do I have to know better? I am glad that I am educated, have a strong sense of self, and enough confidence for two people (so I've been told). But why do those who have yet to take advantage of their potential become my burden? Before you call me obnoxious or the like...Think about it. This has probably happened to you. Do you ever find yourself making decisions for other people on the road? Coercing them to do the right thing? Like getting over so that they can stop riding your tail. Or slowing down so that they can feel comfortable that you are not racing them?

Do you ever find yourself in an almost empty clothing store and then someone comes and stands behind you and stares aimlessly as you make your choice and then when you walk away they select the same item?

Although sometimes its okay, don't you hate it when someone waits until you say something to declare "That's what I was thinking!" or " Your name here said this so...."

As of late, this is getting on my last nerve. Why are people afraid to speak, think, or choose for themselves? What happened to individuality and KNOWLEDGE of self? Did the economy damage our self esteem to the point where we wait for someone else to tell us what to think? Or is it me? Is it my fault that I am just discovering that so many people are suffering of GROUP THINK? That I am just figuring out that the world is High School?

2. It must be my age but I am starting to detest gossip. This past weekend so many people have asked me about my private life and the private life of my family that I feel like I am being watched. Usually, I would just chalk this up to paranoia but when your fear is confirmed saying that I am paranoid is null and void. In the words of W. Williams "I'm relevant".

3. Circuit City's out of business sale was bananas b-a-n-a-n-a-s! I almost got the Zune I wanted but sadly...it was putrid pink. Thank goodness because I don't need nor want a pink Zune.

4. Negativity is negative. Meaning it takes away from something. I need to keep everything that is positive in my life. So I have begun to tell people "YOU KEEP IT". Keep your negativity, spite, and malicious thoughts...I don't need it. But thanks.

5. A sense of humor has gotten me through so much. If I am laughing (LOL) just let me.

6. I have a strange ear. Figuratively, I like what I like. Sometimes I like songs for weird moments or just the beat alone.

7. CAKEMAN RAVEN ROCKS.

8. I need tinted windows. This is going to happen soon. I don't know why I didn't just get them when I bought the car. SIGH.

9. I now understand why celebrities wear shades. Some moments, even in public, are private.

10. Judgement should be reserved for God.

Thank you and good night!

Late Discoveries

I love to discover new things in old things. Whether it's a musical artist I've never heard, a restaurant I've never tried, or a part in a movie that I may have missed the first time, it brings me great joy to stumble upon these plain sight treasures.

So today I am stuck in bed courtesy of the flu and rather than let my migraine, aches and pains, stuffy nose, and fatigue get to me, I am going to list some of the wonderful late discoveries that bring me joy. :-)

1. The Dark Knight. Okay so this is one of the best Batman movies ever. I went to see this movie the first day it was out and sat and watched the movie from start to finish without taking my eyes off the screen. So when I rented it this weekend, I was surprised when I noticed something that I didn't catch the first time I saw the movie. I am referring to the scene where the Joker is heading to the hospital to turn Harvey Dent into a bad guy. The Joker is dressed in a nurse's uniform (which was hilarious) and sits next to Harvey. The Joker gives this "apology" for blowing up his girlfriend Rachel and launches into a convincing argument that leads to Harvey's war path. While he is in mid-rant the camera focuses on the nurse's uniform just enough that you can see that the Joker is wearing a "Vote for Harvey Dent" sticker. This was such a great comedic touch. I'm glad I caught it!

Check out this clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3OueDLQ23o to see what I mean.

2. The Roots. (Dodging Tomatoes and balled up Snickers wrappers...I know I know I'm late). I had a rare opportunity to watch a soul stage marathon on VH1 this week and to my delight I ran into yet another "Late Discovery" the hip hop group The Roots. I have seen a video or two before but I never really experienced their music. They're HOT! I researched the group and learned that they have been out since 1993 or so.

Check them out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7FDUBC40IY

3. Reed Diffusers. Okay so this is the latest craze in the air freshener industry. So I am not entirely late on this one. However, I tried the Bath & Body Works rendition on Reed Diffusers and I was pleasantly surprised. The only major drawback is that after a few days the scent dissipates. I think that the Airwick scents last longer but reed diffusers are a pretty alternative for your office/home.

4. NETFLIX. Okay so I have been a netflix user for a year now. I love it! But I did not realize that there are a plethora of aerobic dvds available. Workout dvds are usually around $15-$20 bucks each. I tend to use them for a month or two and then get tired of the workout. Now that I have learned about Netflix's array of workout videos, I can work out to a different dvd every week for $8 a month.... SORRY BILLY!

TO BE CONTINUED!

Sorry folks, I feel another Tylenol induced slumber coming on.

TTFN

All I want for Christmas

Season's Greetings!

It's been an exciting year filled with so many wonderful happenings. I had a wonderful birthday (just in case you wanted to know). My thanksgiving was pretty low-key yet very enjoyable.

BTW. My financial planning is going extremely well. I am on my way to becoming debt free and more financially stable than ever before. I must say the sacrifice has been just that. However, I'm committed to my choice and I can't wait to experience every success.

So now I am getting ready for Christmas. I love Christmas for so many reasons but my number one reason for loving Christmas is because of what the holiday symbolizes. We give to each other because Jesus' birth gave the ultimate gift to us. And whether or not you believe or if you are of another faith...charity and giving translates into being human.

I give gifts to my nearest and dearest to let them know that I appreciate them and I appreciate their role in my life. I love receiving gifts because of the very same reason. I feel loved, appreciated and cherished.

I remember when I was a very little girl I used to gather all of the Christmas catalogs and select what gifts I wanted most. I would dog ear the page my desired gift was on. Once I selected all of the gifts that I wanted, I created the ultimate wish list. Finally, I would deliver the list to my mom with a broad smile across my face.

My mom would look at the list and smile right back at me. Til this day I haven't perfected an impression of this smile but it clearly conveyed "You adorable child, you'll get many presents but I'll choose them and you will be happy with them because I said so".

And every Christmas, like clockwork...once I saw the gifts that my mom purchased for me I quickly forgot about whatever I had on my list. "How did she always know what to get me?" I finally asked.

She simply replied "I get you something you need, something you want, and something that will last".

After that year, I stopped writing wish lists. I realized that it was limiting and rude. The people who love you most know what you need, what you want and what you will treasure for a lifetime.

So Mom,Dad. Thanks for the unconditional love (something I need), PJ Sparkles, Nintendo, and the pink and white Barbie Dream house with the motorized Purple Mercedes (hey I wanted it), and finally those early morning Saturday courses at CW POST, Latin, the expensive Futurekids computer classes, and the love of learning and growing (tools that will last me a lifetime). I am forever indebted.

Enjoy your holiday :-)

Here is PJ Sparkles. She was the best.

I had the pink and white version but I kid you not I am tearing up looking at the pics. My sister and I spent hours playing with this house. There was plastic food in the refridgerator and everything. The only thing that was weird about the house was that there were no stairs for Barbie to get to the second floor. Weird right? LOL!!

FASHION & POLITICS A brief musing

It’s been forever since we last spoke! I have to admit that my life has been uber busy and hectic as of late. But I thought about you all often.

So what’s new?!

Ahh first and foremost we have a new president elect! I’m elated that America saw it fit to elect such an extraordinary and unique candidate. The icing on the cake is that he and his family are completely in tune with fashion, style, and budgets LOL!

Although Mrs. Obama took a lot of criticism for the November 5th red and black satin dress, she has always done an excellent job with her ensembles. In fact, I am not among those who abhor the outfit. Oh contraire! I like the statement. I would have preferred a different color choice but the texture mix of the dress documents (oh so nicely) what’s going on in America today (fashion and politics an unlikely couple).

Okay, so it’s NOVEMBER, prime fall season. Usually in the fall people lose the vibrant colors in exchange for the rich charcoals, browns, tans, and of course the ominous black. The winter months, due to the climate, encourages conservative color and dress. Out goes the mood lifting yellows, pinks, and pastels. SIGH :-(

But alas, this winter, the powers that be (the almighty fashion designers) saw it fit to inject voluminous color, pattern, and texture into their fall lines. As a result, I have gasped in awe and delight at the vibrant royal blues, plums, golds, suedes, leather, hound’s-tooth, and vivid cranberries I see prancing down the street. I even see pumpkin colored ensembles, and apple green mixes that really pop!

Knits and leopard, Satin and Suede, Paisley and well Paisley have inspired me and kept me in high spirits.

I don’t know who to thank for this perfectly printed fashion world but I embrace the change. It really seems like the masses have let go of the shades of gray and embraced a more liberal styling.

Funny coincidence ay?

Can a perfectionist be an optimist? I’m cautiously optimistic.

I’ve been pretty down lately. The clear signs are my change in eating, exercise habits (or lack thereof), and incessant shopping (lol okay so that might just be me all the time!). I disclosed two blogs ago about something I perceived as a failure and personal flaw. I must admit after I wrote about it I felt great and better about it. But then the symptoms came back. I’m not dieting as I should and I am beating myself up over what I consider a failure. I could just chalk this up to a temporary mood swing except I know better. Something is wrong when I wasn’t able to TRULY enjoy a recent success that I experienced. I’m happy about it, but I am really not basking in the glow of this major success. I’m just okay with it. That’s not like me. I usually celebrate every success just as hard as I worked towards it. Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for that success but something just doesn’t seem right.

The horrible secret everyone has been keeping from me. PAY ATTENTION…Someone might be trying to tell you something.

Like a wet armpit stain on a princess cut, solid colored Express blouse your personality is noticeable. Your friends know the ins and outs of what makes you, you. But very often, they won’t tell you (at least not directly) that there may be something wrong with your personality. Only their reactions to you leave you clues of how you affect people. Positively or negatively. It goes both ways.

CLUE #1 My friends avoid giving me negative feedback like the plague. So afraid of my reaction or relentless effort to “fix it” they simply find positive things to say or say nothing at all. Great friends right?! Yea, I love them a lot. But that’s not conducive to my growth.

CLUE #2 Often, I am told “Wow you put a lot of effort into that…I wasn’t expecting that much.” Or “It doesn’t have to be perfect.” The latter statement irks my inner core. Of course things don’t HAVE to be perfect…but does that mean you don’t try to achieve it (still rolling my eyes).

CLUE#3 I am often given sensitive/detail-oriented projects at work.

CLUE#4 I procrastinate until I know the perfect method of execution.

CLUE#5 My mantra is Go hard or Go Home. All or nothing!

If you haven’t guessed it by now, I’m a textbook perfectionist. Today I typed in perfectionist in Wikipedia and my jaw dropped. Yes I’ve been called a perfectionist before (many times now that I think of it) but never had I really reviewed the true DSM-IV-esque definition of it. I either take it as a compliment or just ignore it completely. This was the horrible secret everyone has been keeping from me-yet hinting at.

Could I be this bad? I don’t find similarities with all of the description but there are many that had the ring of truth. Truthfully, I am still shocked at what I read. I immediately took one of the quizzes the wikipedia entry suggested. The results confirmed my friends’ assertion. I am a (sigh) perfectionist.

What does that mean you say? It means that I am overly critical of myself. I weigh every setback and imperfection as a failure on my part. I am a workaholic. I stress often and plan incessantly. “Go with the flow” is counterintuitive for me. Criticism is a fate worst than death and my standards are high. (taking a deep breath)

But there is a bright side. Oh yes. As much as I am a perfectionist I am a STRONG believer in positive thinking. It is my belief that impossible is just a synonym for difficult. I see great things in everyone I meet even those I can’t stand (very short list). And although I criticize my work/self, I tend to reserve judgment on other people and their decisions.

So here I am a complete and utter paradox in need of some skirts, tops, and a new express blouse (figuratively speaking).

I’ll keep you updated!

Random side note: NEW OUTLET ON LONG ISLAND IN DEER PARK I CAN”T WAIT TO GET OVER THERE! Okay, I’m on a budget so I will wait for some sales.

FACE IT!

FACE IT!

Change is so necessary. The seasons change. People change (when they want to). The world changes. Change is the only constant. So no matter what changes you are going through be sure to put your best face forward. My mom always says…no one should be able to tell what you are going through from the way you look. “Groom for the outcome.”

If you read my last post, you already know that I am positioning myself for a grand outcome (you know me…if it ain’t grand, flashy, and femme…I don’t want it). The sacrifice has been just that, a sacrifice but thanks to reassuring words from loved ones I am gracefully accepting the changes (with a few woe is me moments every now and then!).

But enough about me (I could go on for days if you let me LOL), how are we going to get you ready for this changing season?


Ooo Ooo I know, a FACIAL!! Great skin helps you face anything and with the changing weather now is a good time to get your daily regimen in check.

I found this great article by Jen Adkins about getting ready for the fall. Take a look:

http://skincare.about.com/od/skin101/tp/SkinCareTipsForFall.htm

Our pal Jen gives great advice on skin care. The ten steps are great. Here are the ten tips she gives for great fall skin with the Bourgeoisie on a Budget Product match-up. Enjoy!

1.Reassess Your Body Cleanser. - Basically you shouldn’t smell like Summer Rain in the fall. You also need more moisture. TRY: Aveeno Moisturizing Body Wash. It smells great and feels even better. ALSO TRY: markSanctuary…great stuff!

2.Try an Oil-based scrub. Basically, don’t scrub your skin off. Since you probably need it in the winter. TRT: Warm Spirit Body Scrubs (heaven in a jar) ALSO TRY: PlanetSpa Brown Sugar Body Scrub with Shea Butter (Sheba baby!)

3.Moisturize every single day. This really shouldn’t be a rule. I hope you don’t leave your house ashy. TRY: Vaseline with Cocoa Butter. I love it. ALSO TRY: Vaseline Age Renewal. It smells great.

4.Analyze your skin. Your skin type changes with the weather. Duh?! TRY: Neutrogena skin products. They have a great range ALSO TRY: Avon by Shola…There is a feature on the Anew Skincare page that picks skin care products specifically for you and all you do is answer a few questions.

5.Organize your Skincare. Great job with this one Jen! Buying a line of products helps you to organize your skin care. Don’t exfoliate too much! Face masks once a week! TRY: Avon Professional line which is reasonably priced. ALSO TRY: Ambi line of products.

6.Don’t forget Sunscreen. In case you didn’t know the sun doesn’t go away in the fall. TRY: MAC foundation with SPF in it…I heart MAC but I sleep with a PC. J (No really as of late…with all the work that I have been doing…my laptop has been snuggling up next to me at night).

7.Remember Your Feet. There is usually an email that goes around during the spring that warns women (especially) about taking care of their feet before wearing sandals. It’s funny and all but I wonder why wait until spring? Why just women? Usually it’s easy to neglect your feet when they are stuffed in stockings and/or socks but try to avoid it. Save money by maintaining your pedicure at home and going maybe once a month to the salon. Get a sheer polish so that it is easier to maintain (less noticeable chips). Put a pumice stone in the shower. They shouldn’t cost more than a $1 (see your favorite 99 cent store). Well maintained feet = less runs in stockings from sharp toes. Tee hee!

8.Invest in Cuticle Oil. (Running out to get some today!)

9.Ditch the Pastel Polish. TRY: A sheer plum. Plum is the new red…so I hear.

10.Indulge in a New Hand Cream. This tip should read: “Head to Bath & Body Works, savings pass in hand and rack up on Midnight Pomegranate, Japanese Cherry Blossom, and the like” Get the crèmes and body soufflé’s. They also have lots of stuff for the men. Got to love a man with manicured and moisturized hands.

And that is all.

And now for my favorite quote “Love. Live Life. Pro-ceed. Pro-gress.” –Lil Wayne.

I heart you all. I really do. Thanks for reading.

TTFN!

Taking a Step Back in order to Leap Forward

Runners do it. Why can’t I?

I mentioned to you all that I have a background in management and according to my last performance review I’m pretty great at it. There’s just one problem. My extremely organized and logical approach to my work and my other passions (marketing, etc.) does not always translate into other aspects of my life.

Let me give you an example of my latent OCD. I get about 100 emails per day. That’s just the nature of my job. Despite that, my inbox remains clean. Not one email stays in my inbox for over 5-10mins. I triage each email into one of several folders. I then assign it a priority color code. All red items are handled within the hour. Blue Items I am waiting on a response from someone else before I can answer and Orange Items are FMI (just for my information). I archive each week and respond even if it is to say “Report complete.” Or a simple “Confirmed.” This creates a record that I have completed everything that I was supposed to do for this particular case/issue. So in the event (because it happens so often) that I need to provide a status I can type in “confirmed” or “complete” and everything I have done for the week pops up.

I share this with you not for you to laugh at me (although I am sure you are anyway. it’s okay), but to convey that when it comes to work and my passions I am meticulous. And when it comes to everything else, I am completely relaxed.

So what’s the problem you ask?

Finances. My dear Watson. Finances.

I take extreme care with Other People’s Money and I am COMPLETELY relaxed when it comes to large ticket items (car, apartment, etc.). This is part of the reason that I created Bourgeoisie on a Budget. My goal is to continue to live well using less and helping others to do the same. Simply put, I want to eat my cake, save some for later, and sell the rest for a reasonable profit.

These past few weeks, I have seriously examined my expenditures in comparison to my life goals. My findings? I am accepting less, not SERIOUSLY working towards my dream of more, because of my fear of sacrifice. Confused? Let me clarify point by point.

I AM ACCEPTING LESS

Taking anything that is less than your ideal is accepting less. It is okay to do it temporarily but getting caught in the cycle of accepting less than what you really want/need is counterproductive and addictive. (I’m tempted to give relationship advice here but since I do not have the appropriate degree, and it’s completely off subject…I will happily refrain.)

NOT SERIOUSLY WORKING TOWARDS MY GOAL OF MORE

By accepting less, I am not saving towards the more that I require out of life. It’s like buying a closet full of Baker’s when what you really wanted was a pair of Manolo’s. If you would have stopped buying all that Baker’s (or bought one pair) and saved the rest of your income…you probably could have gotten what you initially wanted. (I am not opposed to Baker’s people I just needed a plausible analogy). Furthermore, by limiting yourself to Baker’s and only shopping there… you are not keeping track of you initial goal and you lose the opportunity to get the Manolo’s on sale at Bluefly!

So what’s a girl to do?

Well, first I called my financial advisor (I’m so happy she remembered that I was alive!) and came clean. I told her what my goals were and she promised to help me reach them. I plan to meet with her in two weeks. By then I am supposed to have a fully worked out budget to propose to her. I received in the mail two days after our chat, a wonderful worksheet that will help me put together my budget.

Second, I made a drastic move. Literally, I got rid of my biggest liability (and one of my biggest joys) in order to realize my personal financial goal. While tears, extreme pouting, and worrying were apart of the transition, I knew this was a necessary change that I had to make. If something is not contributing to your goals, it may very well be an obstacle. And if it is an obstacle you need to remove it.

Third, after I finish posting this blog…I am going to research every step it takes to get to my goal. This will serve as my check list to success.

Side Note: Since my drastic move was bound to make some people criticize my decision, I didn’t tell many people. Sometimes a random opinion can keep you from doing what is necessary. An opinion is exactly what it is…nothing more. Sometimes I forget that.

While shopping the other day (don’t worry it was for necessities AND I had a savings pass!), I thought about the Olympics track and field events. I remember watching each runner go through their own funny routine before they got “on their mark”. Every runner did it. Every runner had their own routine and could care less that the world was watching them shake their leg three times, roll their head from side to side, take a step back and then flail their arms front and back. And although, it was funny to watch, no one laughs. No one laughs because the understanding is that the runner is preparing for the race of their life. So who the hell cares what they need to do before hand to get ready for it. All that matters is the success waiting at the end of the race.

Make your sacrifices without others in mind...ALL THAT MATTERS is the success at the end of the race.

TTFN!