Is it really saving if you don't put it in your savings account?

Hey yal (in best Southern Drawl).

Do you remember me? I've been putting in double time on the other blog so it has taken my time away from my beloved BONAB. But alas, I already know that you understand and love me still (right?)....


Well I've titled this blog "Is it really saving if you don't put it in your savings account". This has a literal and figurative meaning. As I am always looking to try to make sure my pennies are spent wisely, I notice that I fall for the trap of Save 25%. But am I really saving anything if I take that 25% and spend it on something else? The answer is NO. In order to truly save you must do first:

1.ONLY SPEND ON WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE PURCHASED ANYWAY. For example, you go into a store and you need a sweater. You purchase said sweater only to find out at the counter that you can receive 1/2 off a pair of pants. Now if you NEED a new pair of pants this is a deal. If you don't need pants and purchase it...what have you really saved? SUCKER! (lol) .

2. TAKE THE MONEY YOU SAVED AND....well...SAVE IT. If you've budgeted $50 for a sweater and you've spent say $35 and you take that $15 and have lunch, you haven't saved at all. Take the $15 (right away) and put it in your savings account. If you have an online savings account (i.e. ING), it may be easy to just transfer it in. If you don't take a moment and write out a check to your savings account and deposit it after you leave the store.

3. IF IT COSTS MORE TO "SAVE" you haven't saved. Yes you read it right. If it costs $10 in gas money to get to an obscure store that sells your necessity for $10 cheaper...you haven't saved. Sorry. Instead make it worth your while and shop where you can take care of other errands, saving on gas money as well as time.


Now for the figurative meaning of "Are you really saving if you don't put it in your savings account"

Ever get great advice??? I mean the type of advice that has the ring of truth as soon as you hear it. It's like the clouds open up and the Angels sing (high A please) and a rainbow appears while the person is speaking.

Ever nod your head at said advice and continue to live life without taking the advice? Yea you're not really saving a thing. You're not saving your time, your energy, or sanity.

Case and point: In 2009, I endured several toxic relationships. Toxic relationships can be with anyone (friend, colleague, lover, etc). They drain you emotionally, physically, and mentally. You know their bad because you feel terrible after having an encounter with that person. Unfortunately you keep them in your life anyway. Maybe you feel like you need this person or you just like to torture yourself. Either way you endure them with no end or reprieve in sight.

I received great advice from my parents and friends to just "let these people go". But did I take this advice? NOPE. I said no let me try to work the situation out. Let me try a different approach. (See my previous blogs about being a perfectionist). Now, it's not that I wanted to change these people. I knew they couldn't be changed but I figured if I continue to treat them how I wanted to be treated then one day (soon hopefully) they would catch on. WRONG AGAIN. These people stayed the course while I continued to suffer with the following personality flaws:

Person #1: The User (I'll call you when I need you and that' s every other minute)
Person #2: The Abuser/Narcissist (what about me? who cares about you)
Person #3: The I'm doing you a favor (by sticking around but honestly I need you more than you need me).

I realized that the fact that these so called friendships were still going on is that I didn't have the courage nor will power to CUT THESE PEOPLE OFF (like a Saks Fifth Savings Pass). What would my life be without them I thought. Will my phone not ring? Will I never have another serious relationship?

And then I read: Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you and pray for them which spitefully use you and persecute you. YES CONFIRMATION FROM THE GOOD BOOK ;-) No where did it say...allow them to keep using you or let them abuse you. All you can really do for these people is pray for them, wish them well and RETREAT from them (ABOUT FACE FORWARD MARCH). Truly save yourself the time, energy, and emotional stress. Let them go. So finally I took the advice. I shut the door on toxic relationships that were plaguing me in '09.

No more! As I reach another pivotal moment in my life, I have realized that I cannot allow people to make ME uncomfortable.

And you know what?! I've never been better. I have all of this time and energy to let new and worthy people into my life and to cherish the vitamins in my life (vitamins= people that are good for me).

Now I am simplifying things a bit. It isn't easy to get rid of these people because the truth is they NEED you. They call. They text. They BBM. They Tweet. And you'll want to answer. But you know what? Ask yourself, what would they do if you were in another country? They'd find someone else to use wouldn't they.. (dramatic pause)...wouldn't they (in best James Lipton voice).

Save your money your time and your energy...Allocate it to where it's needed most and where you'll get the most ROI (return for your investment).

I'll leave you with that thought!

Mwah!
TTYS

-BONAB