Is it really saving if you don't put it in your savings account?

Hey yal (in best Southern Drawl).

Do you remember me? I've been putting in double time on the other blog so it has taken my time away from my beloved BONAB. But alas, I already know that you understand and love me still (right?)....


Well I've titled this blog "Is it really saving if you don't put it in your savings account". This has a literal and figurative meaning. As I am always looking to try to make sure my pennies are spent wisely, I notice that I fall for the trap of Save 25%. But am I really saving anything if I take that 25% and spend it on something else? The answer is NO. In order to truly save you must do first:

1.ONLY SPEND ON WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE PURCHASED ANYWAY. For example, you go into a store and you need a sweater. You purchase said sweater only to find out at the counter that you can receive 1/2 off a pair of pants. Now if you NEED a new pair of pants this is a deal. If you don't need pants and purchase it...what have you really saved? SUCKER! (lol) .

2. TAKE THE MONEY YOU SAVED AND....well...SAVE IT. If you've budgeted $50 for a sweater and you've spent say $35 and you take that $15 and have lunch, you haven't saved at all. Take the $15 (right away) and put it in your savings account. If you have an online savings account (i.e. ING), it may be easy to just transfer it in. If you don't take a moment and write out a check to your savings account and deposit it after you leave the store.

3. IF IT COSTS MORE TO "SAVE" you haven't saved. Yes you read it right. If it costs $10 in gas money to get to an obscure store that sells your necessity for $10 cheaper...you haven't saved. Sorry. Instead make it worth your while and shop where you can take care of other errands, saving on gas money as well as time.


Now for the figurative meaning of "Are you really saving if you don't put it in your savings account"

Ever get great advice??? I mean the type of advice that has the ring of truth as soon as you hear it. It's like the clouds open up and the Angels sing (high A please) and a rainbow appears while the person is speaking.

Ever nod your head at said advice and continue to live life without taking the advice? Yea you're not really saving a thing. You're not saving your time, your energy, or sanity.

Case and point: In 2009, I endured several toxic relationships. Toxic relationships can be with anyone (friend, colleague, lover, etc). They drain you emotionally, physically, and mentally. You know their bad because you feel terrible after having an encounter with that person. Unfortunately you keep them in your life anyway. Maybe you feel like you need this person or you just like to torture yourself. Either way you endure them with no end or reprieve in sight.

I received great advice from my parents and friends to just "let these people go". But did I take this advice? NOPE. I said no let me try to work the situation out. Let me try a different approach. (See my previous blogs about being a perfectionist). Now, it's not that I wanted to change these people. I knew they couldn't be changed but I figured if I continue to treat them how I wanted to be treated then one day (soon hopefully) they would catch on. WRONG AGAIN. These people stayed the course while I continued to suffer with the following personality flaws:

Person #1: The User (I'll call you when I need you and that' s every other minute)
Person #2: The Abuser/Narcissist (what about me? who cares about you)
Person #3: The I'm doing you a favor (by sticking around but honestly I need you more than you need me).

I realized that the fact that these so called friendships were still going on is that I didn't have the courage nor will power to CUT THESE PEOPLE OFF (like a Saks Fifth Savings Pass). What would my life be without them I thought. Will my phone not ring? Will I never have another serious relationship?

And then I read: Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you and pray for them which spitefully use you and persecute you. YES CONFIRMATION FROM THE GOOD BOOK ;-) No where did it say...allow them to keep using you or let them abuse you. All you can really do for these people is pray for them, wish them well and RETREAT from them (ABOUT FACE FORWARD MARCH). Truly save yourself the time, energy, and emotional stress. Let them go. So finally I took the advice. I shut the door on toxic relationships that were plaguing me in '09.

No more! As I reach another pivotal moment in my life, I have realized that I cannot allow people to make ME uncomfortable.

And you know what?! I've never been better. I have all of this time and energy to let new and worthy people into my life and to cherish the vitamins in my life (vitamins= people that are good for me).

Now I am simplifying things a bit. It isn't easy to get rid of these people because the truth is they NEED you. They call. They text. They BBM. They Tweet. And you'll want to answer. But you know what? Ask yourself, what would they do if you were in another country? They'd find someone else to use wouldn't they.. (dramatic pause)...wouldn't they (in best James Lipton voice).

Save your money your time and your energy...Allocate it to where it's needed most and where you'll get the most ROI (return for your investment).

I'll leave you with that thought!

Mwah!
TTYS

-BONAB

Get Free Budgeting Help at BetterBudgeting.com Since 2001 - Save More, Spend Less and Get Out of Debt!

Happy Holidays!

Forgive me for my lack of posts :-( However, you'll be happy to know that it is for a very very very good reason. I decided to take all of my fashion and makeup savvy and tastemaking habits and start a new business!

BFF MAKEUP STUDIO is now here! That's right! Now you can get top of the line skin care and makeup and soon fashion all in one spot.
Right now the first line of makeup/skincare that I feature is Mary Kay. Of course it is the #1 Selling Skin Care line for the past 15yrs. Why not start from the top? I'll be adding more great finds. For now check me out www.bffmakeupstudio.com

Now on to the main feature. I have been telling you since this blog started about various ways to cut back and yet live fabulously. Well, I found another great online resource that helps you watch your precious pennies. It's been around for a while (2001). The site features all types of budget saving ideas from learning how to read your credit report to making your own soap!

I think the site and its owner are top notch. Check the site out here...

Get Free Budgeting Help at BetterBudgeting.com Since 2001 - Save More, Spend Less and Get Out of Debt!

Till next time. And stay away from all of those holiday cookies already :- D

TTFN!

Make-Up Application Tips-How cool

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWczoeSeTyg

A Mercy by Toni Morrison - Trade Paperback - Random House

I think this will be my next book. I love Toni Morrison

A Mercy by Toni Morrison - Trade Paperback - Random House

Shared via AddThis

Culture

View more presentations from reed2001.

So it's August

I think days are going by like minutes because every moment I look up it's a new day. So much has happened since June...(my last blog).

Let me try to recall chronologically the pivotal moments in my life in the last month or so:

1. In early July I reconfirmed that it is more important to watch people's actions and focus less on their words. I have been watching the actions of a close friend and what I realized is that I would listen too much to their well wishes and cliche' comments and not pay enough attention to their negative behavior. When I put this person on mute and watched what they did and how they reacted in certain situations I learned that I no longer wanted to be close to this person. Our philosophy on life and interactions were no longer parallel. Today I am still hurting over the fact that I know that in a few years I won't be able to tell you what this person is doing and how they are fairing. But I find solace in the following wise words: "Some friends are in your life for only a season..." And truthfully every day I hurt less. Life is progression.

2. In mid July I learned that although you think no one is watching or listening, they are. I felt frustrated because I felt like my ideas in a certain area were being overlooked. However, when I least expected it, an old idea that I barely muttered was revived and used (and thank goodness they gave credit where credit was due). Life is rewarding.

3. About a week or two ago I had a wonderful experience...They say the best things in life are free. Well, there aren't any truer words. I found myself in the presence of two marvelous musicians at a sold out concert that I did not buy tickets to. Go figure! And all the while, I am sitting there at the concert pondering about love. Now granted, the concert featured Maxwell and Chrisette Michele so of course how could anyone not think about love? But what was different about this random pondering was that it lasted for a long time. I kept thinking about past relationships and current relationship-like situations (lol) and I couldn't help but feel a little sad. And then it came to me like an epiphany (ha!). When was the last time I was head over heels in love? Not in years. I miss that feeling. But of course, I know that I am truly loved by my family and friends. I know better not to force anything. But I think I'm ready for that butterflies-in-the-tummy feeling again. Life is love.

4. Yesterday while washing dishes I let my mind wander. I kept thinking about a situation that tested my principles. While I know that I navigated my way through it with class and sophistication...I couldn't help but giggle to myself about what I would have done had it happened to me 5 years ago. I thank God for my personal growth. Your personal standards and integrity are so very important. Don't compromise them for anyone. Life is the ultimate lesson.

5. Tomorrow I take another look at my finances. I have to make a decision about paying down debt and finding additional income. I worry a lot lately about finances. But I am learning to free myself from unsuccessful thoughts. So out the window goes the new pair of shoes I wanted for an upcoming event. Life is sacrifice, change, and challenges.

So it's August...already but I'm taking it all in stride because I'm living the heck out of life!

TTFN (Ta Tah for now!)

Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero – "seize the day and place no trust in tomorrow",

Along with the rest of the world I am mourning the recent passing of the KING OF POP- Michael Jackson (age 50). All of the radio stations are playing his music and everyone is posting their favorite song and moment from his lifetime.

Along with most people in my generation...when I was growing up Michael was already a legend.. my first experience of Michael was on VHS. I watched the 2hr long movie featuring his videos and special concert moments over and over and over. I thought he was the coolest person alive...and he was.

Yesterday we also lost Farrah to cancer..and we also lost Ed McMahon. Before then we lost Bernie Mac. It seems like an unfortunate and ongoing trend of losing great talent so early in their lives.

But is it really a coincidence? Even though they are famous, they are people,-human and they share what we all have in common...an imminent demise. (sorry to be so morose)

But there is that nagging feeling that these artists these overwhelmingly great people are not here on this earth very long.

Are we just being selfish? Only wanting them to stay around for our very own enjoyment..possibly..who knows..but these are all questions that are swimming through my head at the moment.

There must be a study on the shortened life spans of the famous...

A quick search brought up this article:

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/the-price-of-fame-pop-stars-are-more-likely-to-die-young-463836.html#

This article is interesting because it at least points out the factors that lead to the famous dying young. The most obvious is drugs but they also list stress and risk-taking behavior. Many of the reasons why the famous are famous is because of their ability to take risks and put themselves out there. Unfortunately, stress and risk taking have their effects on quality of life and life span.

While we all take a moment to think about the wonderful contribution that Michael Jackson has made to this world...I hope everyone takes that very next moment to figure how they can eliminate unnecessary stress and improve their quality of life. We don't know when we will pass on but we do have control over how we enjoy the time that we are here.

Use your time wisely.

Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero – "seize the day and place no trust in tomorrow"