Bourge(oisie) On a Budget

Is it really saving if you don't put it in your savings account?

2010-02-18T13:30:00.000-08:00

Hey yal (in best Southern Drawl).

Do you remember me? I've been putting in double time on the other blog so it has taken my time away from my beloved BONAB. But alas, I already know that you understand and love me still (right?)....

Well I've titled this blog "Is it really saving if you don't put it in your savings account". This has a literal and figurative meaning. As I am always looking to try to make sure my pennies are spent wisely, I notice that I fall for the trap of Save 25%. But am I really saving anything if I take that 25% and spend it on something else? The answer is NO. In order to truly save you must do first:

1.ONLY SPEND ON WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE PURCHASED ANYWAY. For example, you go into a store and you need a sweater. You purchase said sweater only to find out at the counter that you can receive 1/2 off a pair of pants. Now if you NEED a new pair of pants this is a deal. If you don't need pants and purchase it...what have you really saved? SUCKER! (lol) .

2. TAKE THE MONEY YOU SAVED AND....well...SAVE IT. If you've budgeted $50 for a sweater and you've spent say $35 and you take that $15 and have lunch, you haven't saved at all. Take the $15 (right away) and put it in your savings account. If you have an online savings account (i.e. ING), it may be easy to just transfer it in. If you don't take a moment and write out a check to your savings account and deposit it after you leave the store.

3. IF IT COSTS MORE TO "SAVE" you haven't saved. Yes you read it right. If it costs $10 in gas money to get to an obscure store that sells your necessity for $10 cheaper...you haven't saved. Sorry. Instead make it worth your while and shop where you can take care of other errands, saving on gas money as well as time.

Now for the figurative meaning of "Are you really saving if you don't put it in your savings account"

Ever get great advice??? I mean the type of advice that has the ring of truth as soon as you hear it. It's like the clouds open up and the Angels sing (high A please) and a rainbow appears while the person is speaking.

Ever nod your head at said advice and continue to live life without taking the advice? Yea you're not really saving a thing. You're not saving your time, your energy, or sanity.

Case and point: In 2009, I endured several toxic relationships. Toxic relationships can be with anyone (friend, colleague, lover, etc). They drain you emotionally, physically, and mentally. You know their bad because you feel terrible after having an encounter with that person. Unfortunately you keep them in your life anyway. Maybe you feel like you need this person or you just like to torture yourself. Either way you endure them with no end or reprieve in sight.

I received great advice from my parents and friends to just "let these people go". But did I take this advice? NOPE. I said no let me try to work the situation out. Let me try a different approach. (See my previous blogs about being a perfectionist). Now, it's not that I wanted to change these people. I knew they couldn't be changed but I figured if I continue to treat them how I wanted to be treated then one day (soon hopefully) they would catch on. WRONG AGAIN. These people stayed the course while I continued to suffer with the following personality flaws:

Person #1: The User (I'll call you when I need you and that' s every other minute)
Person #2: The Abuser/Narcissist (what about me? who cares about you)
Person #3: The I'm doing you a favor (by sticking around but honestly I need you more than you need me).

I realized that the fact that these so called friendships were still going on is that I didn't have the courage nor will power to CUT THESE PEOPLE OFF (like a Saks Fifth Savings Pass). What would my life be without them I thought. Will my phone not ring? Will I never have another serious relationship?

And then I read: Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you and pray for them which spitefully use you and persecute you. YES CONFIRMATION FROM THE GOOD BOOK ;-) No where did it say...allow them to keep using you or let them abuse you. All you can really do for these people is pray for them, wish them well and RETREAT from them (ABOUT FACE FORWARD MARCH). Truly save yourself the time, energy, and emotional stress. Let them go. So finally I took the advice. I shut the door on toxic relationships that were plaguing me in '09.

No more! As I reach another pivotal moment in my life, I have realized that I cannot allow people to make ME uncomfortable.

And you know what?! I've never been better. I have all of this time and energy to let new and worthy people into my life and to cherish the vitamins in my life (vitamins= people that are good for me).

Now I am simplifying things a bit. It isn't easy to get rid of these people because the truth is they NEED you. They call. They text. They BBM. They Tweet. And you'll want to answer. But you know what? Ask yourself, what would they do if you were in another country? They'd find someone else to use wouldn't they.. (dramatic pause)...wouldn't they (in best James Lipton voice).

Save your money your time and your energy...Allocate it to where it's needed most and where you'll get the most ROI (return for your investment).

I'll leave you with that thought!

Mwah!
TTYS

-BONAB

Get Free Budgeting Help at BetterBudgeting.com Since 2001 - Save More, Spend Less and Get Out of Debt!

2009-12-18T12:07:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays!

Forgive me for my lack of posts :-( However, you'll be happy to know that it is for a very very very good reason. I decided to take all of my fashion and makeup savvy and tastemaking habits and start a new business!

BFF MAKEUP STUDIO is now here! That's right! Now you can get top of the line skin care and makeup and soon fashion all in one spot.
Right now the first line of makeup/skincare that I feature is Mary Kay. Of course it is the #1 Selling Skin Care line for the past 15yrs. Why not start from the top? I'll be adding more great finds. For now check me out www.bffmakeupstudio.com

Now on to the main feature. I have been telling you since this blog started about various ways to cut back and yet live fabulously. Well, I found another great online resource that helps you watch your precious pennies. It's been around for a while (2001). The site features all types of budget saving ideas from learning how to read your credit report to making your own soap!

I think the site and its owner are top notch. Check the site out here...

Get Free Budgeting Help at BetterBudgeting.com Since 2001 - Save More, Spend Less and Get Out of Debt!

Till next time. And stay away from all of those holiday cookies already :- D

TTFN!

Make-Up Application Tips-How cool

2009-09-27T09:59:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWczoeSeTyg

A Mercy by Toni Morrison - Trade Paperback - Random House

2009-08-13T11:33:00.001-07:00

I think this will be my next book. I love Toni Morrison

A Mercy by Toni Morrison - Trade Paperback - Random House

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2009-08-12T11:03:00.001-07:00

Culture

View more presentations from reed2001.

So it's August

2009-08-03T19:32:00.001-07:00

I think days are going by like minutes because every moment I look up it's a new day. So much has happened since June...(my last blog).

Let me try to recall chronologically the pivotal moments in my life in the last month or so:

1. In early July I reconfirmed that it is more important to watch people's actions and focus less on their words. I have been watching the actions of a close friend and what I realized is that I would listen too much to their well wishes and cliche' comments and not pay enough attention to their negative behavior. When I put this person on mute and watched what they did and how they reacted in certain situations I learned that I no longer wanted to be close to this person. Our philosophy on life and interactions were no longer parallel. Today I am still hurting over the fact that I know that in a few years I won't be able to tell you what this person is doing and how they are fairing. But I find solace in the following wise words: "Some friends are in your life for only a season..." And truthfully every day I hurt less. Life is progression.

2. In mid July I learned that although you think no one is watching or listening, they are. I felt frustrated because I felt like my ideas in a certain area were being overlooked. However, when I least expected it, an old idea that I barely muttered was revived and used (and thank goodness they gave credit where credit was due). Life is rewarding.

3. About a week or two ago I had a wonderful experience...They say the best things in life are free. Well, there aren't any truer words. I found myself in the presence of two marvelous musicians at a sold out concert that I did not buy tickets to. Go figure! And all the while, I am sitting there at the concert pondering about love. Now granted, the concert featured Maxwell and Chrisette Michele so of course how could anyone not think about love? But what was different about this random pondering was that it lasted for a long time. I kept thinking about past relationships and current relationship-like situations (lol) and I couldn't help but feel a little sad. And then it came to me like an epiphany (ha!). When was the last time I was head over heels in love? Not in years. I miss that feeling. But of course, I know that I am truly loved by my family and friends. I know better not to force anything. But I think I'm ready for that butterflies-in-the-tummy feeling again. Life is love.

4. Yesterday while washing dishes I let my mind wander. I kept thinking about a situation that tested my principles. While I know that I navigated my way through it with class and sophistication...I couldn't help but giggle to myself about what I would have done had it happened to me 5 years ago. I thank God for my personal growth. Your personal standards and integrity are so very important. Don't compromise them for anyone. Life is the ultimate lesson.

5. Tomorrow I take another look at my finances. I have to make a decision about paying down debt and finding additional income. I worry a lot lately about finances. But I am learning to free myself from unsuccessful thoughts. So out the window goes the new pair of shoes I wanted for an upcoming event. Life is sacrifice, change, and challenges.

So it's August...already but I'm taking it all in stride because I'm living the heck out of life!

TTFN (Ta Tah for now!)

Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero – "seize the day and place no trust in tomorrow",

2009-06-26T07:01:00.000-07:00

Along with the rest of the world I am mourning the recent passing of the KING OF POP- Michael Jackson (age 50). All of the radio stations are playing his music and everyone is posting their favorite song and moment from his lifetime.

Along with most people in my generation...when I was growing up Michael was already a legend.. my first experience of Michael was on VHS. I watched the 2hr long movie featuring his videos and special concert moments over and over and over. I thought he was the coolest person alive...and he was.

Yesterday we also lost Farrah to cancer..and we also lost Ed McMahon. Before then we lost Bernie Mac. It seems like an unfortunate and ongoing trend of losing great talent so early in their lives.

But is it really a coincidence? Even though they are famous, they are people,-human and they share what we all have in common...an imminent demise. (sorry to be so morose)

But there is that nagging feeling that these artists these overwhelmingly great people are not here on this earth very long.

Are we just being selfish? Only wanting them to stay around for our very own enjoyment..possibly..who knows..but these are all questions that are swimming through my head at the moment.

There must be a study on the shortened life spans of the famous...

A quick search brought up this article:

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/the-price-of-fame-pop-stars-are-more-likely-to-die-young-463836.html#

This article is interesting because it at least points out the factors that lead to the famous dying young. The most obvious is drugs but they also list stress and risk-taking behavior. Many of the reasons why the famous are famous is because of their ability to take risks and put themselves out there. Unfortunately, stress and risk taking have their effects on quality of life and life span.

While we all take a moment to think about the wonderful contribution that Michael Jackson has made to this world...I hope everyone takes that very next moment to figure how they can eliminate unnecessary stress and improve their quality of life. We don't know when we will pass on but we do have control over how we enjoy the time that we are here.

Use your time wisely.

Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero – "seize the day and place no trust in tomorrow"

Pop Legend Michael Jackson Dead at 50 - Celebrity Gossip | Entertainment News | Arts And Entertainment - FOXNews.com

2009-06-26T06:35:00.001-07:00

Pop Legend Michael Jackson Dead at 50 - Celebrity Gossip | Entertainment News | Arts And Entertainment - FOXNews.com

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AVOIDING THE SUMMER CLICHE

2009-05-27T10:43:00.000-07:00

You know it burns me up every time I think about my BonaB's living without an updated blog from me. If you have been reading for a while you should know by now that I write when it's important and post when I am moved. As a result, I specialize in quality and minimize the pointless and random blogs just to say that I have updated it everyday.

However, there is much to much that has moved me lately not to address it and open the floor for official BONAB discussion.

The topic of discussion for day is (drum roll please):

SUMMER CLICHES (insert accent mark please)

What is a Summer cliche' you ask?

I'm happy to define it for you. The word cliche' is a french word that defines an expression that is used to the point where it loses its original meaning. Basically overdoing something so that it doesn't carry the same weight. You know the guy that always says something is beautiful...and he compliments you and says you are so beautiful and then he goes and pets a dog and say wow that's a beautiful dog..and you are left wondering whether or not you are being insulted?

That's a cliche'!

So of course my intelligent readers are now wondering what makes something a seasonal cliche' let alone a summer Cliche'??

Summer is a season that is often characterized by it's warm summer days, flowers in full bloom, and increased activity. .People are said to be more active around the summer time; participating in more leisure activities. The earth while in orbit is tilted closer to the sun...driving people temporarily insane and frantic and down right frisky (obviously my opinion).

Thus, therefore, and ergo (lol)...A summer cliche' is any activity, thought process, and/or attire that (while it once had some pertinence and depth)is now overused to the point of blandness.

Ladies and Gentlemen...I give you my top 5 Summer Cliche' list and their replacements (I wouldn't leave you hanging).

5. The maxi dress. My heart strings were pulled when I had to put this on the list. The maxi dress is my FAVORITE easy fashion piece. It's popularity grew at the end of Summer 2007 but was always popular for the Downtown Brooklyn Bohemian Princesses. They practically re-invented the dress LOL! But now every women's store carries a version of this dress from NY and Company, Banana Repub., Ashley Stewart, to Newport News, and even the mega discount store DOTS! I've gotten to the point that I wonder if women in NY have legs. Now don't get me wrong...you may still catch me on a lazy Sunday with this dress at the supermarket but I can no longer add this to my first line of fashion defense team (read: my fashion A-list).

THE MAXI DRESS REPLACEMENT= THE MAXI SKIRT. Yes...replace the dress add a skirt and add a contrasting top and match it with sandals. Same "I look great without trying look" but now it packs a punch. If you can't let go of the maxi dress at least get the mid-calf maxi in two contrasting colors (one of my favorite BonaB's rocked this well last weekend! Go Girl!).

4. Barbecues where guests come empty handed....(I'm sure my great backyard owner's will feel me on this). Every year you know that your friends will look to you to have the most fab-tastic BBQ in the summer. They ask you about it for weeks and give you the ultimatum "Let me know before I go away on vacation..." Then you commit to a date and $500-$1,000 and a week of preparation later you have it. Your guests come, they eat, and then they leave you with the mess to clean up. LOL. Now everyone knows there is a recession going on. Why do this to yourself? Have a list of items and ask people to add to the fun. Now most kind guests like myself will ask "Do you need anything?" but let's be honest....not everyone does that. So this Summer...throw out the "YOU DO EVERYTHING BBQ" and bring in the "I CAN BRING BBQ".
Trust me you'll thank me for it ;-)

3. The # 3 summer cliche' is ending a relationship because everyone outside is naked or close to naked. Chances are they are naked trying to attract you because they screwed up over the winter time....Approach with caution.

CLICHE' REPLACEMENT:Suck it up and go on vacation with ol'faithful. If you were already single beware of the newly single. They are a dangerous group. again APPROACH with Caution.

2. Starting a brand new work out regime in the summer....

Replacement: Start in September...the gym is empty. LOL

1. WORKING TOO MUCH...Seriously.. if you work hard you need to play hard. Don't let the summer pass you by. ;-)

Till next time!

Mwah!

Atlanta Style Examiner: Jeweler David Yurman yanks Atlanta's chain

2009-05-21T10:03:00.001-07:00

Atlanta Style Examiner: Jeweler David Yurman yanks Atlanta's chain

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My Review

2009-04-30T07:19:00.001-07:00

Metrostyle

Love this Dress!

Bourgeoisie on a Budget! New York. NY 4/30/2009

Pros: Color is vibrant, Fit of the dress is great

Cons: none

Best Uses: Luncheon, Going for Brunch, Work

I used this dress for a luncheon at a conference and it was a hit.

()

Ahhhh and in comes the Spring... 10 things needed to enjoy it to the fullest

2009-03-24T18:13:00.000-07:00

Hello my dears! I hope life is treating you well. Last week we ushered in Spring and bid a farewell to an eventful winter. And while the weather is still quite frigid (at least in NY)...change caresses my face with every sun kissed breeze.

Here are 10 B.On.A.B ways to bring in the Spring with a bang!

1. Get a Bright New Smile. Coffee and winter foods stain the teeth. Be sure to visit the dentist and snag a tube of Crest Extra Whitening paste.

2. If you are trying to get in shape for the coming summer months, set realistic goals/expectations for weight loss. Meet with your doctor, personal trainer, and or nutritionist at least once to set you on the right path. Don't overdo it!

3. Take advantage of online savings passes and free shipping offers. Monitor prices and weigh your options. Chances are you will find great deals on the clearance page of your favorite store's website. Add in a savings pass for even more savings!

Great online stores: http://www.piperlime.com/ , http://www.shopbop.com/ , and of course http://www.bluefly.com/ .

4. Make sure your Spring ensembles have the three essentials: FIT, FLARE, and COLOR!! While the winter season was all about texture and coordination...the Spring season is all about FFC.

Fit- Adjust your wardrobe and make sure it still fits and flatters your body. If it doesn't, launder it and donate it to charity!

Flare- Flare is so essential. The easiest way to ad flare is to wear a bold accessory that makes the outfit pop!. A great set of bangles, an ornate ring, or a pair of exotic earrings can spice up an outfit and make it look brand new.

CAVEAT: Be sure to focus on one accessory per outfit (until you become a pro). Matching sets are okay most of the time but make sure your accessories don't detract or over power the ensemble. (Photo Credit: Seth Wenig/Associated Press)

Color- Google the "color wheel/spectrum" and find out what colors naturally complement each other. If you are color clueless, try adding in one bold color to a monotone outfit before getting into color/pattern combos. For those with a little more savvy, find a bottom that has a trendy pattern and match it with a top that is the same color of the color that is least used in the pattern.

Check out this cool outfit from Banana Republic. It totally has FFC. Notice how the blazer isn't too tight. Be sure to buy a blazer one size up if you plan to layer and to avoid the muscle arm look. Notice how the model is able to roll up her sleeves and make this work-appropriate look a bit more casual. The flare comes in with the accessories...the belt and cashmere scarf. Small touches like a funky scarf or belt can really pull an outfit together. Finally, the burst of color...Banana Republic calls this bright delight: BLUE HEAVEN...Amen to that!

5. Change your space!!! Whether its a new living room layout or moving the angle of your computer at work, try to de clutter and rearrange. Need some inspiration? Visit http://www.hgtv.com/

6. GET OUT! It's still pretty chilly but throw on a jacket and get some midday sun (of course you should still be using sunscreen). The sun has mood elevating power. Grab a little sun and a lot of fresh air and boost your mood. It's free!

7. Get PROFESSIONAL HELP! If you've canceled your standing appointment for pedicures since last September...I wouldn't tackle your talons alone. Go get a professional manicure and pedicure and tip your favorite file wielding manicurist!

8. Evaluate your relationships/friendships. Cut any hurtful, negative, or stagnant relationships. Use the improving weather to go out and meet new people. Go network!

9. Organize your budding social calendar. Now of course just about everyone organizes using an electronic device (blackberry..the like) but with all of the technology one yearns for that personal touch. Paper and pen gives a personal touch and a realistic visual of your daily tasks. Not to mention it makes a fabu vintage fashion statement. Snag a suede journal and make a TO Do list or grab a beautiful Franklin agenda from Target. Cheap and printed on recycled paper...It's a win win.

<---Check out this cute journal from Target for $9.99

10. And last but not least. Try something new. No matter what it is..explore life and all it has to offer!

Mwah! TTFN (Tah Tah for now)

Charity On A Budget

2009-03-02T20:55:00.000-08:00

It is sooooo imperative to me to make my mark in this world and to positively affect the people that I share this earth with. Sometimes its hard. I have a long list of people that if I had a lapse of judgement I would step on their toe. But I know better. I prefer to let them know that their actions don't rank high with me by not stooping to their level (also a difficult task). I am stubborn and head strong so of course I wouldn't let them sway me from being positive.

Lately, feelings of discontent have been filtering its way into my usually happy demeanor. "What's up?" I silently asked myself.

Digression in 5 4 3 2 1... Late Discovery! Ever take a quick moment to ask yourself why you are feeling the way you are feeling and what's causing the feeling? Taking an extra 5 minutes to ask yourself this question, reveals a whole lot. Call me an overthinker, but as of late, the moment I have a feeling that I don't like, I ask myself these questions. Next thing you know, the feeling has subsided.

Alright, and we're back...

So after thinking about it for an hour or so, I realized that I have been upset because one of my major goals is currently and temporarily impeded. This has left me feeling discouraged, disheartened and frankly ungrateful. Why is it that when you have a goal in mind and can't achieve it right away, all of your other accomplishments take a back seat...almost as if they don't exist. Such a tragedy.

I decided that it was time to refocus and channel my energies towards what I can accomplish right now...being a positive influence in the world that I live in. I devote several hours a week to community service through an international service organization. By forwarding the efforts of this organization I am able to make an impact on the local community. However, I feel the need to magnify my efforts. There is nothing like helping someone else in need to make you appreciate what and how much you have.

There are so many people that have been long affected by poverty and misfortune way before the economy fell. There is no better way to refocus my energy and life strategy then to turn down the volume on my concern for my own welfare and worry about something greater than myself.

I took my usual approach to achieving this goal:

1. Brainstorm
2. Organize
3. Set the Goal
4. Come up with a Strategy
5. Execute
6. Review and Regroup

Brainstorm- I pondered, and came up with a short list of issues that I wanted to impact positively. They include:

-Poverty In America- I never understood how the U.S. government sends so much aid to other countries and there are people in need right here. I know they must help out as a world power and I totally agree with that, but there is so much that can be done in our own backyard.

-HIV/AIDS. Somehow, I naiively thought that the stats on new cases have gone down tremendously. Silly me. They're still climbing. Women, men and children are dying from this disease in alarming rates. I am shocked that we are still on this "They look clean" sham.

- Obesity- This is a killer and so many people don't know realize it. I'm down to aid awareness any way I can.

-Energy Conservation- with all of the going green efforts, do I really need to say more?

-Africa- Specifically, Nigeria, Although I wasn't born there, I would like to do more for the country that gave me my father.

So that's my list of areas that I would like to impact.

Organize. Since there are 5 things that I'd like to focus on and 10 months left in the year, I figured I would focus on each goal for two months.

My GOAL: To bring about awareness to each cause and donate (and encourage others) to donate to one (researched) charity that serves that cause.

My Strategy: Utilize facebook and my current networks to magnify my efforts. If I can get one person to match my donation effort...I've doubled the positive impact.

Execute: I will create an informal giving circle (http://nonprofit.about.com/od/fundraising/p/givingcircles.htm)on facebook and right here on BonaB so that anyone who feels a sense of commitment to helping can join!

Review: I will humbly ask that anyone who plans to join me..let me know they are participating so that I can keep a record of how many people supported the cause.

Finally, I am on a budget. I know that I can't cure all of the world's ills. I can only budget $100 to this effort ($10 a month or $20 per cause) but I won't let that stop me from using that extra money to help someone in need and gain a greater sense of self and a greater appreciation for all that God's blessed me with.

Will you join me?

So this is my fault?

2009-02-22T17:52:00.000-08:00

First and foremost...FORGIVE ME. I should not have left you without at least a word, a smoke signal, a sign that I was alive and doing well.

It's not that I haven't had the impetus to write. Quite the contrary! I have been wanting to write, to speak, to release about so many things.

Unfortunately, that means I need to unload in random!

So here it goes. The top topics that are on my mind at a given time.

Why is knowledge so liberating and yet such a burden. My mom always told me "If you know better, do better". But lately I can't fight the desire to leave people to their own devices. Why do I have to know better? I am glad that I am educated, have a strong sense of self, and enough confidence for two people (so I've been told). But why do those who have yet to take advantage of their potential become my burden? Before you call me obnoxious or the like...Think about it. This has probably happened to you. Do you ever find yourself making decisions for other people on the road? Coercing them to do the right thing? Like getting over so that they can stop riding your tail. Or slowing down so that they can feel comfortable that you are not racing them?

Do you ever find yourself in an almost empty clothing store and then someone comes and stands behind you and stares aimlessly as you make your choice and then when you walk away they select the same item?

Although sometimes its okay, don't you hate it when someone waits until you say something to declare "That's what I was thinking!" or " Your name here said this so...."

As of late, this is getting on my last nerve. Why are people afraid to speak, think, or choose for themselves? What happened to individuality and KNOWLEDGE of self? Did the economy damage our self esteem to the point where we wait for someone else to tell us what to think? Or is it me? Is it my fault that I am just discovering that so many people are suffering of GROUP THINK? That I am just figuring out that the world is High School?

2. It must be my age but I am starting to detest gossip. This past weekend so many people have asked me about my private life and the private life of my family that I feel like I am being watched. Usually, I would just chalk this up to paranoia but when your fear is confirmed saying that I am paranoid is null and void. In the words of W. Williams "I'm relevant".

3. Circuit City's out of business sale was bananas b-a-n-a-n-a-s! I almost got the Zune I wanted but sadly...it was putrid pink. Thank goodness because I don't need nor want a pink Zune.

4. Negativity is negative. Meaning it takes away from something. I need to keep everything that is positive in my life. So I have begun to tell people "YOU KEEP IT". Keep your negativity, spite, and malicious thoughts...I don't need it. But thanks.

5. A sense of humor has gotten me through so much. If I am laughing (LOL) just let me.

6. I have a strange ear. Figuratively, I like what I like. Sometimes I like songs for weird moments or just the beat alone.

7. CAKEMAN RAVEN ROCKS.

8. I need tinted windows. This is going to happen soon. I don't know why I didn't just get them when I bought the car. SIGH.

9. I now understand why celebrities wear shades. Some moments, even in public, are private.

10. Judgement should be reserved for God.

Thank you and good night!

Late Discoveries

2008-12-28T18:24:00.001-08:00

I love to discover new things in old things. Whether it's a musical artist I've never heard, a restaurant I've never tried, or a part in a movie that I may have missed the first time, it brings me great joy to stumble upon these plain sight treasures.

So today I am stuck in bed courtesy of the flu and rather than let my migraine, aches and pains, stuffy nose, and fatigue get to me, I am going to list some of the wonderful late discoveries that bring me joy. :-)

1. The Dark Knight. Okay so this is one of the best Batman movies ever. I went to see this movie the first day it was out and sat and watched the movie from start to finish without taking my eyes off the screen. So when I rented it this weekend, I was surprised when I noticed something that I didn't catch the first time I saw the movie. I am referring to the scene where the Joker is heading to the hospital to turn Harvey Dent into a bad guy. The Joker is dressed in a nurse's uniform (which was hilarious) and sits next to Harvey. The Joker gives this "apology" for blowing up his girlfriend Rachel and launches into a convincing argument that leads to Harvey's war path. While he is in mid-rant the camera focuses on the nurse's uniform just enough that you can see that the Joker is wearing a "Vote for Harvey Dent" sticker. This was such a great comedic touch. I'm glad I caught it!

Check out this clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3OueDLQ23o to see what I mean.

2. The Roots. (Dodging Tomatoes and balled up Snickers wrappers...I know I know I'm late). I had a rare opportunity to watch a soul stage marathon on VH1 this week and to my delight I ran into yet another "Late Discovery" the hip hop group The Roots. I have seen a video or two before but I never really experienced their music. They're HOT! I researched the group and learned that they have been out since 1993 or so.

Check them out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7FDUBC40IY

3. Reed Diffusers. Okay so this is the latest craze in the air freshener industry. So I am not entirely late on this one. However, I tried the Bath & Body Works rendition on Reed Diffusers and I was pleasantly surprised. The only major drawback is that after a few days the scent dissipates. I think that the Airwick scents last longer but reed diffusers are a pretty alternative for your office/home.

4. NETFLIX. Okay so I have been a netflix user for a year now. I love it! But I did not realize that there are a plethora of aerobic dvds available. Workout dvds are usually around $15-$20 bucks each. I tend to use them for a month or two and then get tired of the workout. Now that I have learned about Netflix's array of workout videos, I can work out to a different dvd every week for $8 a month.... SORRY BILLY!

TO BE CONTINUED!

Sorry folks, I feel another Tylenol induced slumber coming on.

TTFN

All I want for Christmas

2008-12-08T21:02:00.000-08:00

Season's Greetings!

It's been an exciting year filled with so many wonderful happenings. I had a wonderful birthday (just in case you wanted to know). My thanksgiving was pretty low-key yet very enjoyable.

BTW. My financial planning is going extremely well. I am on my way to becoming debt free and more financially stable than ever before. I must say the sacrifice has been just that. However, I'm committed to my choice and I can't wait to experience every success.

So now I am getting ready for Christmas. I love Christmas for so many reasons but my number one reason for loving Christmas is because of what the holiday symbolizes. We give to each other because Jesus' birth gave the ultimate gift to us. And whether or not you believe or if you are of another faith...charity and giving translates into being human.

I give gifts to my nearest and dearest to let them know that I appreciate them and I appreciate their role in my life. I love receiving gifts because of the very same reason. I feel loved, appreciated and cherished.

I remember when I was a very little girl I used to gather all of the Christmas catalogs and select what gifts I wanted most. I would dog ear the page my desired gift was on. Once I selected all of the gifts that I wanted, I created the ultimate wish list. Finally, I would deliver the list to my mom with a broad smile across my face.

My mom would look at the list and smile right back at me. Til this day I haven't perfected an impression of this smile but it clearly conveyed "You adorable child, you'll get many presents but I'll choose them and you will be happy with them because I said so".

And every Christmas, like clockwork...once I saw the gifts that my mom purchased for me I quickly forgot about whatever I had on my list. "How did she always know what to get me?" I finally asked.

She simply replied "I get you something you need, something you want, and something that will last".

After that year, I stopped writing wish lists. I realized that it was limiting and rude. The people who love you most know what you need, what you want and what you will treasure for a lifetime.

So Mom,Dad. Thanks for the unconditional love (something I need), PJ Sparkles, Nintendo, and the pink and white Barbie Dream house with the motorized Purple Mercedes (hey I wanted it), and finally those early morning Saturday courses at CW POST, Latin, the expensive Futurekids computer classes, and the love of learning and growing (tools that will last me a lifetime). I am forever indebted.

Enjoy your holiday :-)

Here is PJ Sparkles. She was the best.

I had the pink and white version but I kid you not I am tearing up looking at the pics. My sister and I spent hours playing with this house. There was plastic food in the refridgerator and everything. The only thing that was weird about the house was that there were no stairs for Barbie to get to the second floor. Weird right? LOL!!

FASHION & POLITICS A brief musing

2008-11-14T11:25:00.000-08:00

It’s been forever since we last spoke! I have to admit that my life has been uber busy and hectic as of late. But I thought about you all often.

So what’s new?!

Ahh first and foremost we have a new president elect! I’m elated that America saw it fit to elect such an extraordinary and unique candidate. The icing on the cake is that he and his family are completely in tune with fashion, style, and budgets LOL!

Although Mrs. Obama took a lot of criticism for the November 5th red and black satin dress, she has always done an excellent job with her ensembles. In fact, I am not among those who abhor the outfit. Oh contraire! I like the statement. I would have preferred a different color choice but the texture mix of the dress documents (oh so nicely) what’s going on in America today (fashion and politics an unlikely couple).

Okay, so it’s NOVEMBER, prime fall season. Usually in the fall people lose the vibrant colors in exchange for the rich charcoals, browns, tans, and of course the ominous black. The winter months, due to the climate, encourages conservative color and dress. Out goes the mood lifting yellows, pinks, and pastels. SIGH :-(

But alas, this winter, the powers that be (the almighty fashion designers) saw it fit to inject voluminous color, pattern, and texture into their fall lines. As a result, I have gasped in awe and delight at the vibrant royal blues, plums, golds, suedes, leather, hound’s-tooth, and vivid cranberries I see prancing down the street. I even see pumpkin colored ensembles, and apple green mixes that really pop!

Knits and leopard, Satin and Suede, Paisley and well Paisley have inspired me and kept me in high spirits.

I don’t know who to thank for this perfectly printed fashion world but I embrace the change. It really seems like the masses have let go of the shades of gray and embraced a more liberal styling.

Funny coincidence ay?

Can a perfectionist be an optimist? I’m cautiously optimistic.

2008-10-23T14:33:00.000-07:00

I’ve been pretty down lately. The clear signs are my change in eating, exercise habits (or lack thereof), and incessant shopping (lol okay so that might just be me all the time!). I disclosed two blogs ago about something I perceived as a failure and personal flaw. I must admit after I wrote about it I felt great and better about it. But then the symptoms came back. I’m not dieting as I should and I am beating myself up over what I consider a failure. I could just chalk this up to a temporary mood swing except I know better. Something is wrong when I wasn’t able to TRULY enjoy a recent success that I experienced. I’m happy about it, but I am really not basking in the glow of this major success. I’m just okay with it. That’s not like me. I usually celebrate every success just as hard as I worked towards it. Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for that success but something just doesn’t seem right.

The horrible secret everyone has been keeping from me. PAY ATTENTION…Someone might be trying to tell you something.

Like a wet armpit stain on a princess cut, solid colored Express blouse your personality is noticeable. Your friends know the ins and outs of what makes you, you. But very often, they won’t tell you (at least not directly) that there may be something wrong with your personality. Only their reactions to you leave you clues of how you affect people. Positively or negatively. It goes both ways.

CLUE #1 My friends avoid giving me negative feedback like the plague. So afraid of my reaction or relentless effort to “fix it” they simply find positive things to say or say nothing at all. Great friends right?! Yea, I love them a lot. But that’s not conducive to my growth.

CLUE #2 Often, I am told “Wow you put a lot of effort into that…I wasn’t expecting that much.” Or “It doesn’t have to be perfect.” The latter statement irks my inner core. Of course things don’t HAVE to be perfect…but does that mean you don’t try to achieve it (still rolling my eyes).

CLUE#3 I am often given sensitive/detail-oriented projects at work.

CLUE#4 I procrastinate until I know the perfect method of execution.

CLUE#5 My mantra is Go hard or Go Home. All or nothing!

If you haven’t guessed it by now, I’m a textbook perfectionist. Today I typed in perfectionist in Wikipedia and my jaw dropped. Yes I’ve been called a perfectionist before (many times now that I think of it) but never had I really reviewed the true DSM-IV-esque definition of it. I either take it as a compliment or just ignore it completely. This was the horrible secret everyone has been keeping from me-yet hinting at.

Could I be this bad? I don’t find similarities with all of the description but there are many that had the ring of truth. Truthfully, I am still shocked at what I read. I immediately took one of the quizzes the wikipedia entry suggested. The results confirmed my friends’ assertion. I am a (sigh) perfectionist.

What does that mean you say? It means that I am overly critical of myself. I weigh every setback and imperfection as a failure on my part. I am a workaholic. I stress often and plan incessantly. “Go with the flow” is counterintuitive for me. Criticism is a fate worst than death and my standards are high. (taking a deep breath)

But there is a bright side. Oh yes. As much as I am a perfectionist I am a STRONG believer in positive thinking. It is my belief that impossible is just a synonym for difficult. I see great things in everyone I meet even those I can’t stand (very short list). And although I criticize my work/self, I tend to reserve judgment on other people and their decisions.

So here I am a complete and utter paradox in need of some skirts, tops, and a new express blouse (figuratively speaking).

I’ll keep you updated!

Random side note: NEW OUTLET ON LONG ISLAND IN DEER PARK I CAN”T WAIT TO GET OVER THERE! Okay, I’m on a budget so I will wait for some sales.

FACE IT!

2008-09-18T11:33:00.001-07:00

FACE IT!

Change is so necessary. The seasons change. People change (when they want to). The world changes. Change is the only constant. So no matter what changes you are going through be sure to put your best face forward. My mom always says…no one should be able to tell what you are going through from the way you look. “Groom for the outcome.”

If you read my last post, you already know that I am positioning myself for a grand outcome (you know me…if it ain’t grand, flashy, and femme…I don’t want it). The sacrifice has been just that, a sacrifice but thanks to reassuring words from loved ones I am gracefully accepting the changes (with a few woe is me moments every now and then!).

But enough about me (I could go on for days if you let me LOL), how are we going to get you ready for this changing season?

Ooo Ooo I know, a FACIAL!! Great skin helps you face anything and with the changing weather now is a good time to get your daily regimen in check.

I found this great article by Jen Adkins about getting ready for the fall. Take a look:

http://skincare.about.com/od/skin101/tp/SkinCareTipsForFall.htm

Our pal Jen gives great advice on skin care. The ten steps are great. Here are the ten tips she gives for great fall skin with the Bourgeoisie on a Budget Product match-up. Enjoy!

1.Reassess Your Body Cleanser. - Basically you shouldn’t smell like Summer Rain in the fall. You also need more moisture. TRY: Aveeno Moisturizing Body Wash. It smells great and feels even better. ALSO TRY: markSanctuary…great stuff!

2.Try an Oil-based scrub. Basically, don’t scrub your skin off. Since you probably need it in the winter. TRT: Warm Spirit Body Scrubs (heaven in a jar) ALSO TRY: PlanetSpa Brown Sugar Body Scrub with Shea Butter (Sheba baby!)

3.Moisturize every single day. This really shouldn’t be a rule. I hope you don’t leave your house ashy. TRY: Vaseline with Cocoa Butter. I love it. ALSO TRY: Vaseline Age Renewal. It smells great.

4.Analyze your skin. Your skin type changes with the weather. Duh?! TRY: Neutrogena skin products. They have a great range ALSO TRY: Avon by Shola…There is a feature on the Anew Skincare page that picks skin care products specifically for you and all you do is answer a few questions.

5.Organize your Skincare. Great job with this one Jen! Buying a line of products helps you to organize your skin care. Don’t exfoliate too much! Face masks once a week! TRY: Avon Professional line which is reasonably priced. ALSO TRY: Ambi line of products.

6.Don’t forget Sunscreen. In case you didn’t know the sun doesn’t go away in the fall. TRY: MAC foundation with SPF in it…I heart MAC but I sleep with a PC. J (No really as of late…with all the work that I have been doing…my laptop has been snuggling up next to me at night).

7.Remember Your Feet. There is usually an email that goes around during the spring that warns women (especially) about taking care of their feet before wearing sandals. It’s funny and all but I wonder why wait until spring? Why just women? Usually it’s easy to neglect your feet when they are stuffed in stockings and/or socks but try to avoid it. Save money by maintaining your pedicure at home and going maybe once a month to the salon. Get a sheer polish so that it is easier to maintain (less noticeable chips). Put a pumice stone in the shower. They shouldn’t cost more than a $1 (see your favorite 99 cent store). Well maintained feet = less runs in stockings from sharp toes. Tee hee!

8.Invest in Cuticle Oil. (Running out to get some today!)

9.Ditch the Pastel Polish. TRY: A sheer plum. Plum is the new red…so I hear.

10.Indulge in a New Hand Cream. This tip should read: “Head to Bath & Body Works, savings pass in hand and rack up on Midnight Pomegranate, Japanese Cherry Blossom, and the like” Get the crèmes and body soufflé’s. They also have lots of stuff for the men. Got to love a man with manicured and moisturized hands.

And that is all.

And now for my favorite quote “Love. Live Life. Pro-ceed. Pro-gress.” –Lil Wayne.

I heart you all. I really do. Thanks for reading.

TTFN!

Taking a Step Back in order to Leap Forward

2008-09-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

Runners do it. Why can’t I?

I mentioned to you all that I have a background in management and according to my last performance review I’m pretty great at it. There’s just one problem. My extremely organized and logical approach to my work and my other passions (marketing, etc.) does not always translate into other aspects of my life.

Let me give you an example of my latent OCD. I get about 100 emails per day. That’s just the nature of my job. Despite that, my inbox remains clean. Not one email stays in my inbox for over 5-10mins. I triage each email into one of several folders. I then assign it a priority color code. All red items are handled within the hour. Blue Items I am waiting on a response from someone else before I can answer and Orange Items are FMI (just for my information). I archive each week and respond even if it is to say “Report complete.” Or a simple “Confirmed.” This creates a record that I have completed everything that I was supposed to do for this particular case/issue. So in the event (because it happens so often) that I need to provide a status I can type in “confirmed” or “complete” and everything I have done for the week pops up.

I share this with you not for you to laugh at me (although I am sure you are anyway. it’s okay), but to convey that when it comes to work and my passions I am meticulous. And when it comes to everything else, I am completely relaxed.

So what’s the problem you ask?

Finances. My dear Watson. Finances.

I take extreme care with Other People’s Money and I am COMPLETELY relaxed when it comes to large ticket items (car, apartment, etc.). This is part of the reason that I created Bourgeoisie on a Budget. My goal is to continue to live well using less and helping others to do the same. Simply put, I want to eat my cake, save some for later, and sell the rest for a reasonable profit.

These past few weeks, I have seriously examined my expenditures in comparison to my life goals. My findings? I am accepting less, not SERIOUSLY working towards my dream of more, because of my fear of sacrifice. Confused? Let me clarify point by point.

I AM ACCEPTING LESS

Taking anything that is less than your ideal is accepting less. It is okay to do it temporarily but getting caught in the cycle of accepting less than what you really want/need is counterproductive and addictive. (I’m tempted to give relationship advice here but since I do not have the appropriate degree, and it’s completely off subject…I will happily refrain.)

NOT SERIOUSLY WORKING TOWARDS MY GOAL OF MORE

By accepting less, I am not saving towards the more that I require out of life. It’s like buying a closet full of Baker’s when what you really wanted was a pair of Manolo’s. If you would have stopped buying all that Baker’s (or bought one pair) and saved the rest of your income…you probably could have gotten what you initially wanted. (I am not opposed to Baker’s people I just needed a plausible analogy). Furthermore, by limiting yourself to Baker’s and only shopping there… you are not keeping track of you initial goal and you lose the opportunity to get the Manolo’s on sale at Bluefly!

So what’s a girl to do?

Well, first I called my financial advisor (I’m so happy she remembered that I was alive!) and came clean. I told her what my goals were and she promised to help me reach them. I plan to meet with her in two weeks. By then I am supposed to have a fully worked out budget to propose to her. I received in the mail two days after our chat, a wonderful worksheet that will help me put together my budget.

Second, I made a drastic move. Literally, I got rid of my biggest liability (and one of my biggest joys) in order to realize my personal financial goal. While tears, extreme pouting, and worrying were apart of the transition, I knew this was a necessary change that I had to make. If something is not contributing to your goals, it may very well be an obstacle. And if it is an obstacle you need to remove it.

Third, after I finish posting this blog…I am going to research every step it takes to get to my goal. This will serve as my check list to success.

Side Note: Since my drastic move was bound to make some people criticize my decision, I didn’t tell many people. Sometimes a random opinion can keep you from doing what is necessary. An opinion is exactly what it is…nothing more. Sometimes I forget that.

While shopping the other day (don’t worry it was for necessities AND I had a savings pass!), I thought about the Olympics track and field events. I remember watching each runner go through their own funny routine before they got “on their mark”. Every runner did it. Every runner had their own routine and could care less that the world was watching them shake their leg three times, roll their head from side to side, take a step back and then flail their arms front and back. And although, it was funny to watch, no one laughs. No one laughs because the understanding is that the runner is preparing for the race of their life. So who the hell cares what they need to do before hand to get ready for it. All that matters is the success waiting at the end of the race.

Make your sacrifices without others in mind...ALL THAT MATTERS is the success at the end of the race.

TTFN!

Soundtrack to Summer 2008

2008-08-21T20:47:00.000-07:00

So a few years back MTV had televised VJ auditions. At that time I as a devoted TRL fan, watched religiously to see who the next MTV VJ would be. I remember sitting through each episode of the auditions. They seemed to go on forever with round after round.

All of a sudden one of the contestants said something so prolific. He was a stocky young black gentlemen who clearly had a love for all types of music. Because when he was asked "What does music mean to you?", he responded 'Music has always been there for me through good and bad times...Music is my soundtrack to life.'

Wow I thought...

"Music is the soundtrack to life."

I remember sitting there completely shocked. I remember wondering if he simply regurgitated that line from some album or something, but when I searched for the quote I came up empty. He just literally free styled one of the hottest lines I have ever heard. Although he never did win the job on MTV, he won my respect that day and forever changed my feelings towards music.

No matter what you are going through in life there is a song that covers the topic or captures the moment perfectly. My summer has been an experience that I will never forget. I had moments of triumph, defeat, laughter, love, and sheer bliss. Here are a few songs that helped complete every summer moment:

BABY by LL Cool J and Dream. I do the mean wop every time this song comes on! In the car, while I'm cleaning up the house, at a BBQ or a Beach Party. Every Friday, leaving work I put on my shades and drive around the corner. Once I get two traffic lights away from the office I BLAST this song. It's a celebration for another work week well done. Then later, as I get ready to make an entrance to an after work social of some sort...I play this song again lol. I am absolutely tempted to "Call the radio and tell 'em it's my song!"

GOLDEN by Chrisette Michele. Hmph :-) "No comment." This song always leaves me speechless. Here's a link to the song. If you don't have this album, consider yourself temporarily insane and then go to http://www.amazon.com/ for the cure. Can't wait for your next album -Chele! (Saw her in concert this summer. She was Fab!)

Summer Rain by Carl Thomas. A summer classic. When are you coming to NY Carl? http://www.ticketmaster.com/ . This song always brings me back to Summer 2000. A summer of change, a summer of love and a summer of accomplishment. I still play this album to conjure up fond memories.

Miss Independent by Ne-Yo. Not only is the video reminiscent of Boomerang (nice touch!). But I love the way Ne-Yo writes his songs. Very fluid. He's a storyteller. Miss Independent sounds like a conversation he is having with his friends. Very cool. Oh yea. This is clearly my Monday morning commute song.

Music for Love by Mario. The base line on this song is SICK! The metaphors are steamy and Mario's crooning is the sure sign of maturity. Isn't that what summer is all about? (maturity I mean lol).

Girls Around the World by Lloyd. Cool video. Gimmicky but hey its a cute BBQ song. Should be played right after "Summertime" by Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff -the all time summer classic.

Lil Wayne....ANYTHING. Why is it that every time I turned on the radio this summer I heard Lil Wayne? Not that I don't like Wayne...I just don't want to turn to every radio station and hear the same song over and over again. In any case I heart "Mr. Carter" and my absolute favorite song from his latest album is "Comfortable" that features BABYFACE. If you can get Babyface on your hook nowadays. KUDOS. It's not like he needs the money LOL! Also, this song features a very hot line "Love. Live life. Proceed. Progress." Try and catch it in the song!.

There's more that made it to my play list this summer. But these few songs will hold a special place in my heart as my soundtrack to Summer 2008.

What's on your Summer 08 Soundtrack?

Honorable Mention: Summer 2007 ALL TIME R & B SONG....BED by J. Holiday. I really bought the album on the strength of that song! LOL. Shout out to Dream....

Purple Kisses! (another song by The Dream...just in case you didn't know)

I would be remiss not to mention...

2008-08-10T22:02:00.000-07:00

...that I was glued to the television today; watching some of my favorite athletes achieve their dreams. I also became a huge fan of Mr Cullen Jones today. Not only for his achievement today in the relay but for bringing much needed attention to the fact that parents must teach their children how to swim.

Every summer I hear about a poor child who has drowned or nearly drowned in a pool or at the beach. My first reaction is to admonish the parents..."where were you? why weren't you watching your child?" But, my reaction has changed when I heard about the nanny who died trying to save a child. The problem isn't always the parents or care takers. The problem is simply not knowing how to swim.

I learned how to swim at age 4. My mom enrolled my sister and I into one of the only predominantly African-American swim teams around at the time. The first thing I remember learning was to respect the water. I learned how to get in the water properly and to get out of the water properly to prevent injury. I swam competitively until the age of 15.

This is important only for understanding my POV. I am still shocked that there are so many children who don't know how to swim. I liken this to not learning how to ride a bike or roller skate (even though I suck at it...at least I learned). When friends admit that they do not know how to swim, frankly, I'm perplexed.

In one conversation with a friend of mine I gained some insight...

"So what do you want to do for your birthday?" asks my friend.

"I dunno..something really small and simple. You know, nothing major." I reply.

"Oh yea? Like what?"

"Like a Cruise to the Caribbean or an all-inclusive spa weekend." I answered.

"That's small?!" my friend chuckles.

"Well I would really like to step out of some resort pool in November. That's a sexy thought." (FYI I tend to use sexy as an adjective in place of great, good, etc.)

My friend laughs out loud and then says "I'll have to watch because I don't swim."

" You don't what??? How old are you again? I don't believe this...I must teach you."

"Umm, I grew up in the hood...have you seen pools there lately?" my friend quickly replied with a slight edge in their voice.

I ignored the edge and pressed "Again...how old are you? EVOLVE."

**CAUTION** This is where I go off on a complete tangent bare with me folks.

Where or who (for that matter) you come from should never limit what you do or can do now. I absolutely abhor excuses that start off with "well where I come from..." or "I never experienced.." Are you kidding me? EVOLVE. Do what YOU do not what your PARENTS did. If you are a carbon copy then there is really no need for you to walk this planet.

I know that there are people out there who still try to judge people from what "cloth" they are cut from: what school they attended, what their parents do for a living, or where they live...

People who make superficial judgements like that are still trying to define themselves. They are depth less (is that a word? oh who cares I'm on a rant) and are simply projecting. Quit absorbing that mess and Reflect! Reflect that garbage off of you and keep it B.onaB.! okay?!

**COAST IS CLEAR**

I learned a great deal from this conversation with my friend. I learned that where you live can be a barrier to learning how to swim at a young age. I also learned that many people don't take time to learn how to swim after they have become adults. Yet, learning how to swim is very important to every child, teen, adult, and senior. It's a life saving tool that is impossible to unlearn. It's also very inexpensive to learn.

In fact, learning to swim (in most cases) costs less than a designer bathing suit. There are classes available at just about every YMCA and at just about every college/university. All it takes is a little research (I'm talking a phone call here people).

So before you book your next tropical get away or head into the water at the beach/pool please think about taking a few nights out of the week to learn how to swim. It could only save your life.

And just in case you need some stats... http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/factsheets/drown.htm

I'd like to dedicate this blog to my coach, Robert Trotman. Who always taught me to keep my head down and my eyes on the finish line.

I'd also like to extend my condolences to the families of

Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes

You will be missed.

TTFN!

These are a few of my favorite things..

2008-08-05T14:41:00.000-07:00

Mary Poppins was definitely onto something. Right now life is as hectic as can be. We are in a recession :-( and still in a losing (whenever lives are lost it's a loss in my book) battle overseas. And while I know that I will change things when I go and vote in November, sometimes the state of the world gets me down. But I refuse to stay that way.

::SINGING::

I just think about a few of my favorite things and then I don't feel soooooo BAAAADDD!

::Giving a Spirit Fingers finish:::

So here is a list of some of my favorite things under $20 (hello B.On.A.B!) that lift my mood.

10. NETFLIX- Nothing..absolutely nothing beats coming home after a long day at work to that wonderful red envelope in your mailbox. All of a sudden the world is okay. I snuggle up under my favorite blue and gold stadium blanket (Go PRIDE!) and forget my troubles for the next two and a half hours.

9. Riesling- RELAX . Yummy!

8. SUGAR BABY Bath products from Australia... Makes you feel delicious

7. Neutrogena LIP GLOSS...What can I say? If you love Carmex and MAC alike...you'll love this. It's soooo poppin.

6. RED VELVET Cake from Cake Man Raven...all 400 calories of it.

5. Love Spell by Victoria Secret. You can't be in a bad mood when you smell like Fruit Punch :-)

4. Warm Cream Pedicure from Red Door Spas! elizabetharden.com It's worth the extra $5 (it costs $25)

3. Stew Chicken and Rice & Peas from Road Runner of Hempstead, NY. This is only second to my mom's :-)

2. Eyebrow wax from Kurtis! Perfectly arched eyebrows really finish your look. He does an excellent job with my babies! And I'm not sharing him (I mean it!..see there is no link)

1. My mini Bible! Do I need to say more?

Stay tuned for my list for items under $100 (Michael Kors on sale with a unrestricted coupon from L & T here we come :-D )

Estelle Getty, Sophia from the Golden Girls, passes away at 84.

2008-07-22T12:20:00.001-07:00

Here is a link to the article. I have fond childhood memories of watching The Golden Girls with my mom and sister. I still quote her character's catch phrase "Picture it, Sicily, 1942" and watch reruns when they air on the Lifetime network.

Getty made a true impact on me. Her life is an example that it is never to late in life follow your dreams and be succesful.

Ms. Getty we will miss you terribly!

Are you there God? It's me Sholly

2008-07-18T14:34:00.000-07:00

I always look forward to my annual sorority beach party. The food is always delicious and the festivities always leave me in high spirits. This year I bought a friend with me to experience the fabulosity (love you Kimora! NH) that is the beach party. We planned to meet at noonish and head to the fest. My morning preparations could not have gone more smoothly. I planned to wear my favorite halter top swimsuit (as if I was going to get my freshly coiffed bob wet. ::scoff:: ) and over the suit I wore a great sand colored dress. In my Barbados Souvenir beach bag I packed:

-Sunscreen (Mary Kay has the best. second only to Avon but I’m biased lol)
-SSS bug spray (to keep the beach mosquitoes away)
- Anne Rice novel (I have to read this for book club)
- Uno Cards (for a mean game of drunken uno)
- Candy land beach towel (Very Retro-Sheik)
- Blue print Maxi Dress- Ladies if you don’t have at least 3 in your closet you really need to step your game up http://www.bluefly.com/ or http://www.victoriasecret.com/ or http://www.newportnews.com/ ) Maxis are the easiest dresses to rock with a pair of old Golden girls sun glasses and a pair of chancletas (sp??). Chancletas is onomatopoeia for flip flops or any noisy flat shoe. Named for the noise they make when you walk Chan-Cleta Chan-Cleta Chan-Cleta LOL
- Neutrogena Moisture Shine Glimmer 15 with SPF 20 (this lip gloss is popping! Stay tuned for my top lip gloss under $20 list)

I also brought with me six bags of ice and two large bottles of Arbor Mist to add to the festivities (didn’t have time to make my famous Strawberry Fruit Punch Margaritas).

So I get to the beach fashionably late as only I can do (4 hours late to be exact) and to my utter surprise all of the parking fields are closed except for Field #1. The party was closest to Field #5.

“Oh Dear..” I exclaimed. I didn’t want to alarm my guest so I added “Oh well Field 1 can’t be that far from Field 5. Up for a quick work out before we get there?”

“Not a problem.” He says. (What a great person I thought).

We drive to field 1 and low and behold. I couldn’t be any more wrong! We drove for a good 10 minutes with quite a few other cars to finally arrive at field 1.

My guest looked the way I felt…WORRIED. We get up to the parking attendant and ask “How long is the walk?”

The attendant simply replies “I wouldn’t do it.”

So with an awkward silence in the air I park the car closest to the direction of Field 5. I slowly turned to my guest with a classic damsel in distress look (and very genuine might I add) on my face and asked “What do you think we should do?”

He responded “Let’s sell the ice for a ride.” After we chucked about that he said “we can make it”

To that I said “Yes, we can.”

As I opened up the trunk to display the luggage that needed to come with us, I felt despair creeping up behind me. My friend and I divided the bags of ice the best we could. Being an absolute gentleman he insisted on carrying the extra bag with the two bottles of Arbor Mist. Being the perfect lady…I let him LOL

Optimistically, we journeyed off with heavy bags of ice on our shoulders and the blazing sun above us.

The journey began playfully. I mean, what could you do but laugh and poke fun at the situation? It didn’t seem like we would be walking for THAT long and it beat walking in the sand (alternate route that was quickly dismissed). So we made small talk and poked fun at our seemingly hopeless situation.

SIDE BAR: Before you think that the two of us were complete fools. We tried calling for help FIRST to no avail. Only I had service (thank you AT &T).

So we’re walking. And 5 minutes later we are still walking. 10 minutes later we reach a milestone. Oh hey look its Field 2! We’re making progress. My guest turns to me and smiles and says “Your dress is wet.”

“Huh?..Oh WOOOOW!” I replied and looked down at the hem of my dress. The ice was beginning to melt and seep through the bag. I then felt a shockingly cold stream run down my leg on to my foot. My face must have said it all…my guest starts laughing. As he laughs I notice that what he thinks might just be the cold of the ice on his pant leg is actually a pool of water gathering on his pants and shirt. I pointed…. “Look at your pants!” We began to laugh hysterically and managed to keep walking. We’ll be there soon enough.

Well 10 minutes turned into 20 minutes and all of a sudden we spot a deer crossing the road toward us!

“WTH?! Yo! Is that a deer? Wait don’t move.” He says.

A deer peeked out of the tall grass and came walking towards us from the other side of the road.

The deer crossed the street (safely thank God) and literally came within two feet of us. And I swear to you that for a quick instant I thought the deer was laughing at us on its way through to the other side of the beach.

“Was that deer laughing at us?” I asked.
“Hush you’re hallucinating.”

We pressed on.

Another ten minutes goes by (Yes people we’ve been walking for 30 mins) We get to Field 3. We saw a bus parked just a few steps ahead.

“Hey maybe we can catch the bus to Field 5!” I exclaimed and walked briskly to the bus.
When I got there I asked in the sweetest voice I could muster and asked the bus driver “Sir, do you go past field 5 by any chance…Can you take us?”

The bus driver looked at me as if it was the 50’s and said “I don’t go that way!” and shut the door. This was quite interesting because the driver was of Hispanic descent.

“Hey how long is it to Field 5?” we asked another field attendant.

“Another 2 ½ miles” he said then added “I wouldn’t lie to you” after he saw the look of shock on our faces.

We pressed on.

“My arms hurt” said my guest.

“Let me hold something else.” I offered. I took one of the bottles of Arbor mist and placed it on top of the melting ice. Both my right leg and his left were wet from melted ice.

Then out of no where the sidewalk disappeared. We walked in single file in silence as cars drove past us at 40-50mph. Again, my friend, being the gentlemen that he is kept a watchful eye as my gait kept leading towards walking in the middle of the road.

“Be careful, I don’t want you to get hit.” He said.

“I don’t care! Maybe if they hit me…we’ll get a ride to Field 5.” I whined as I staggered along. I was starting to lose hope but never thought to stop.

Finally I said “Let’s try someone else at the party.” I dropped the bag on the sand/grass and found my cell phone.

Ring Ring. “Hello? Sweetie is that you??? Why are you ditching the party? We’re having fun!”

“HELLLLP ME!!” I screamed “I’m AT THE damn party…been here for the last half hour or so I’m at Field 4 SEND HELP!”

“We’ll be right there!”

I let out a sigh. Help is coming. All I have to do is sit right here and they will come get us in their shiny car with the A/C blasting…OHHH YEAA (in my best Kool-Aid voice. Never drink that stuff it’s poison…just kidding… but no really stay off it people. because I still see the commercials so someone is still buying the stuff).

10 minutes later. Help arrives. But there is just one problem. WHERE IS THE CAR? What’s this? Why no car? Did you really come to save me on foot?

“Oh dear. Are you there God? It’s me…Sholly.”

My help came and they relieved my guest and me of the bags…for which I was COMPLETELY grateful. I didn’t realize how much easier it was to walk without bags of ice strapped to my back.

Finally we made it to Field 5 and low and behold….THEY REOPENED PARKING IN FIELD 5! I think I let out a dirty word or two under my breath and tossed my hair and continued on to the party. I pasted on a smile and helloed and how are you’d my way to the spread of BBQ goods and had a great time.

AND the rest is history. (I got a ride back to the car after the party)

Dear Summer…we always have memorable times!

Special shout out to:

My Angels You two know who you are.
The other half of the dynamic duo. You are the best.
The people on the road who passed us smiling waaaay to hard.
Shout out to the beach staff that opened up the parking at FIELD 5 WHEN WE FINALLY got there. You LINT LICKERS!

My Self-Help Summer...

2008-07-17T12:06:00.000-07:00

My Self-Help Summer

Summer is truly here…ask me how I know…go ahead ask me…No silly not because of the weather or the date…I know because I always fall into an introspective mood right around this time. As if the heat and atmosphere know that I need to fall back, regroup and refocus before winter. To satisfy my insatiable desire for self-improvement I have packed my night stand with the following Self-Help Books.

1. How to Talk with Practically Anybody about Practically Anything by Barbara Walters

Rationale: When I speak, people understand me or at least they appear to. However, I really would like to be able to have the ability to speak to anyone about anything. There are so many delicate situations and although I have found great ways to get handle them thus far…a few tips from Barb won’t hurt.

2. Why Smart People Do Stupid Things with Money by Bert Whitehead and Andrew Weil

Rationale: So I consider myself one of the smart ones. I do things that make sense and have even led others to the light. My background in business is a great help but sometimes I need help ditching those bad financial habits that I’ve learned from others (not going to say who). It is easy to do what is easy. It’s easy to fall for the tricks and traps of financing and commercial banking. I plan to successfully avoid any further financial traps and set up my financial freedom. Great read thus far.

3. Upstate by Kalisha Buckhannon

Rationale: Okay so if you are one of the swift ones, you are already wondering how this got on my self-help list. This literary journey took me so far away from my small and surmountable daily issues and promptly dropped me off in a peaceful and solution oriented state of mind. As a result of reading this novel, I was enriched. Let me explain. Upstate is a coming of age story set in Harlem but what happens there is something miraculous. Two lovers, both teens, trapped in prison…one prison is the penitentiary and the other prison is poverty. I refuse to spoil what happens but let’s just say this book is worth the ride and REAAALLLY makes you appreciate where you are in life. I closed the book and wiped a tear from my eye and said “Wow, I needed that.”

Next on my summer reading list:
48 Laws of Power (recommended by my sands)

Any other suggestions?

Coming soon (my four mile walk to the beach…)

SUPERMARKET SHUFFLE

2008-06-30T13:49:00.000-07:00

So I went running one morning in my favorite park. After a great work out I was starved beyond belief. I decided to make my way to the grocery store to pick some fresh items for a Strawberry Smoothie/Shake. I was looking for what I thought were ordinary ingredients that could be found in any supermarket.

Now, my favorite supermarket is Pathmark followed by Waldbaums (heard they bought out Pathmark…whoopee) and trailing in third, Stop & Shop (they claim to have great prices…still waiting, but I love their organic section).

That being said, Pathmark is about 2-3 miles from my abode and Waldbaums and Stop & Shop were equally far. In my effort to save gas and time, I decided to go to another Supermarket by the name of Associated. Now, usually I wouldn’t even pay attention to this place (I am very loyal to my Pathmark) but it was positioned well between the park and my house so I decided “what the hey?” how bad can it be? It appeared pretty clean from the outside, no block huggers in sight so I parked my car and marched in….

THE ABSOLUTE HORROR!

“What’s that smell?” I say “Has something died in here?” Ohhh nevermind, it was just the smell of fish on ice wafting from the back. I calm down and remind myself that I am only in here for three things: frozen strawberries, frozen (fat-free) yogurt, and some low-cal fruit punch/lemonade.

I walk directly towards the freezers to find the strawberries….What’s this? Where is the frozen fruit? I saw everything from popsicles (not so bad) to frozen quarter waters (thanks mom for never letting me imbibe such a concoction of sugar, water, and food coloring no matter how much I begged). I searched high and low and was beginning to get quite annoyed as I didn’t want to be late to work on account of a smoothie craving.

Letting out an exasperating sigh…I gave up the search for frozen strawberries remembering that I had a small amount left in my own freezer and moved on to frozen yogurt. They have to have frozen yogurt with low sugar/low-cal.

After searching for 3 minutes (mind you the freezer section is not even a full aisle) I was able to find something that resembled low-cal ice cream. Keep in mind there was a plethora of unhealthy choices of ice-cream. There was: Caramel Ice Cream, Chunky Monkey, Neapolitan, Double Chocolate, Rocky Road, etc. Nothing that resembled a …I dunno...Healthy because I want to live to see my grandkids go to college flavor. Okay that was harsh. I love Cookie Dough Ice Cream as much as the next person but I’ve learned that good ol’ Tanqueray motto “Everything in Moderation”. So I save it for my occasional visit to Friendly’s or Cold Stone.

Okay I feel like I’m losing you here…Let me travel back to the story (got to love my tangential excursions).
Fine. So I settle on the bootleg low-cal ice cream and start up the search for low-cal juice. This can’t be too hard I tell myself. Everyone has low-cal juice. Even 7-Eleven has this.

Folks, my dear, dear readers….THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE STORE THEY DO NOT HAVE LOW CAL JUICE.

Are you FRICKING KIDDING ME???????????

I’m not overreacting I tell myself. You are not throwing a Bougie- fit. Okay maybe you ARE throwing a fit but this one is well deserved. How do you call yourself a supermarket without a selection? There is nothing SUPER about you…you IMPOSTER you! You are merely a mini-mart on steroids. I could have saved more time and money for that matter (the ice cream was like $5) by taking the drive to PATHMARK…simply selecting what I wanted and sauntering over to the SELF CHECK OUT and leaving shortly thereafter.

Then it dawned on me…my gripe wasn’t a personal preference issue…what about the people who need sugarless choices. Did no one have Diabetes or high blood pressure in this neighborhood? (Although I wish that were the truth…I know better) Did this supermarket do a census and conclude that they didn’t need to provide healthier options for the people that ventured into this particular store?

And as I continued to wonder…I became angry. How dare you charge people higher prices and offer a very limited selection of food?

I was no longer in a smoothie mood. I put everything back that I picked up and immediately left the store. The neighborhood that the store is in is truly mixed neighborhood both culturally and economically. However, my most educated guess would lead me to believe that (due to its central location) the store is targeted to the economically disadvantaged population in the village. Those that do not read/study labels or do comparison shopping. Those that do not have the leisure of jumping in their car and driving 10 minutes to a better choice. Those who are not focusing on whether or not a food is organic…

Please do not misinterpret me or my intent. I am not asserting that if you don’t have money you’re not smart, or choosy about what you eat. However, I don’t think that those who are watching every dime will take the bus ($4) or cab ($10) to lug groceries back from a not so close market to save 50-100 calories or to forgo trans-fats. Although the benefits are clear to you and I (quality of life, longer life, better health), to those that are less fortunate quantity is better than quality.

I went to work that day silently fuming. I felt like they were slowly poisoning people “in the hood.” However, technically it was not “the hood” but the most central part of town.

Hey man, your diabetes acting up? Have some more Kool-Aid! (Sorry Chris Rock must have possessed me for a moment)

On the way to my office, I usually take the back streets. I counted at least three “Quickie-Marts.” I scoffed. Surely they sold fresh fruit and vegetables in there…yea right.

I knew that this could not be my discovery all alone. For some time I have known that those who are less fortunate and less educated were often given inferior choices. I searched the internet for studies done on the subject and found the following article from the Department of City Planning site.

http://www.nyc.gov/html/dcp/html/supermarket/index.shtml

After reading this article I had a feeling of vindication. So you do know about it Mister Man!

My favorite excerpts from the article are as follows:

“Diabetes now affects over 700,000 people in New York City (type two I’d bet), over 1.1 million New Yorkers are obese, and another 2 million are overweight… Food dollars are likely being spent by residents in high need areas at discount convenience stores whose line of food products is limited, of poor quality, and generally more expensive than the same products sold at supermarkets…”

Overall this leads to “greater incidences of diet related diseases including diabetes and obesity, low consumption of fresh fruits and vegetables by area residents, lost business opportunities, and a diminished quality of life in neighborhoods.”

Now that my assertion was validated by the Department of City Planning….what am I to do create change? My options can include: writing a letter to the store’s HQ, writing a letter to the mayor, starting a petition, boycotting mini-marts that don’t offer healthy choices.

The article suggested that this is a city problem. But what about us suburbanites? We are affected by this too.

One thing is for sure. I will write a proposal to my sorority alumnae chapter to do a community service event that is based on teaching better eating habits. But in the mean time what else can I do…

Ideas? Thoughts?

IT'S A SAVINGS PASS!!

2008-06-18T15:14:00.000-07:00

Happy Shopping means I got a discount.

I am guilty of so many things…

1.As of late cheating on my diet with a tortilla chip (it was just one…It shouldn’t count).
2.Watching the entire season of Miss Rap Supreme (see previous post)
3.Sometimes not signaling when I change lanes in BK (but heck no one else does. I know. I know two wrongs...but when in Rome…)
4.Forgetting department store coupons at home!

Now one of these things can be easily rectified….

1.Can’t take that back and I don’t want to!
2.Can’t take that back even though "Chiba" should have won the competition.
3.People drive crazy in the city…and if I need to get the heck out of the way I will. I make no promises.
4.Ding! Ding! Ding! I see B.OnA B. solution coming!

And with that I bring you B.On A B does SHOPPING!

I absolutely hate it when I get into Bed Bath & Beyond and realize I left that 20% coupon at home. I mean how could I? They send dozens of them every week and they never expire (ignore the expiration date…the lovely people at BBB do!).

So what’s a B.onAB to do? Saving is a must…Squandering money went out with chain belts and cat suits at the club or heck anywhere.

Here is my answer to Savvy Shopping!

1.Start with a brand new email address. Call it something you won’t forget later like CouponsforYourNameHere@gmail.com . Go to your favorite store’s websites and sign up for the mailing list using this email address. Be sure to use an easy to remember password.
Rationale: Save your real email address from the weekly email and junk that will definitely be on its way to your address once you sign up.

2.Sign up for the free rewards program…WARNING-Free rewards programs try to get you to buy frequently (duh) ….Keep your eye on the prize…the coupons that will come in the mail or to your inbox. For example, DSW’s rewards program…you have to buy 8 pairs of shoes (last time I checked) before you get the free pair BUT in the mean time they send you 20% off coupons regularly.

3.See a coupon that fits your exact need/want? PRINT IT OUT RIGHT AWAY…Don’t wait (don’t get fired doing it either). Waiting is going to cause you to forget about it. Print it out right away, cut it neatly (if necessary), fold it, and place it in your wallet! So when you go to pay at the register…AHA! You have a coupon.

4.Shop when you are ready!!! Learn the cycle. For example, every month or so Macy’s has a ONE DAY SALE…missed it this month? So what? It’s coming again. If you can wait you can save.

5.Be nice to the sales reps. You should always be nice, but you should be especially nice when you are shopping. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve gotten an “inside tip” on a sale coming up. “Don’t buy that honey. It’s going on sale next week!” Remember who helped you as well. You may be asked at the register and your acknowledgement that “___helped me” could mean commission or better hours for that friendly sales rep and savings for you!

6.READ THE FINE PRINT!!! Most times there are conditions on the bottom of the coupon. Don’t get caught out there…read them and be aware before you have a rude awakening at the counter.

7.Get a personal shopper. It’s free at Lord & Taylor and many other department stores. In the past I have picked out an outfit and gave the rep my credit card info and she rang it up on the day of the sale (saving me 40% at the time). No wait, No fuss! Fabulous!

Final Caveat….Be discreet with your savings pass (read: coupon). Use the correct terminology: at Lord & Taylor it’s a savings pass at NY& Co it’s an online coupon or ring code. Use an indoor tone when you tell the sales rep that you have a discount…it’s YOUR business not everyone else’s. Ask the sales rep “I have this savings pass. Can you apply this to my purchase?” This is a classy way of approaching the situation. And always make sure you can pay full price just in case the coupon doesn’t work. It’s tacky to argue over a COUPON! (I have witnessed this…it’s never a good look). Do the math in your head before you get to the counter.

OH I ALMOST FORGOT. Calculate the amount you saved or just look at the receipt and immediately transfer that amount from your checking to your savings account! You didn’t save anything if you spend it at the food court!

HAPPY SHOPPING!

TTFN.

HI HATER

2008-06-10T13:00:00.000-07:00

Every morning I wake up, say my prayers/thanks, brush my teeth, and check my email. I have a few email accounts (as most people do). It is my way of keeping organized. I have hotmail (on MSN) for most of my social correspondence. I have gmail for business. I have my general work email and I have another hotmail address for graphics/website help. Let’s just say when it comes to email…I get it in : - )

I digress. Anyway I always check MSN.com to see what is new in the world. I have to say that http://www.msn.com/ comes up with the most timely articles/discussion topics. I wonder if they are reading my mind and then posting the answer. Hmmm.

Case and point. http://lifestyle.msn.com/mindbodyandsoul/personalgrowth/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=7810919&GT1=32001 (open in a new window to review…there will be a test)

Once again MSN has done it! The topic of our discussion today is dealing with people who try to thwart your B.on a B. spirit. See significant quotes from the article followed by my two cents below:

The Honest Critic. “This is the person that considers it her/his] divine right… to speak the truth at all costs. And you’re not supposed to be offended because this person is just being honest.”

The advice the article gives: This type of person is self-centered, says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., author of It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction. "She says the first thing that pops into her mind — just like a 2-year-old — with no regard for hurt feelings or consequences." Or she's provocative just for effect, hoping to cause a stir by dropping verbal bombs no one else would dream of saying. But here's the rub: Telling this walking sledgehammer that her harsh words hurt your or anyone else's feelings may play right into her need to be the brave truth teller, thus stoking an already inflamed ego. So to call her on her bad behavior, say something like, "I guess I'm one of those people who prefers tact and empathy to 'honesty,'" suggests Tessina.

B.on a B. response: Honesty does not automatically equal truth. It never did. I have met many people that use this excuse. They pride themselves in always “keeping it real/realistic” as if their opinion is gospel truth. The sad part is they never do it with themselves. So your honesty is just for me? Why thanks…you shouldn’t have…no really you keep it.

Hater says: “You look fat/too skinny/funny/silly in that dress”
My response: “I look great but if you’d try it on, you wouldn’t look right which is why you’re upset. Don’t worry I understand”
Hater says…who the hell cares what the hater said because I’ve already walked away or averted my attention to something more important.

Next up the “Change-Averse Critic”. I would actually like to change the name of this hater. I hereby rename “Change-Averse Critic”….wait for it…. “The I’m stupid, uncreative, fruitless, and otherwise a loser and I want company…come join me Hater”. (takes a deep breath) also known as the “How’d you get that” hater.

Here’s what the article says... With this type of critic, there are usually two underlying issues at play — fear and a need for control. "They're afraid of the unknown and of not being in charge of their surroundings, so they end up projecting those fears onto everybody else," explains Tessina. Your idea might also make this critic realize her life isn't all she wants it to be, so she/he tries to hold you back along with her/him.

B.on a B. response: I hate this hater! Can you tell? Okay. Okay. Strongly dislike. I recently ran into said hater a year ago. This person was in my place of residence (which is a big deal because I usually don’t let haters in the house…but who knew that person was a hater. Go figure) for all of five seconds before they said, “How much do you pay for this? How did you get in here?

PAUSE. I need a moment to breathe. Exhale. Okay. Let’s proceed.

Hater: How much do you pay for this? How did you get in here?
My Response: BLANK STARE…followed by a sigh. (I really don’t want to be mean to this person but COME ON REALLY?)
Hater: I mean do you pay a lot?
My Response: BLANK STARE (I’m really shocked. I am also trying to figure out if this person wants help finding a place or if they want to compare/compete with me.) I know a great real estate agent*. Let me know if you want her number.
Hater: Oh please. I’m not a baller like you… (Snickers at their own joke)
My Response: Sorry to hear that….you ready to go?

Needless to say this person has not seen the inside of my home again.

Finally, my favorite critic from the article “The Competitive critic.” This is the critic that I am sad to say I have the most interactions with. This is the person that you get along with, have fun with, but then all of a sudden, out of no where, they hate on you. You purchase a new car…they find some way to say how their car is better. You get a new job…they some how find a way to tell you that one day you’ll get a job like they will. To be honest and truthful, this person is not faring any better than you in life. If they were, you would know it, and they wouldn’t have to brag. Looking at the grand picture…why are you competing against anyone….in LIFE? Competition is great…as long as you are actually in a competition. But the last time I checked…the only one keeping score on life is God. So I repeat…why are they competing with you?

Now say this loud and proud: I do things to make myself happy. I do it at the pace which pleases me. My decisions are based on my needs and my family’s needs. My thought process when making a decision does not include you. Okay hater??

Feel better right? Well heck I do! LOL

The article says to confront the Competitive Critic and ask them if they are truly happy for you. I disagree here. Chances are if you are reading this blog…you are no dummy (shameless branding). You know they are not happy for you. Instead, I would simply reply “I’m happy with my choice” and leave it at that.

Phew! That was a lot of negativity to handle in one day. Some final thoughts for all of you B.on a B’s out there:

1. Recognize hate. Acknowledge that your FRIENDS may be the ones hating on you. Use your discretion. Figure out if this person is truly a friend. They may be good people but are projecting their insecurities on to you for the moment. Your response should then be aimed at the root of the problem.

2. Validate yourself at home. Make sure you know what your strengths are. You will always be affected by haters if you are unsure of yourself. Before you walk out the door make sure you are confident about all aspects of you.

3. Hang around movers and shakers. I sound like my mom here. You are truly what your friends are. If they are going places and not afraid to take risks. You will be motivated to do the same. (Quick acknowledgement to my friends, grain, sorors, and family. you guys are the best lol)

4. Don’t become a hater. If you recognize any of those hater comments coming out of your mouth…STOP and apologize immediately. Then go and figure out what is truly the problem.

5. Everything isn’t hate. The truth hurts. Evaluate what was said and see if it has the ring of truth. Even if it was said harshly. It may be poorly conveyed constructive criticism. “You’re breath stinks” is not hate. “You failed” is not hate. “You’re not that pretty”…ding ding ding HATE! See the difference? (if you didn’t…the keywords there are “not that”)

I leave you with my favorite and most uncanny response to hate comes from the movie Pirates of the Caribbean”

Guardsmen: Jack Sparrow! You have got to be the worst pirate I have ever heard of! (Scoffs)
Johnny Depp: (with a real slick tone to his voice) Oh but you have heard of me…

LOL! Stay relevant!

TTFN

Will the female Kanye stand up?!

2008-05-21T22:10:00.000-07:00

So yes I admit it. I watch Miss Rap Supreme. Sigh (That was hard for me to do). But I have very good reason to. As a fan of hip hop (not a full out fanatic. READ: not like the people who recite rhymes while walking down the street...FOR THOSE PEOPLE: YOU LOOK CRAZY DOING THAT..STOP IT) I would really like to see a talented female MC step up to the plate. Scratch that...I would really like to see a talented well dressed female MC step up to the plate. Sorrowfully, I have not found that in Miss Rap Supreme. As a result, I am now looking for potential. I'm looking for someone they can take to Nordstrom or Bloomies and come out with a female Kanye West. That someone should also have the talent to stand up to the lyrics of the Kanye's, the Lupe's, and so forth. Now, please don't mistake my intent. There are a lot of great female rappers..(I've always liked Foxy, Lyte,Lauryn Hill, Latifah, and even Remy Ma's battles etc.) and I don't aim to insult any of them. I just want more. Or maybe I want less. I want more and less!

Less (in no particular order):

Gimmicky clothing (lots are guilty)
Weird hair (Kim I love you but that means you)
Bright/tacky color combinations
brand name dropping (especially if you are not going to wear it right)
wacked out stylists!
Weak Rhymes
SEX...stop talking about body parts...when i first encountered the words Ill Nana, it really made me sick : -(

More (again in no particular order):

metaphors
story telling (quick acknowledgement to Eve..I did like that Love is Blind song and Kim)
Believable and blended weaves
grown up voices ( I cannot listen to the high pitched chipmunk on a record effect)
Clothes...actual clothes not contraptions. Stop shopping at Vicki's for everything...visit the other stores in the mall. Would it kill you to stroll in Lord & Taylor's?
songs about anything other than sex, Gucci (usually rhymed with...oh well you know), and/or Prada

The truth is any natural born female has a (rhymes with Gucci) and if she really wanted a Gucci (I mean a bag this time) she could run to the store (given she has the cash) and purchase one. But not every female can step up to a mic in a crowded room and completely move an audience with her lyrics, style and presence. Even if she had all the money in the world.

I know that the rap industry is male dominated and at times sexist but there has to be a greater need (greater than mine) to hear a female rapper that has something inspiring to say.

So far on Miss Rap Supreme, I like Chiba and Reece. However, they fall into the problem of being poorly presented. Chiba needs a stylist that will give her more of a mature look. She can still be sexy just not so overt. Reece is cool too she just needs someone to tone down the platinum blond, give her a precision cut, and arch her brows. Then Wa-la Fabulous!

As an admitted optimist, I hope these two (as well as the other women) are transformed. They all have potential but they are rough around the edges image wise. A little consultation with a true stylist (whose repertoire does not include the Barnum & Bailey Circus) and a touch of charm school and these ladies could truly be what the industry needs more of.

TTFN! (ta ta for now)

video.vh1.com

B.On A.B.'s take on Coffee, Tea and the like

2008-05-05T00:13:00.001-07:00

I'm a big fan of S-bucks and DD. With the plethora of locations and yummy selections I often find myself getting up early just to grab a cup of mint "Refresh" tea. Or rushing from work to grab a cup of white hot chocolate before class. The tea calms me before a hectic day and the cocoa coats my stomach (preventing from noisy and embarrassing hunger-related disruptions during class).

Without realizing it, my tea and cocoa field trips became part of my daily regime.
I had a slight epiphany last semester, while in class. A twinge of guilt, embarrassment and remorse suddenly came over me as I picked up my DD cup. There I was sipping $2 Hot cocoa in my management class and realized the depressing irony.

"Who am I fooling? What am I learning here?" I thought. How dare I call myself a student of business majoring in management and I'm mismanaging my own funds. This $4 a day habit is costing me.
I quickly turned to an empty page in my notebook and jotted down the following:

$2 (tea a day) X 5 days a week (no tea on Sat & Sun) = $10
$2 (cocoa) X 2 nights a week (class) = $4
$14 a week X 4 weeks = $56
$56 x 12 months = $672

Yea, that's right $672 a year on tea and cocoa. I suddenly felt sick. I took one long loving look at the half-full lukewarm cup of cocoa and silently bid it farewell. I swore off tea and cocoa as if it were poison.

Okay...that lasted for a whole week. I was running early one morning and decided to drop into Target for a couple of items for the house...and there it was...a gleaming STARBUCKS sign in TARGET. Oh what a lovely sight it was. It was cold outside and I was wandering aimlessly around Target. What better way to start the day and fight off the cold then with a nice tall steaming cup of Tazo tea? ::SIGH:: (Someone cue "I Know" by Jay-Z). So I sauntered over and ordered myself some tea.

At work that day I realized that I didn't have to give up my love of peppermint tea and cocoa. I just had to find a suitable solution to my costly habit. I thought about just buying tea three times a week instead of five times. Nope. That won't work. Okay what about drinking tea at home before I get to work? Hmm. Nope. There was something stylish about having that cup with me every morning as I arrived at work. Could it be that the the coffee cup is the ultimate fashion accessory of 2008? Did it beat out the treo and blackberry of 2007? Or the Sidekick of 2006?

The coffee cup with the safety-sleeve is all over the place...Like leggings (spandex reincarnated!!) and Uggs...

I interrupt this blog for a special message:
Ladies can we NOT wear Uggs in the summer with short skirts? It's confusing and stinky (re: sweaty feet in the summer)...Go get a pedi and wear sandals. THANKS!

I digress..

Where was I? Oh yes my tea habit. There had to be some way that I could have my tea, preserve my precious dollars, and yet remain stylish. Then it came to me. Keep the tea...lose the cup! I could still have my Starbucks or DD or Celestial Seasonings (great mint tea) but I would buy it in bulk, make it at home and put it in an ultra sexy-sleek vacuum bottle (alias Thermos).

Now I know what you're thinking...a Thermos? Yuck!

Oh quite the contrary...my dears I am now the proud owner of an adorable vacuum flask/bottle. There are all different shapes, sizes, designs etc. Designer flasks (yes you read it right).
They range from retro flasks (see picture to the right) to sleek designs.

They cost anywhere from $4 to $30 depending on size and brand. I have a four dollar one that holds about 16 fl oz.

So how much am I saving you ask? Let's see:

$4 bottle (one time cost) + $120 ($10 a month-supply of tea and/or cocoa at one tea bag/cocoa pkt per day) = $124

$672-124= $548 a year!

That's some savings and I'm still drinking the same tea! Now, this does mean I have to make my own tea and it does not account for the cost of sugar. However, one cannot ignore $548 of money saved.

I must say that every once in a blue moon I do go to Starbucks and DD just for sheer convenience. I am not discouraging the patronage of such fine beverage producing institutions but there is a wise saying “Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.” (Josh Billings)....Every little bit counts.

Til next time :- )

Oh yea!

Check out...
My Vintage Kitchen http://www.myvintagekitchen.blogspot.com/
http://www.thermos.com/

Welcome To Bourge(oisie) On A Budget

2008-03-30T18:43:00.000-07:00

Hi...How are you? Glad you made it.

Welcome to Bourge(oisie) On A Budget or "Bourgie" (boo-jee) on a Budget for short. The intent for creating this blog is simple...

1. To highlight hot, new, fashion and beauty trends.
2. To share economical alternatives for the latest fashion/beauty trends.
3. To share easy how-to's...on the latest looks.
4. and finally...To make the world fashionably fabulous!

How the blog will work:

- Highlights will be posted weekly on the following topics: Fashion, Beauty/Skin Care, Culture, Misc. Experiences.
- Readers are encouraged to post their fashion finds and rate the ones posted.

**DISCLAIMER**
This blog is not endorsed by any brand or company and reflect the honest opinion of the author. Any derogatory postings or postings containing profanity will be deleted.

Happy reading!